Dick's Variety
Dull uniformity in foolsI hate, who gape and sneer by rules;You, Mullinix, and slobbering C----Who every day and hour the same areThat vulgar talent I despiseOf pissing in the rabble's eyes.And when I listen to the noiseOf idiots roaring to the boys;To better judgment still submitting,I own I see but little wit in:Such pastimes, when our taste is nice,Can please at most but once or twice.But then consider Dick, you'll findHis genius of superior kind;He never muddles in the dirt,Nor scours the streets without a shirt;Though Dick, I dare presume to say,Could do such feats as well as they.Dick I could venture everywhere,Let the boys pelt him if they dare,He'd have them tried at the assizesFor priests and jesuits in disguises;Swear they were with the Swedes at Bender,And listing troops for the Pretender.But Dick can f--t, and dance, and frisk,No other monkey half so brisk;Now has the speaker by his ears,Next moment in the House of Peers;Now scolding at my Lady Eustace,Or thrashing Baby in her new stays.Presto! begone; with t'other hopHe's powdering in a barber's shop;Now at the antichamber thrustingHis nose, to get the circle just in;And damns his blood that in the rearHe sees a single Tory there:Then woe be to my lord-lieutenant,Again he'll tell him, and again on't
Words in this poem
- despise v. t.
- To look down upon with disfavor or contempt; to contemn; to scorn; to disdain; to have a low opinion or contemptuous dislike of. [OF. despis-, in some forms of despire to despise, fr. L. despicere, despectum, to look down upon, despise; de- + spicere, specere, to look. See Spy, and cf. Des]
- presume v. t.
- To assume or take beforehand; esp., to do or undertake without leave or authority previously obtained. [F. présumer, L. praesumere, praesumptum; prae before + sumere to take. See Assume, Redeem.]
- bender n.
- One who, or that which, bends.
- listing n.
- The act or process of one who lists (in any sense of the verb); as, the listing of a door; the listing of a stock at the Stock Exchange.
- presto adv.
- Quickly; immediately; in haste; suddenly. [It. or Sp. presto quick, quickly. See Prest, a.]
- powdering
- a. & n. from Powder, v. t. Powdering tub. (a) A tub or vessel in which meat is corned or salted. (b) A heated tub in which an infected lecher was placed for cure.
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
Dick's Variety is in the public domain. This text is taken from The Poems of Jonathan Swift, D.D., Volume 2, Project Gutenberg ebook #13621; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Jonathan Swift, Dick's Variety, in Cadenus and Vanessa, and Other Poems (1710–1745), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #13621, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/swift-poems/dick-s-variety.html, id L09343.
Form and metre
Dick's Variety is 38 lines in a single stanza. It is in rhyming couplets, 79% of the lines: octosyllabic couplets. The metre is iambic tetrameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 86%). 95% of its stressed syllables fall where the metre puts the beat. The lines average 8.4 syllables. 7 lines end on an unstressed syllable, a feminine ending. 26% of the lines run on without a stop at the line end.
See other poems in octosyllabic couplets, other poems in iambic tetrameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 AA--BBCC--DDEEFFGGHHIIJJKKLL--MM--NNOO foolsA · rulesA · c · are · despiseB · eyesB · noiseC · boysC · submitting · in · niceD · twiceD · findE · kindE · dirtF · shirtF · sayG · theyG · everywhereH · dareH · assizesI · disguisesI · benderJ · pretenderJ · friskK · briskK · earsL · peersL · eustace · stays · hopM · shopM · thrusting · in · rearN · thereN · lieutenantO · on'tO
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic tetrameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| Dull uniformity in fools | 8 | ··˘/˘˘·· |
| I hate, who gape and sneer by rules; | 8 | ········ |
| You, Mullinix, and slobbering C---- | 8 | ·/˘·/˘˘· |
| Who every day and hour the same are | 9 | ·/˘··/··· |
| That vulgar talent I despise | 8 | ·/˘/˘·˘/ |
| Of pissing in the rabble's eyes. | 8 | ·/˘··/˘· |
| And when I listen to the noise | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| Of idiots roaring to the boys; | 8 | ·/˘/˘··· |
| To better judgment still submitting, | 9 | ·/˘/˘·˘/˘ |
| I own I see but little wit in: | 9 | ·····/˘·· |
| Such pastimes, when our taste is nice, | 8 | ·/··/··· |
| Can please at most but once or twice. | 8 | ········ |
| But then consider Dick, you'll find | 8 | ··˘/˘··· |
| His genius of superior kind; | 8 | ·/˘·˘/˘· |
| He never muddles in the dirt, | 8 | ·/˘/˘··· |
| Nor scours the streets without a shirt; | 8 | ·/······ |
| Though Dick, I dare presume to say, | 8 | ····˘/·· |
| Could do such feats as well as they. | 8 | ········ |
| Dick I could venture everywhere, | 8 | ···/˘/˘· |
| Let the boys pelt him if they dare, | 8 | ········ |
| He'd have them tried at the assizes | 9 | ········· |
| For priests and jesuits in disguises; | 9 | ···/˘·˘/˘ |
| Swear they were with the Swedes at Bender, | 9 | ·······/˘ |
| And listing troops for the Pretender. | 9 | ·/˘···˘/˘ |
| But Dick can f--t, and dance, and frisk, | 9 | ········· |
| No other monkey half so brisk; | 8 | ·/˘/˘··· |
| Now has the speaker by his ears, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| Next moment in the House of Peers; | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| Now scolding at my Lady Eustace, | 9 | ·/˘··/˘/˘ |
| Or thrashing Baby in her new stays. | 9 | ·/˘/˘···· |
| Presto! begone; with t'other hop | 9 | /·˘/·˘/˘· |
| He's powdering in a barber's shop; | 8 | ·/˘··/˘· |
| Now at the antichamber thrusting | 8 | ···/˘˘/˘ |
| His nose, to get the circle just in; | 9 | ·····/˘·· |
| And damns his blood that in the rear | 8 | ········ |
| He sees a single Tory there: | 8 | ···/˘/˘· |
| Then woe be to my lord-lieutenant, | 9 | ······˘/˘ |
| Again he'll tell him, and again on't | 9 | ˘/····˘/· |
Notes from the edition 2
The notes to the Poems of Jonathan Swift, Volume II (Project Gutenberg #13621).
- Line 30 "Dick Tighe and his wife lodged over against us; and he has been seen, out of our upper windows, beating her two or three times; ... I am told she is the most urging, provoking devil that ever was born; and he a hot whiffling puppy, very apt to resent."--Journal to Stella, "Prose Works," ii, 229.--W. E. B.
- Line 38 Farquhar, who inscribed his play of the "Inconstant" to Richard Tighe, has painted him in very different colours from those of the Dean's satirical pencil. Yet there may be discerned, even in that dedication, the oulines of a light mercurial character, capable of being represented as a coxcomb or fine gentleman, as should suit the purpose of the writer who was disposed to immortalize him.--Scott.
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