"That My Lord Berkeley Stinks When He Is in Love"
Did ever problem thus perplex,Or more employ the female sex?So sweet a passion who would think,Jove ever form'd to make a stink?The ladies vow and swear, they'll try,Whether it be a truth or lie.Love's fire, it seems, like inward heat,Works in my lord by stool and sweat,Which brings a stink from every pore,And from behind and from before;Yet what is wonderful to tell it,None but the favourite nymph can smell it.But now, to solve the natural causeBy sober philosophic laws;Whether all passions, when in ferment,Work out as anger does in vermin;So, when a weasel you torment,You find his passion by his scent.We read of kings, who, in a fright,Though on a throne, would fall to sh--.Beside all this, deep scholars know,That the main string of Cupid's bow,Once on a time was an a-- gut;Now to a nobler office put,By favour or desert preferr'dFrom giving passage to a t--;But still, though fix'd among the stars,Does sympathize with human a--.Thus, when you feel a hard-bound breech,Conclude love's bow-string at full stretch,Till the kind looseness comes, and then,Conclude the bow relax'd again.And now, the ladies all are bent,To try the great experiment,Ambitious of a regent's heart,Spread all their charms to catch a f--Watching the first unsavoury wind,Some ply before, and some behind.My lord, on fire amid the dames,F--ts like a laurel in the flames.The fair approach the speaking part,To try the back-way to his heart.For, as when we a gun discharge,Although the bore be none so large,Before the flame from muzzle burst,Just at the breech it flashes first;So from my lord his passion broke,He f--d first and then he spoke.The ladies vanish in the smother,To confer notes with one another;And now they all agreed to nameWhom each one thought the happy dame.Quoth Neal, whate'er the rest may think,I'm sure 'twas I that smelt the stink.You smell the stink! by G--d, you lie,Quoth Ross, for I'll be sworn 'twas I.Ladies, quoth Levens, pray forbear;Let's not fall out; we all had share;And, by the most I can discover,My lord's a universal lover.
Words in this poem
- jove n.
- The chief divinity of the ancient Romans; Jupiter. [L. Jupiter, gen. Jovis, OL. Jovis, nom. & gen. for Djovis; akin to E. Tuesday. See Tuesday, and cf. Jupiter.]
- philosophic a.
- Of or pertaining to philosophy; versed in, or imbued with, the principles of philosophy; hence, characterizing a philosopher; rational; wise; temperate; calm; cool. [L. philosophicus: cf. F. philosophique.]
- vermin n.
- An animal, in general. [OE. vermine, F. vermine, from L. vermis a worm; cf. LL. vermen a worm, L. verminosus full of worms. See Vermicular, Worm.]
- favour n.
- Kind regard; propitious aspect; countenance; friendly disposition; kindness; good will. [Written also favour.]
- sympathize v. t.
- To experience together.
- conclude v. t.
- To shut up; to inclose. [L. concludere, conclusum; con- + claudere to shut. See Close, v. t.]
- amid prep.
- In the midst or middle of; surrounded or encompassed by; among. [OE. amidde, amiddes, on midden, AS. on middan, in the middle, fr. midde the middle. The s is an adverbial ending, originally marking the genitive; the t is a la]
- broke v. i.
- To transact business for another. Brome. [See Broker, and cf. Brook.]
- spoke n.
- The radius or ray of a wheel; one of the small bars which are inserted in the hub, or nave, and which serve to support the rim or felly. [OE. spoke, spake, AS, spaca; akin to D. speek, LG. speke, OHG. speihha, G. speiche. sq. root170. Cf. Spike a nail.]
- dame n.
- A mistress of a family, who is a lady; a womam in authority; especially, a lady. [F. dame, LL. domna, fr. L. domina mistress, lady, fem. of dominus master, ruler, lord; akin to domare to tame, subdue. See Tame, and cf. Dam mother, Dan, Danger]
- quoth v. t.
- Said; spoke; uttered; -- used only in the first and third persons in the past tenses, and always followed by its nominative, the word or words said being the object; as, quoth I. quoth he. [AS.cweedhan, imp cwæedh, pl. cwædon; akin to OS. queedhan, OHG. quethan, quedan, Icel. kveedha, Goth. qiþan. sq. root22. Cf. Bequeath.]
- neal v. i.
- To be tempered by heat.
- ross n.
- The rough, scaly matter on the surface of the bark of trees. [Etymol. uncertain.]
- discover v. i.
- To discover or show one's self.
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
"That My Lord Berkeley Stinks When He Is in Love" is in the public domain. This text is taken from The Poems of Jonathan Swift, D.D., Volume 1, Project Gutenberg ebook #14353; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Jonathan Swift, "That My Lord Berkeley Stinks When He Is in Love", in On Poetry: A Rhapsody, and Other Poems (1727), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #14353, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/swift-poems-vol1/that-my-lord-berkeley-stinks-when-he-is-in-love.html, id L24484.
Form and metre
"That My Lord Berkeley Stinks When He Is in Love" is 60 lines in a single stanza. It is in rhyming couplets, 60% of the lines: octosyllabic couplets. The metre is iambic tetrameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 89%).
See other poems in octosyllabic couplets, other poems in iambic tetrameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 AABBCC--DD----E-EE------------FFGG--HHIIJJKKLLMMNNOOPPQQ--RR perplexA · sexA · thinkB · stinkB · tryC · lieC · heat · sweat · poreD · beforeD · it · it · cause · laws · fermentE · vermin · tormentE · scentE · fright · — · know · bow · gut · put · preferr'd · t · stars · a · breech · stretch · thenF · againF · bentG · experimentG · heart · f · windH · behindH · damesI · flamesI · partJ · heartJ · dischargeK · largeK · burstL · firstL · brokeM · spokeM · smotherN · anotherN · nameO · dameO · thinkP · stinkP · lieQ · iQ · forbear · share · discoverR · loverR
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic tetrameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| Did ever problem thus perplex, | 8 | ·/˘/˘·˘/ |
| Or more employ the female sex? | 8 | ··˘/·/·· |
| So sweet a passion who would think, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| Jove ever form'd to make a stink? | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| The ladies vow and swear, they'll try, | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| Whether it be a truth or lie. | 8 | ········ |
| Love's fire, it seems, like inward heat, | 8 | ·/···/˘· |
| Works in my lord by stool and sweat, | 8 | ········ |
| Which brings a stink from every pore, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| And from behind and from before; | 8 | ········ |
| Yet what is wonderful to tell it, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| None but the favourite nymph can smell it. | 10 | ·········· |
| But now, to solve the natural cause | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| By sober philosophic laws; | 8 | ·/˘·˘/˘· |
| Whether all passions, when in ferment, | 9 | ···/˘··/˘ |
| Work out as anger does in vermin; | 9 | ···/˘··/˘ |
| So, when a weasel you torment, | 8 | ···/˘·˘/ |
| You find his passion by his scent. | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| We read of kings, who, in a fright, | 8 | ········ |
| Though on a throne, would fall to sh--. | 9 | ·······// |
| Beside all this, deep scholars know, | 8 | ˘/···/˘· |
| That the main string of Cupid's bow, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| Once on a time was an a-- gut; | 8 | ········ |
| Now to a nobler office put, | 8 | ···/˘/˘· |
| By favour or desert preferr'd | 8 | ·/˘·˘/˘/ |
| From giving passage to a t--; | 8 | ·/˘/˘··· |
| But still, though fix'd among the stars, | 8 | ········ |
| Does sympathize with human a--. | 8 | ·/˘··/˘· |
| Thus, when you feel a hard-bound breech, | 8 | ········ |
| Conclude love's bow-string at full stretch, | 8 | ˘/······ |
| Till the kind looseness comes, and then, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| Conclude the bow relax'd again. | 8 | ˘/··˘/˘/ |
| And now, the ladies all are bent, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| To try the great experiment, | 8 | ····˘/˘˘ |
| Ambitious of a regent's heart, | 8 | ˘/˘··/˘· |
| Spread all their charms to catch a f-- | 8 | ········ |
| Watching the first unsavoury wind, | 9 | /˘······· |
| Some ply before, and some behind. | 8 | ········ |
| My lord, on fire amid the dames, | 8 | ···/˘/·· |
| F--ts like a laurel in the flames. | 10 | ·//··/˘··· |
| The fair approach the speaking part, | 8 | ··˘/·/˘· |
| To try the back-way to his heart. | 8 | ········ |
| For, as when we a gun discharge, | 8 | ······˘/ |
| Although the bore be none so large, | 8 | ········ |
| Before the flame from muzzle burst, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| Just at the breech it flashes first; | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| So from my lord his passion broke, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| He f--d first and then he spoke. | 8 | ········ |
| The ladies vanish in the smother, | 9 | ·/˘/˘··/˘ |
| To confer notes with one another; | 9 | ·˘/···˘/˘ |
| And now they all agreed to name | 8 | ····˘/·· |
| Whom each one thought the happy dame. | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| Quoth Neal, whate'er the rest may think, | 9 | ··˘˘/···· |
| I'm sure 'twas I that smelt the stink. | 8 | ········ |
| You smell the stink! by G--d, you lie, | 9 | ········· |
| Quoth Ross, for I'll be sworn 'twas I. | 8 | ········ |
| Ladies, quoth Levens, pray forbear; | 8 | /˘·/˘·˘/ |
| Let's not fall out; we all had share; | 8 | ········ |
| And, by the most I can discover, | 9 | ······˘/˘ |
| My lord's a universal lover. | 9 | ····˘/˘/˘ |
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