An Excellent New Ballad; or, the True English Dean to Be Hanged for a Rape. 1730
Our brethren of England, who love us so dear,And in all they do for us so kindly do mean,(A blessing upon them!) have sent us this year,For the good of our church, a true English dean.A holier priest ne'er was wrapt up in crape,The worst you can say, he committed a rape.
In his journey to Dublin, he lighted at Chester,And there he grew fond of another man's wife;Burst into her chamber and would have caress'd her;But she valued her honour much more than her life.She bustled, and struggled, and made her escapeTo a room full of guests, for fear of a rape.
The dean he pursued, to recover his game;And now to attack her again he prepares:But the company stood in defence of the dame,They cudgell'd, and cuff'd him, and kick'd him down stairs.His deanship was now in a damnable scrape,And this was no time for committing a rape.
To Dublin he comes, to the bagnio he goes,And orders the landlord to bring him a whore;No scruple came on him his gown to expose,'Twas what all his life he had practised before.He made himself drunk with the juice of the grape,And got a good clap, but committed no rape.
The dean, and his landlord, a jolly comrade,Resolved for a fortnight to swim in delight;For why, they had both been brought up to the tradeOf drinking all day, and of whoring all night.His landlord was ready his deanship to apeIn every debauch but committing a rape.
This Protestant zealot, this English divine,In church and in state was of principles sound;Was truer than Steele to the Hanover line,And grieved that a Tory should live above ground.Shall a subject so loyal be hang'd by the nape,For no other crime but committing a rape?
By old Popish canons, as wise men have penn'd 'em,Each priest had a concubine jure ecclesiae;Who'd be Dean of Fernes without a commendam?And precedents we can produce, if it please ye:Then why should the dean, when whores are so cheap,Be put to the peril and toil of a rape?
If fortune should please but to take such a crotchet,(To thee I apply, great Smedley's successor,)To give thee lawn sleeves, a mitre, and rochet,Whom wouldst thou resemble? I leave thee a guesser.But I only behold thee in Atherton's shape,For sodomy hang'd; as thou for a rape.
Ah! dost thou not envy the brave Colonel Chartres,Condemn'd for thy crime at threescore and ten?To hang him, all England would lend him their garters,Yet he lives, and is ready to ravish again.Then throttle thyself with an ell of strong tape,For thou hast not a groat to atone for a rape.
The dean he was vex'd that his whores were so willing;He long'd for a girl that would struggle and squall;He ravish'd her fairly, and saved a good shilling;But here was to pay the devil and all.His troubles and sorrows now come in a heap,And hang'd he must be for committing a rape.
If maidens are ravish'd, it is their own choice:Why are they so wilful to struggle with men?If they would but lie quiet, and stifle their voice,No devil nor dean could ravish them then.Nor would there be need of a strong hempen capeTied round the dean's neck for committing a rape.
Our church and our state dear England maintains,For which all true Protestant hearts should be glad:She sends us our bishops, our judges, and deans,And better would give us, if better she had.But, lord! how the rabble will stare and will gape,When the good English dean is hang'd up for a rape!
Words in this poem 22
- honour n.
- Esteem due or paid to worth; high estimation; respect; consideration; reverence; veneration; manifestation of respect or reverence. [OE. honor, honour, onour, onur, OF. honor, onor, honur, onur, honour, onour, F. honneur, fr. L. honor, honos.]
- defence n.
- The act of defending, or the state of being defended; protection, as from violence or danger. [F. défense, OF. defense, fem., defens, masc., fr. L. defensa (cf. Fence.]
- dame n.
- A mistress of a family, who is a lady; a womam in authority; especially, a lady. [F. dame, LL. domna, fr. L. domina mistress, lady, fem. of dominus master, ruler, lord; akin to domare to tame, subdue. See Tame, and cf. Dam mother, Dan, Danger]
- deanship n.
- The office of a dean.
- damnable a.
- Liable to damnation; deserving, or for which one deserves, to be damned; of a damning nature. [L. damnabilis, fr. damnare: cf. F. damnable. See Damn.]
- bagnio n.
- A house for bathing, sweating, etc.; -- also, in Turkey, a prison for slaves. [It. bagno, fr. L. balneum. Cf. Bain.]
- whore n.
- A woman who practices unlawful sexual commerce with men, especially one who prostitutes her body for hire; a prostitute; a harlot. Wyclif. [OE. hore, AS. h; akin to D. hoer, hoere, G. hure, OHG. huora, huorra, Icel. h, Dan. hore, Sw. hora, Goth. h an adulterer, AS. h adultery, OHG. huor, and probabl]
- scruple n.
- A weight of twenty grains; the third part of a dram. [L. scrupulus a small sharp or pointed stone, the twenty-fourth part of an ounce, a scruple, uneasiness, doubt, dim. of scrupus a rough or sharp stone, anxiety, ]
- fortnight n.
- The space of fourteen days; two weeks. [Contr. fr. fourteen nights, our ancestors reckoning time by nights and winters; so, also, seven nights, sennight, a week.]
- shall v. i.
- To owe; to be under obligation for. [OE. shal, schal, imp. sholde, scholde, AS. scal, sceal, I am obliged, imp. scolde, sceolde, inf. sculan; akin to OS. skulan, pres. skal, imp. skolda, D. zullen,]
- popish a.
- Of or pertaining to the pope; taught or ordained by the pope; hence, of or pertaining to the Roman Catholic Church; -- often used opprobriously.
- crotchet v. i.
- To play music in measured time. Donne.
- mitre n.
- A covering for the head, worn on solemn occasions by church dignitaries. It has been made in many forms, the present form being a lofty cap with two points or peaks. Fairholt.
- rochet n.
- A linen garment resembling the surplise, but with narrower sleeves, also without sleeves, worn by bishops, and by some other ecclesiastical dignitaries, in certain religious ceremonies. [F., dim. fr. OHG. rocch coat, G. rock.]
- guesser n.
- One who guesses; one who forms or gives an opinion without means of knowing.
- sodomy n.
- Carnal copulation in a manner against nature; buggery. Gen. [From Sodom. a country mentioned in the Bible: cf. F. sodomite.]
- throttle n.
- The windpipe, or trachea; the weasand. [Dim. of throat. See Throat.]
- hast
- , 2d pers. sing. pres. of. Fave, contr. of havest.
- groat n.
- An old English silver coin, equal to four pence. [LG. grote, orig., great, that is, a great piece of coin, larger than other coins in former use. See Great.]
- atone v. t.
- To set at one; to reduce to concord; to reconcile, as parties at variance; to appease.
- fairly adv.
- In a fairmanner; clearly; openly; plainly; fully; distinctly; frankly.
- hempen a.
- Made of hemp; as, a hempen cord.
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
An Excellent New Ballad; or, the True English Dean to Be Hanged for a Rape. 1730 is in the public domain. This text is taken from The Poems of Jonathan Swift, D.D., Volume 1, Project Gutenberg ebook #14353; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Jonathan Swift, An Excellent New Ballad; or, the True English Dean to Be Hanged for a Rape. 1730, in On Poetry: A Rhapsody, and Other Poems (1727), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #14353, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/swift-poems-vol1/an-excellent-new-ballad-or-the-true-english-dean-to-be-hanged-for-a-rape-1730.html, id L25618.
Form and metre
An Excellent New Ballad; or, the True English Dean to Be Hanged for a Rape. 1730 is 72 lines in 12 stanzas of 6 lines each. The rhyme scheme is ABABCC, complete in 6 of its 12 stanzas. The metre is anapaestic tetrameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 87%).
See other poems in anapaestic tetrameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 ABABCC dearA · meanB · yearA · deanB · crapeC · rapeC
- 2 -A-ABB chester · wifeA · her · lifeA · escapeB · rapeB
- 3 ABABCC gameA · preparesB · dameA · stairsB · scrapeC · rapeC
- 4 ABABCC goesA · whoreB · exposeA · beforeB · grapeC · rapeC
- 5 -A-ABB comrade · delightA · trade · nightA · apeB · rapeB
- 6 ABABCC divineA · soundB · lineA · groundB · napeC · rapeC
- 8 ABABCC crotchetA · successorB · rochetA · guesserB · shapeC · rapeC
- 9 -A-ABB chartres · tenA · garters · againA · tapeB · rapeB
- 10 ABAB-- willingA · squallB · shillingA · allB · heap · rape
- 11 ABABCC choiceA · menB · voiceA · thenB · capeC · rapeC
- 12 -A-ABB maintains · gladA · deans · hadA · gapeB · rapeB
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against anapaestic tetrameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| Our brethren of England, who love us so dear, | 11 | //˘·/˘····· |
| And in all they do for us so kindly do mean, | 12 | ········/˘·· |
| (A blessing upon them!) have sent us this year, | 11 | ·/˘········ |
| For the good of our church, a true English dean. | 11 | ····/···/˘· |
| A holier priest ne'er was wrapt up in crape, | 11 | ·/˘˘······· |
| The worst you can say, he committed a rape. | 11 | ······˘/˘·· |
| In his journey to Dublin, he lighted at Chester, | 13 | ··/˘·/˘·/˘·/˘ |
| And there he grew fond of another man's wife; | 11 | ······˘/˘·· |
| Burst into her chamber and would have caress'd her; | 12 | ····/˘···˘/· |
| But she valued her honour much more than her life. | 12 | ··/˘·/˘····· |
| She bustled, and struggled, and made her escape | 11 | ·/˘·/˘···˘/ |
| To a room full of guests, for fear of a rape. | 11 | ··········· |
| The dean he pursued, to recover his game; | 11 | ···˘/·˘/˘·· |
| And now to attack her again he prepares: | 11 | ···˘/·˘/·˘/ |
| But the company stood in defence of the dame, | 11 | ··/˘··˘/··· |
| They cudgell'd, and cuff'd him, and kick'd him down stairs. | 11 | ··········· |
| His deanship was now in a damnable scrape, | 11 | ·/˘····/˘˘· |
| And this was no time for committing a rape. | 11 | ······˘/˘·· |
| To Dublin he comes, to the bagnio he goes, | 11 | ·/˘····/˘·· |
| And orders the landlord to bring him a whore; | 11 | ·/˘·/······ |
| No scruple came on him his gown to expose, | 11 | ·/˘······˘/ |
| 'Twas what all his life he had practised before. | 11 | ··········· |
| He made himself drunk with the juice of the grape, | 11 | ··˘/······· |
| And got a good clap, but committed no rape. | 11 | ······˘/˘·· |
| The dean, and his landlord, a jolly comrade, | 11 | ····/··/˘/· |
| Resolved for a fortnight to swim in delight; | 11 | ˘/··/····˘/ |
| For why, they had both been brought up to the trade | 11 | ··········· |
| Of drinking all day, and of whoring all night. | 11 | ·/˘····/˘·· |
| His landlord was ready his deanship to ape | 11 | ·/··/˘·/˘·· |
| In every debauch but committing a rape. | 11 | ·/˘˘/·˘/˘·· |
| This Protestant zealot, this English divine, | 11 | ·/˘˘/˘·/˘˘/ |
| In church and in state was of principles sound; | 11 | ·······/˘˘· |
| Was truer than Steele to the Hanover line, | 11 | ·/˘····/˘˘· |
| And grieved that a Tory should live above ground. | 11 | ····/˘····· |
| Shall a subject so loyal be hang'd by the nape, | 12 | ··˘/·/˘····· |
| For no other crime but committing a rape? | 11 | ··/˘··˘/˘·· |
| By old Popish canons, as wise men have penn'd 'em, | 12 | ··/˘/˘······ |
| Each priest had a concubine jure ecclesiae; | 10 | ····/˘···· |
| Who'd be Dean of Fernes without a commendam? | 11 | ········˘/˘ |
| And precedents we can produce, if it please ye: | 11 | ·/˘··/˘···· |
| Then why should the dean, when whores are so cheap, | 10 | ·········· |
| Be put to the peril and toil of a rape? | 11 | ····/˘····· |
| If fortune should please but to take such a crotchet, | 12 | ·/˘·······/˘ |
| (To thee I apply, great Smedley's successor,) | 11 | ···˘/·/˘˘/˘ |
| To give thee lawn sleeves, a mitre, and rochet, | 11 | ······/˘·/˘ |
| Whom wouldst thou resemble? I leave thee a guesser. | 12 | ···˘/˘····/˘ |
| But I only behold thee in Atherton's shape, | 11 | ··/˘˘/··/˘· |
| For sodomy hang'd; as thou for a rape. | 10 | ·/˘˘······ |
| Ah! dost thou not envy the brave Colonel Chartres, | 12 | ····/˘··/˘/˘ |
| Condemn'd for thy crime at threescore and ten? | 10 | ˘/····/˘·· |
| To hang him, all England would lend him their garters, | 12 | ····/˘····/˘ |
| Yet he lives, and is ready to ravish again. | 12 | ·····/˘·/˘˘/ |
| Then throttle thyself with an ell of strong tape, | 11 | ·/˘˘/······ |
| For thou hast not a groat to atone for a rape. | 12 | ·······˘/··· |
| The dean he was vex'd that his whores were so willing; | 12 | ··········/˘ |
| He long'd for a girl that would struggle and squall; | 11 | ·······/˘·· |
| He ravish'd her fairly, and saved a good shilling; | 12 | ····/˘····/˘ |
| But here was to pay the devil and all. | 10 | ······/˘·· |
| His troubles and sorrows now come in a heap, | 11 | ·/˘·/˘····· |
| And hang'd he must be for committing a rape. | 11 | ······˘/˘·· |
| If maidens are ravish'd, it is their own choice: | 11 | ·/˘········ |
| Why are they so wilful to struggle with men? | 11 | ·······/˘·· |
| If they would but lie quiet, and stifle their voice, | 11 | ·····/·/˘·· |
| No devil nor dean could ravish them then. | 10 | ·/˘···/˘·· |
| Nor would there be need of a strong hempen cape | 11 | ········/˘· |
| Tied round the dean's neck for committing a rape. | 11 | ······˘/˘·· |
| Our church and our state dear England maintains, | 11 | /··/˘··/˘˘/ |
| For which all true Protestant hearts should be glad: | 11 | ····/˘˘···· |
| She sends us our bishops, our judges, and deans, | 11 | ···//˘//˘·· |
| And better would give us, if better she had. | 11 | ·/˘····/˘·· |
| But, lord! how the rabble will stare and will gape, | 11 | ····/˘····· |
| When the good English dean is hang'd up for a rape! | 12 | ···/˘······· |
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