A Tale of Earnest Effort and Human Perfidy
It's all very well for preachin',But preachin' and practice don't gee:I've give the thing a fair trial,And you can't ring it in on me.So toddle along with your pledge, Squire,Ef that's what you want me to sign;Betwixt me and you, I've been thar,And I'll not take any in mine.
A year ago last Fo'th JulyA lot of the boys was here.We all got corned and signed the pledgeFor to drink no more that year.There was Tilmon Joy and Sheriff McPhailAnd me and Abner Fry,And Shelby's boy Leviticus,And the Golyers, Luke and Cy.
And we anteed up a hundredIn the hands of Deacon KedgeFor to be divided the follerin' Fo'th'Mongst the boys that kep' the pledge.And we knowed each other so well, Squire,You may take my scalp for a fool,Ef every man when he signed his nameDidn't feel cock-sure of the pool.
Fur a while it all went lovely;We put up a job next dayFur to make Joy b'lieve his wife was dead,And he went home middlin' gay;Then Abner Fry he killed a manAnd afore he was hung McPhailJest bilked the widder outen her sheerBy getting him slewed in jail.
But Chris'mas scooped the Sheriff,The egg-nogs gethered him in;And Shelby's boy LeviticusWas, New Year's, tight as sin;And along in March the GolyersGot so drunk that a fresh-biled owlWould 'a' looked 'longside o' them two young men,Like a sober temperance fowl.
Four months alone I walked the chalk,I thought my heart would break;And all them boys a-slappin my backAnd axin', "What'll you take?"I never slep' without dreamin' dreamsOf Burbin, Peach, or Rye,But I chawed at my niggerhead and sworeI'd rake that pool or die.
At last--the Fo'th--I humped myselfThrough chores and breakfast soon,Then scooted down to Taggart's store--For the pledge was off at noon;And all the boys was gethered thar,And each man hilt his glass--Watchin' me and the clock quite solemn-likeFur to see the last minute pass.
The clock struck twelve! I raised the jugAnd took one lovin' pull--I was holler clar from skull to boots.It seemed I couldn't git full.But I was roused by a fiendish laughThat might have raised the dead--Them ornary sneaks had sot the clockA half an hour ahead!
"All right!" I squawked. "You've got me,Jest order your drinks agin,And we'll paddle up to the Deacon'sAnd scoop the ante in."But when we got to Kedge's,What a sight was that we saw!The Deacon and Parson SkeetersIn the tail of a game of Draw.
They had shook 'em the heft of the mornin',The Parson's luck was fa'r,And he raked, the minute we got thar,The last of our pool on a pa'r.So toddle along with your pledge, Squire,I 'low it's all very fine,But ez fur myself, I thank ye,I'll not take any in mine.
Words in this poem 15
- toddle v. i.
- To walk with short, tottering steps, as a child. [Akin to tottle, totter.]
- betwixt prep.
- In the space which separates; between. [OE. betwix, bitwix, rarely bitwixt, AS. betweox, betweohs, betweoh, betwih; pref. be- by + a form fr. AS. twa two. See Between.]
- thar v.
- It needs; need. Piers Plowman. [OE. thar, Þarf, AS. Þearf, infin. Þurfan to need; akin to OHG. durfan, G. dürfen to be allowed, Icel. Þurfa to need, Goth. Þaúrban.]
- leviticus n.
- The third canonical book of the Old Testament, containing the laws and regulations relating to the priests and Levites among the Hebrews, or the body of the ceremonial law. [See Levitical.]
- kedge v. i.
- To move (a vessel) by carrying out a kedge in a boat, dropping it overboard, and hauling the vessel up to it. [Cf. dial. Sw. keka to tug, to drag one's self slowly forward; or perh. fr. ked, and kedge, n., for ked anchor, named from the ked or cask fastened to the anchor]
- went n.
- Course; way; path; journey; direction.
- afore prep.
- Before (in all its senses).
- jest n.
- A deed; an action; a gest. [OE. jeste, geste, deed, action, story, tale, OF. geste, LL. gesta, orig., exploits, neut. pl. from L. gestus, p. p. of gerere to bear, carry, accomplish, perfor]
- slewed a.
- Somewhat drunk.
- niggerhead n.
- A strong black chewing tobacco, usually in twisted plug form; negro head.
- fiendish a.
- Like a fiend; diabolically wicked or cruel; infernal; malignant; devilish; hellish.
- ahead adv.
- In or to the front; in advance; onward. [Pref. a- + head.]
- shook v. t.
- To pack, as staves, in a shook.
- heft n.
- The act or effort of heaving [From Heave: cf. hefe weight. Cf. Haft.]
- thank n.
- A expression of gratitude; an acknowledgment expressive of a sense of favor or kindness received; obligation, claim, or desert, or gratitude; -- now generally used in the plural. [AS. Þanc, Þonc, thanks, favor, thought; akin to OS. thank favor, pleasure, thanks, D. & G. dank thanks, Icel. Þ\'94kk, Dan. tak, Sw. tack, Goth. Þagks thanks; -]
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
A Tale of Earnest Effort and Human Perfidy is in the public domain. This text is taken from Pike County Ballads and Other Poems, Project Gutenberg ebook #6062; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: John Hay, A Tale of Earnest Effort and Human Perfidy, in Pike County Ballads and Other Poems (1871), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #6062, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/hay-pike-county/a-tale-of-earnest-effort-and-human-perfidy.html, id L21575.
Form and metre
A Tale of Earnest Effort and Human Perfidy is 80 lines in 10 stanzas of 8 lines each. The metre is iambic tetrameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 81%).
See other poems in iambic tetrameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 -A-A-B-B preachin · geeA · trial · meA · squire · signB · thar · mineB
- 2 AB-B-A-A julyA · hereB · pledge · yearB · mcphail · fryA · leviticus · cyA
- 3 -A-A-B-B hundred · kedgeA · fo'th · pledgeA · squire · foolB · name · poolB
- 4 -A-A-B-B lovely · dayA · dead · gayA · man · mcphailB · sheer · jailB
- 5 -A-A-B-B sheriff · inA · leviticus · sinA · golyers · owlB · men · fowlB
- 6 -A-A-B-B chalk · breakA · back · takeA · dreams · ryeB · swore · dieB
- 7 -A-A-B-B myself · soonA · store · noonA · thar · glassB · like · passB
- 8 -A-A-B-B jug · pullA · boots · fullA · laugh · deadB · clock · aheadB
- 9 -A-A-B-B me · aginA · deacon's · inA · kedge's · sawB · skeeters · drawB
- 10 -AAA-B-B mornin · fa'rA · tharA · pa'rA · squire · fineB · ye · mineB
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic tetrameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| It's all very well for preachin', | 8 | ··/˘···· |
| But preachin' and practice don't gee: | 8 | ····/˘·· |
| I've give the thing a fair trial, | 8 | ······/˘ |
| And you can't ring it in on me. | 8 | ········ |
| So toddle along with your pledge, Squire, | 9 | ·/˘˘/···· |
| Ef that's what you want me to sign; | 8 | ········ |
| Betwixt me and you, I've been thar, | 8 | ˘/······ |
| And I'll not take any in mine. | 8 | ····/˘·· |
| A year ago last Fo'th July | 8 | ··˘/···/ |
| A lot of the boys was here. | 7 | ······· |
| We all got corned and signed the pledge | 8 | ········ |
| For to drink no more that year. | 7 | ······· |
| There was Tilmon Joy and Sheriff McPhail | 10 | ······/˘˘/ |
| And me and Abner Fry, | 6 | ···/˘· |
| And Shelby's boy Leviticus, | 8 | ·/˘·˘/˘˘ |
| And the Golyers, Luke and Cy. | 7 | ······· |
| And we anteed up a hundred | 8 | ··/˘··/˘ |
| In the hands of Deacon Kedge | 7 | ····/˘· |
| For to be divided the follerin' Fo'th | 11 | ···˘/˘····· |
| 'Mongst the boys that kep' the pledge. | 7 | ······· |
| And we knowed each other so well, Squire, | 9 | ····/˘··· |
| You may take my scalp for a fool, | 8 | ········ |
| Ef every man when he signed his name | 9 | ·/˘······ |
| Didn't feel cock-sure of the pool. | 8 | /˘······ |
| Fur a while it all went lovely; | 8 | ······/˘ |
| We put up a job next day | 7 | ······· |
| Fur to make Joy b'lieve his wife was dead, | 9 | ········· |
| And he went home middlin' gay; | 7 | ······· |
| Then Abner Fry he killed a man | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| And afore he was hung McPhail | 8 | ·˘/···˘/ |
| Jest bilked the widder outen her sheer | 9 | ···/˘/˘·· |
| By getting him slewed in jail. | 8 | ·/˘··˘·· |
| But Chris'mas scooped the Sheriff, | 8 | ····˘·/˘ |
| The egg-nogs gethered him in; | 8 | ·····˘·· |
| And Shelby's boy Leviticus | 8 | ·/˘·˘/˘˘ |
| Was, New Year's, tight as sin; | 6 | ······ |
| And along in March the Golyers | 8 | ·˘/····· |
| Got so drunk that a fresh-biled owl | 8 | ········ |
| Would 'a' looked 'longside o' them two young men, | 10 | ·········· |
| Like a sober temperance fowl. | 8 | ··/˘/˘˘· |
| Four months alone I walked the chalk, | 8 | ··˘/···· |
| I thought my heart would break; | 6 | ······ |
| And all them boys a-slappin my back | 9 | ········· |
| And axin', "What'll you take?" | 7 | ···/˘·· |
| I never slep' without dreamin' dreams | 8 | ·/······ |
| Of Burbin, Peach, or Rye, | 6 | ······ |
| But I chawed at my niggerhead and swore | 10 | ·····/˘˘·· |
| I'd rake that pool or die. | 6 | ······ |
| At last--the Fo'th--I humped myself | 8 | ·······/ |
| Through chores and breakfast soon, | 6 | ···/˘· |
| Then scooted down to Taggart's store-- | 8 | ·/˘··/˘· |
| For the pledge was off at noon; | 7 | ······· |
| And all the boys was gethered thar, | 8 | ········ |
| And each man hilt his glass-- | 6 | ······ |
| Watchin' me and the clock quite solemn-like | 10 | /˘·····/˘· |
| Fur to see the last minute pass. | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| The clock struck twelve! I raised the jug | 8 | ········ |
| And took one lovin' pull-- | 6 | ···/˘· |
| I was holler clar from skull to boots. | 9 | ··/˘····· |
| It seemed I couldn't git full. | 8 | ··˘·/˘·· |
| But I was roused by a fiendish laugh | 9 | ······/˘· |
| That might have raised the dead-- | 7 | ····˘·· |
| Them ornary sneaks had sot the clock | 9 | ········· |
| A half an hour ahead! | 7 | ···/˘˘/ |
| "All right!" I squawked. "You've got me, | 8 | ····˘··· |
| Jest order your drinks agin, | 7 | ·/˘··˘/ |
| And we'll paddle up to the Deacon's | 9 | ··/˘···/˘ |
| And scoop the ante in." | 6 | ···/˘· |
| But when we got to Kedge's, | 7 | ······· |
| What a sight was that we saw! | 7 | ······· |
| The Deacon and Parson Skeeters | 8 | ·/˘·/˘/˘ |
| In the tail of a game of Draw. | 8 | ········ |
| They had shook 'em the heft of the mornin', | 10 | ·········· |
| The Parson's luck was fa'r, | 6 | ·/˘··· |
| And he raked, the minute we got thar, | 9 | ····/˘··· |
| The last of our pool on a pa'r. | 8 | ···/···· |
| So toddle along with your pledge, Squire, | 9 | ·/˘˘/···· |
| I 'low it's all very fine, | 7 | ····/˘· |
| But ez fur myself, I thank ye, | 8 | ····/··· |
| I'll not take any in mine. | 7 | ···/˘·· |
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