Poem XIII

"Think not thou art what thou appearest!My Selim, thou art sadly changed:This morn I saw thee gentlest--dearest--But now thou'rt from thyself estranged.My love thou surely knew'st before,It ne'er was less--nor can be more.To see thee--hear thee--near thee stay--And hate the night--I know not why,Save that we meet not but by day;With thee to live, with thee to die,I dare not to my hope deny:Thy cheek--thine eyes--thy lips to kiss--Like this--and this--no more than this;fyFor, Allah! sure thy lips are flame:What fever in thy veins is flushing?My own have nearly caught the same,At least I feel my cheek, too, blushing.To soothe thy sickness, watch thy health,Partake, but never waste thy wealth,Or stand with smiles unmurmuring by,And lighten half thy poverty;Do all but close thy dying eye,For that I could not live to try;To these alone my thoughts aspire:More can I do? or thou require?But, Selim, thou must answer whyfzWe need so much of mystery?The cause I cannot dream nor tell,But be it, since thou say'st 'tis well;Yet what thou mean'st by 'arms' and 'friends,'Beyond my weaker sense extends.I meant that Giaffir should have heardThe very vow I plighted thee;His wrath would not revoke my word:But surely he would leave me free.Can this fond wish seem strange in me,To be what I have ever been?What other hath Zuleika seenFrom simple childhood's earliest hour?What other can she seek to seeThan thee, companion of her bower,The partner of her infancy?These cherished thoughts with life begun,Say, why must I no more avow?What change is wrought to make me shunThe truth--my pride, and thine till now?To meet the gaze of stranger's eyesOur law--our creed--our God denies;Nor shall one wandering thought of mineAt such, our Prophet's will, repine:No! happier made by that decree,He left me all in leaving thee.Deep were my anguish, thus compelledgaTo wed with one I ne'er beheld:This wherefore should I not reveal?Why wilt thou urge me to conceal?gbI know the Pacha's haughty moodTo thee hath never boded good;And he so often storms at nought,Allah! forbid that e'er he ought!And why I know not, but withinMy heart concealment weighs like sin.gcIf then such secrecy be crime,And such it feels while lurking here;Oh, Selim! tell me yet in time,Nor leave me thus to thoughts of fear.Ah! yonder see the Tchocadar,My father leaves the mimic war;I tremble now to meet his eye--Say, Selim, canst thou tell me why?"