Of the Protestant Conspiracy to Take the Pope's Life (By a Gentleman Who Has Been on the Spot.)
Come all ye Christian people, unto my tale give ear,'Tis about a base consperracy, as quickly shall appear;'Twill make your hair to bristle up, and your eyes to start and glow,When of this dread consperracy you honest folks shall know.
The news of this consperracy and villianous attempt,I read it in a newspaper, from Italy it was sent:It was sent from lovely Italy, where the olives they do grow,And our holy father lives, yes, yes, while his name it is No NO.
And 'tis there our English noblemen goes that is Puseyites nolonger,Because they finds the ancient faith both better is and stronger,And 'tis there I knelt beside my lord when he kiss'd the POPE histoe,And hung his neck with chains at St. Peter's Vinculo.
And 'tis there the splendid churches is, and the fountains playinggrand,And the palace of PRINCE TORLONIA, likewise the Vatican;And there's the stairs where the bagpipe-men and the piffararysblow.And it's there I drove my lady and lord in the Park of Pincio.
And 'tis there our splendid churches is in all their pride andglory,Saint Peter's famous Basilisk and Saint Mary's Maggiory;And them benighted Prodestants, on Sunday they must goOutside the town to the preaching-shop by the gate of Popolo.
Now in this town of famous Room, as I dessay you have heard,There is scarcely any gentleman as hasn't got a beard.And ever since the world began it was ordained so,That there should always barbers he wheresumever beards do grow.
And as it always has been so since the world it did begin,The POPE, our Holy Potentate, has a beard upon his chin;And every morning regular when cocks begin to crow,There comes a certing party to wait on POPE PIO.
There comes a certing gintlemen with razier, soap, and lather,A shaving most respectfully the POPE, our Holy Father.And now the dread consperracy I'll quickly to you show,Which them sanguinary Prodestants did form against NONO.
Them sanguinary Prodestants, which I abore and hate,Assembled in the preaching-shop by the Flaminian gate;And they took counsel with their selves to deal a deadly blowAgainst our gentle Father, the Holy POPE PIO.
Exhibiting a wickedness which I never heard or read of;What do you think them Prodestants wished? to cut the good Pope'shead off!And to the kind POPE'S Air-dresser the Prodestant Clark did go,And proposed him to decapitate the innocent PIO.
"What hever can be easier," said this Clerk--this Man of Sin,"When you are called to hoperate on His Holiness's chin,Than just to give the razier a little slip--just so?--And there's an end, dear barber, of innocent PIO!"
The wicked conversation it chanced was overerdBy an Italian lady; she heard it every word:Which by birth she was a Marchioness, in service forced to goWith the parson of the preaching-shop at the gate of Popolo.
When the lady heard the news, as duty did obleege,As fast as her legs could carry her she ran to the Poleege."O Polegia," says she (for they pronounts it so),"They're going for to massyker our Holy POPE PIO.
"The ebomminable Englishmen, the Parsing and his Clark,His Holiness's Air-dresser devised it in the dark!And I would recommend you in prison for to throwThese villians would esassinate the Holy POPE PIO?
"And for saving of His Holiness and his trebble crowndI humbly hope your Worships will give me a few pound;Because I was a Marchioness many years ago,Before I came to service at the gate of Popolo."
That sackreligious Air-dresser, the Parson and his manWouldn't, though ask'd continyally, own their wicked plan--And so the kind Authoraties let those villians goThat was plotting of the murder of the good PIO NONO.
Now isn't this safishnt proof, ye gentlemen at home,How wicked is them Prodestants, and how good our Pope at Rome?So let us drink confusion to LORD JOHN and LORD MINTO,And a health unto His Eminence, and good PIO NONO.
Words in this poem
- shall v. i.
- To owe; to be under obligation for. [OE. shal, schal, imp. sholde, scholde, AS. scal, sceal, I am obliged, imp. scolde, sceolde, inf. sculan; akin to OS. skulan, pres. skal, imp. skolda, D. zullen,]
- folks n.
- In Anglo-Saxon times, the people of a group of townships or villages; a community; a tribe. [AS. folc; akin to D. volk, OS. & OHG. folk, G. volk, Icel. f, Sw. & Dan. folk, Lith. pulkas crowd, and perh. to E. follow.]
- vatican n.
- A magnificent assemblage of buildings at Rome, near the church of St. Peter, including the pope's palace, a museum, a library, a famous chapel, etc. [L. Vaticanus, mons, or collis, Vaticanus, the Vatican hill, in Rome, on the western bank of the Tiber: cf. F. Vatican, It. Vaticano.]
- drove n.
- A collection of cattle driven, or cattle collected for driving; a number of animals, as oxen, sheep, or swine, driven in a body. [AS. draf, fr. drifan to drive. See Drive.]
- basilisk n.
- A fabulous serpent, or dragon. The ancients alleged that its hissing would drive away all other serpents, and that its breath, and even its look, was fatal. See Cockatrice. [L. basiliscus, Gr. little king, kind of serpent, dim. of king; -- so named from some prominences on the head resembling a crown.]
- potentate n.
- One who is potent; one who possesses great power or sway; a prince, sovereign, or monarch. [LL. potentatus, fr. potentare to exercise power: cf. F. potentat. See Potent, a.]
- decapitate v. t.
- To cut off the head of; to behead. [LL. decapitatus, p. p. of decapitare; L. de- + caput head. See Chief.]
- clerk n.
- A clergyman or ecclesiastic. [Either OF. clerc, fr. L. clericus a priest, or AS. clerc, cleric, clerk, priest, fr. L. clericus, fr. Gr. Clergy.]
- barber n.
- One whose occupation it is to shave or trim the beard, and to cut and dress the hair of his patrons. Barber's itch. See under Itch. [OE. barbour, OF. barbeor, F. barbier, as if fr. an assumed L. barbator, fr. barba beard. See 1st Barb.]
- marchioness n.
- The wife or the widow of a marquis; a woman who has the rank and dignity of a marquis. Spelman. [LL. marchionissa, fr. marchio a marquis. See Marquis.]
- humbly adv.
- With humility; lowly.
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
Of the Protestant Conspiracy to Take the Pope's Life (By a Gentleman Who Has Been on the Spot.) is in the public domain. This text is taken from Ballads, Project Gutenberg ebook #2732; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: William Makepeace Thackeray, Of the Protestant Conspiracy to Take the Pope's Life (By a Gentleman Who Has Been on the Spot.), in Ballads (1849–1855), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #2732, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/thackeray-ballads/of-the-protestant-conspiracy-to-take-the-pope-s-life-by-a-ge.html, id L10431.
Form and metre
Of the Protestant Conspiracy to Take the Pope's Life (By a Gentleman Who Has Been on the Spot.) is 74 lines in 17 stanzas. The metre is iambic heptameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 75%). 86% of its stressed syllables fall where the metre puts the beat. The lines average 13.0 syllables. 14 lines end on an unstressed syllable, a feminine ending. 19% of the lines run on without a stop at the line end.
See other poems in iambic heptameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 AABB earA · appearA · glowB · knowB
- 2 --AA attempt · sent · growA · noA
- 3 ABB-A- noA · longerB · strongerB · his · toeA · vinculo
- 6 --AA heard · beard · soA · growA
- 7 AA-- beginA · chinA · crow · pio
- 9 AA-- hateA · gateA · blow · pio
- 11 AA-- sinA · chinA · so · pio
- 12 AA-- overerdA · wordA · go · popolo
- 13 AA-- obleegeA · poleegeA · so · pio
- 14 AA-- clarkA · darkA · throw · pio
- 16 AA-- manA · planA · go · nono
- 17 AA-- homeA · romeA · minto · nono
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic heptameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| Come all ye Christian people, unto my tale give ear, | 13 | ···/˘/˘······ |
| 'Tis about a base consperracy, as quickly shall appear; | 15 | ··········/˘·˘/ |
| 'Twill make your hair to bristle up, and your eyes to start and glow, | 15 | ·····/˘········ |
| When of this dread consperracy you honest folks shall know. | 14 | ·········/˘··· |
| The news of this consperracy and villianous attempt, | 14 | ············˘/ |
| I read it in a newspaper, from Italy it was sent: | 14 | ·····/·˘·/˘··· |
| It was sent from lovely Italy, where the olives they do grow, | 15 | ····/˘/˘··/˘··· |
| And our holy father lives, yes, yes, while his name it is No NO. | 16 | ·//˘/˘·········· |
| And 'tis there our English noblemen goes that is Puseyites no | 15 | ···//˘········· |
| longer, | 2 | /˘ |
| Because they finds the ancient faith both better is and stronger, | 15 | ·····/˘··/˘··/˘ |
| And 'tis there I knelt beside my lord when he kiss'd the POPE his | 15 | ·····˘/········ |
| toe, | 1 | · |
| And hung his neck with chains at St. Peter's Vinculo. | 13 | ········/˘··· |
| And 'tis there the splendid churches is, and the fountains playing | 15 | ····/˘/˘···/˘/˘ |
| grand, | 1 | · |
| And the palace of PRINCE TORLONIA, likewise the Vatican; | 14 | ··/˘·····/··/˘ |
| And there's the stairs where the bagpipe-men and the piffararys | 15 | ······/········ |
| blow. | 1 | · |
| And it's there I drove my lady and lord in the Park of Pincio. | 16 | ······/˘········ |
| And 'tis there our splendid churches is in all their pride and | 14 | ···//˘/˘······ |
| glory, | 2 | /˘ |
| Saint Peter's famous Basilisk and Saint Mary's Maggiory; | 15 | ·/˘/˘/˘˘··/˘··· |
| And them benighted Prodestants, on Sunday they must go | 14 | ··˘/˘····/···· |
| Outside the town to the preaching-shop by the gate of Popolo. | 16 | //····/˘········ |
| Now in this town of famous Room, as I dessay you have heard, | 15 | ·····/˘········ |
| There is scarcely any gentleman as hasn't got a beard. | 14 | ··/˘/˘/˘·/˘··· |
| And ever since the world began it was ordained so, | 12 | ·/···˘/··˘/· |
| That there should always barbers he wheresumever beards do grow. | 16 | ···/·/˘········· |
| And as it always has been so since the world it did begin, | 15 | ···/·········˘/ |
| The POPE, our Holy Potentate, has a beard upon his chin; | 15 | ··//˘/˘········ |
| And every morning regular when cocks begin to crow, | 13 | ·/˘/˘/˘··˘/·· |
| There comes a certing party to wait on POPE PIO. | 13 | ·····/˘····/˘ |
| There comes a certing gintlemen with razier, soap, and lather, | 15 | ·············/˘ |
| A shaving most respectfully the POPE, our Holy Father. | 14 | ·/˘·˘/˘··//˘/˘ |
| And now the dread consperracy I'll quickly to you show, | 14 | ·········/˘··· |
| Which them sanguinary Prodestants did form against NONO. | 15 | ··/˘˘˘········· |
| Them sanguinary Prodestants, which I abore and hate, | 14 | ·/˘˘˘········· |
| Assembled in the preaching-shop by the Flaminian gate; | 14 | ˘/˘··/˘···˘/˘· |
| And they took counsel with their selves to deal a deadly blow | 14 | ···/˘······/˘· |
| Against our gentle Father, the Holy POPE PIO. | 13 | ··//˘/˘·/˘·/˘ |
| Exhibiting a wickedness which I never heard or read of; | 13 | ˘/˘·/˘··/···· |
| What do you think them Prodestants wished? to cut the good Pope's | 14 | ·············· |
| head off! | 2 | ·· |
| And to the kind POPE'S Air-dresser the Prodestant Clark did go, | 15 | ······/˘······· |
| And proposed him to decapitate the innocent PIO. | 14 | ·˘/··˘/˘··/˘/˘ |
| "What hever can be easier," said this Clerk--this Man of Sin, | 14 | ·····/˘······· |
| "When you are called to hoperate on His Holiness's chin, | 13 | ··········/˘· |
| Than just to give the razier a little slip--just so?-- | 13 | ········/˘··· |
| And there's an end, dear barber, of innocent PIO!" | 12 | ·····/˘·/˘/˘ |
| The wicked conversation it chanced was overerd | 13 | ·/˘·˘/˘······ |
| By an Italian lady; she heard it every word: | 13 | ··˘/˘/˘···/˘· |
| Which by birth she was a Marchioness, in service forced to go | 14 | ······/˘·/˘··· |
| With the parson of the preaching-shop at the gate of Popolo. | 16 | ··/˘··/˘········ |
| When the lady heard the news, as duty did obleege, | 13 | ··/˘····/˘··· |
| As fast as her legs could carry her she ran to the Poleege. | 15 | ······/˘······· |
| "O Polegia," says she (for they pronounts it so), | 12 | ············ |
| "They're going for to massyker our Holy POPE PIO. | 13 | ·/·····//˘·/˘ |
| "The ebomminable Englishmen, the Parsing and his Clark, | 15 | ·······/˘·/˘··· |
| His Holiness's Air-dresser devised it in the dark! | 12 | ·/˘·/˘˘/···· |
| And I would recommend you in prison for to throw | 13 | ····˘/··/˘··· |
| These villians would esassinate the Holy POPE PIO? | 14 | ·········/˘·/˘ |
| "And for saving of His Holiness and his trebble crownd | 13 | ··/˘··/˘····· |
| I humbly hope your Worships will give me a few pound; | 13 | ·/˘··/˘······ |
| Because I was a Marchioness many years ago, | 11 | ·····/˘/·˘/ |
| Before I came to service at the gate of Popolo." | 14 | ·····/˘······· |
| That sackreligious Air-dresser, the Parson and his man | 14 | ······/˘·/˘··· |
| Wouldn't, though ask'd continyally, own their wicked plan-- | 13 | /˘········/˘· |
| And so the kind Authoraties let those villians go | 12 | ············ |
| That was plotting of the murder of the good PIO NONO. | 15 | ··/˘··/˘···/˘·· |
| Now isn't this safishnt proof, ye gentlemen at home, | 12 | ·˘˘·····/˘·· |
| How wicked is them Prodestants, and how good our Pope at Rome? | 15 | ·/˘········/··· |
| So let us drink confusion to LORD JOHN and LORD MINTO, | 14 | ····˘/˘·····/˘ |
| And a health unto His Eminence, and good PIO NONO. | 14 | ······/˘··/˘·· |
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