King John's Christmas
King John was not a good man—He had his little ways.And sometimes no one spoke to himFor days and days and days.And men who came across him,When walking in the town,Gave him a supercilious stare,Or passed with noses in the air—And bad King John stood dumbly there,Blushing beneath his crown.
King John was not a good man,And no good friends had he.He stayed in every afternoon...But no one came to tea.And, round about December,The cards upon his shelfWhich wished him lots of Christmas cheer,And fortune in the coming year,Were never from his near and dear,But only from himself.
King John was not a good man,Yet had his hopes and fears.They'd given him no present nowFor years and years and years.But every year at Christmas,While minstrels stood about,Collecting tribute from the youngFor all the songs they might have sung,He stole away upstairs and hungA hopeful stocking out.
King John was not a good man,He lived his life aloof;Alone he thought a message outWhile climbing up the roof.He wrote it down and propped itAgainst the chimney stack:"TO ALL AND SUNDRY—NEAR AND FAR—F. CHRISTMAS IN PARTICULAR."And signed it not "Johannes R."But very humbly, "JACK."
"I want some crackers,And I want some candy;I think a box of chocolatesWould come in handy;I don't mind oranges,I do like nuts!And I SHOULD like a pocket-knifeThat really cuts.And, oh! Father Christmas, if you love me at all,Bring me a big, red india-rubber ball!"
King John was not a good man—He wrote this message out,And gat him to his room again,Descending by the spout.And all that night he lay there,A prey to hopes and fears."I think that's him a-coming now,"(Anxiety bedewed his brow.)"He'll bring one present, anyhow—The first I've had for years."
"Forget about the crackers,And forget about the candy;I'm sure a box of chocolatesWould never come in handy;I don't like oranges,I don't want nuts,And I HAVE got a pocket-knifeThat almost cuts.But, oh! Father Christmas, if you love me at all,Bring me a big, red india-rubber ball!"
King John was not a good man—Next morning when the sunRose up to tell a waiting worldThat Christmas had begun,And people seized their stockings,And opened them with glee,And crackers, toys and games appeared,And lips with sticky sweets were smeared,King John said grimly: "As I feared,Nothing again for me!"
"I did want crackers,And I did want candy;I know a box of chocolatesWould come in handy;I do love oranges,I did want nuts.I haven't got a pocket-knife—Not one that cuts.And, oh! if Father Christmas had loved me at all,He would have brought a big, red india-rubber ball!"
King John stood by the window,And frowned to see belowThe happy bands of boys and girlsAll playing in the snow.A while he stood there watching,And envying them all...When through the window big and redThere hurtled by his royal head,And bounced and fell upon the bed,An india-rubber ball!
AND OH, FATHER CHRISTMAS,MY BLESSINGS ON YOU FALLFOR BRINGING HIMA BIG, RED,INDIA-RUBBERBALL!
Words in this poem 16
- spoke n.
- The radius or ray of a wheel; one of the small bars which are inserted in the hub, or nave, and which serve to support the rim or felly. [OE. spoke, spake, AS, spaca; akin to D. speek, LG. speke, OHG. speihha, G. speiche. sq. root170. Cf. Spike a nail.]
- dumbly adv.
- In silence; mutely.
- stayed a.
- Staid; fixed; settled; sober; -- now written staid. See Staid.
- afternoon n.
- The part of the day which follows noon, between noon and evening.
- stole n.
- A long, loose garment reaching to the feet. [AS. stole, L. stola, Gr. stall. See Stall.]
- upstairs adv.
- Up the stairs; in or toward an upper story.
- hopeful a.
- Full of hope, or agreeable expectation; inclined to hope; expectant.
- wrote v. i.
- To root with the snout. See 1st Root. [OE. wroten. See 1st Root.]
- chimney n.
- A fireplace or hearth. Sir W. Raleigh.
- sundry a.
- Several; divers; more than one or two; various. [OE. sundry, sondry, AS. syndrig, fr. sundor asunder. See Sunder, v. t.]
- johannes n.
- A Portuguese gold coin of the value of eight dollars, named from the figure of King John which it bears;- often contracted into joe; as, a joe, or a half joe. [NL., fr. Gr. Y, Y, i. e., one whom Jehovah has blessed; hence F. Jean, E. John.]
- humbly adv.
- With humility; lowly.
- handy a.
- Performed by the hand. [OE. hendi, AS. hendig (in comp.), fr. hand hand; akin to D. handig, Goth. handugs clever, wise.]
- anyhow adv.
- In any way or manner whatever; at any rate; in any event.
- glee n.
- Music; minstrelsy; entertainment.
- grimly a.
- Grim; hideous; stern.
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
King John's Christmas is in the public domain. This text is taken from Now We Are Six, Project Gutenberg ebook #70516; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: A. A. Milne, King John's Christmas, in Now We Are Six (1927), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #70516, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/milne-now-we-are-six/king-johns-christmas.html, id L27220.
Form and metre
King John's Christmas is 106 lines in 11 stanzas. This poem did not settle on a metre of its own; the book it comes from is in iambic tetrameter.
See other poems in iambic tetrameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 -ABABCDDDC man · waysA · himB · daysA · himB · townC · stareD · airD · thereD · crownC
- 2 -A-A-BCCCB man · heA · afternoon · teaA · december · shelfB · cheerC · yearC · dearC · himselfB
- 3 -A-A-BCCCB man · fearsA · now · yearsA · christmas · aboutB · youngC · sungC · hungC · outB
- 4 -A-A-BC-CB man · aloofA · out · roofA · it · stackB · farC · particular · rC · jackB
- 5 -ABA-B-BCC crackers · candyA · chocolatesB · handyA · oranges · nutsB · knife · cutsB · allC · ballC
- 6 -A-A-BCCCB man · outA · again · spoutA · there · fearsB · nowC · browC · anyhowC · yearsB
- 7 -ABA-B-BCC crackers · candyA · chocolatesB · handyA · oranges · nutsB · knife · cutsB · allC · ballC
- 8 -A-A-BCCCB man · sunA · world · begunA · stockings · gleeB · appearedC · smearedC · fearedC · meB
- 9 -ABA-B-BCC crackers · candyA · chocolatesB · handyA · oranges · nutsB · knife · cutsB · allC · ballC
- 10 -A-A-BCCCB window · belowA · girls · snowA · watching · allB · redC · headC · bedC · ballB
- 11 -A---A christmas · fallA · him · red · rubber · ballA
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic tetrameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| King John was not a good man— | 7 | ······· |
| He had his little ways. | 6 | ···/˘· |
| And sometimes no one spoke to him | 8 | ·˘/····· |
| For days and days and days. | 6 | ······ |
| And men who came across him, | 7 | ····˘/· |
| When walking in the town, | 6 | ·/˘··· |
| Gave him a supercilious stare, | 8 | ····˘/˘· |
| Or passed with noses in the air— | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| And bad King John stood dumbly there, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| Blushing beneath his crown. | 6 | /˘···· |
| King John was not a good man, | 7 | ······· |
| And no good friends had he. | 6 | ······ |
| He stayed in every afternoon... | 8 | ···/˘·˘/ |
| But no one came to tea. | 6 | ······ |
| And, round about December, | 7 | ····˘/˘ |
| The cards upon his shelf | 6 | ······ |
| Which wished him lots of Christmas cheer, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| And fortune in the coming year, | 8 | ·/˘··/˘· |
| Were never from his near and dear, | 7 | ·/····· |
| But only from himself. | 6 | ·/˘·˘/ |
| King John was not a good man, | 7 | ······· |
| Yet had his hopes and fears. | 6 | ······ |
| They'd given him no present now | 7 | ·/··˘/· |
| For years and years and years. | 6 | ······ |
| But every year at Christmas, | 7 | ·/˘··/˘ |
| While minstrels stood about, | 6 | ·/˘··· |
| Collecting tribute from the young | 8 | ˘/˘/˘··· |
| For all the songs they might have sung, | 8 | ········ |
| He stole away upstairs and hung | 8 | ··˘/˘/·· |
| A hopeful stocking out. | 6 | ·/˘/˘· |
| King John was not a good man, | 7 | ······· |
| He lived his life aloof; | 6 | ····˘/ |
| Alone he thought a message out | 8 | ˘/···/˘· |
| While climbing up the roof. | 6 | ·/˘··· |
| He wrote it down and propped it | 7 | ······· |
| Against the chimney stack: | 6 | ···/˘· |
| "TO ALL AND SUNDRY—NEAR AND FAR— | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| F. CHRISTMAS IN PARTICULAR." | 7 | ·/˘·˘/˘ |
| And signed it not "Johannes R." | 8 | ····˘/˘· |
| But very humbly, "JACK." | 6 | ·/˘/˘· |
| "I want some crackers, | 5 | ···/˘ |
| And I want some candy; | 6 | ····/˘ |
| I think a box of chocolates | 7 | ·····/˘ |
| Would come in handy; | 5 | ···/˘ |
| I don't mind oranges, | 6 | ···/˘˘ |
| I do like nuts! | 4 | ···· |
| And I SHOULD like a pocket-knife | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| That really cuts. | 4 | ·/˘· |
| And, oh! Father Christmas, if you love me at all, | 12 | ··/˘/˘······ |
| Bring me a big, red india-rubber ball!" | 10 | ·····/˘/˘· |
| King John was not a good man— | 7 | ······· |
| He wrote this message out, | 6 | ···/˘· |
| And gat him to his room again, | 8 | ······˘/ |
| Descending by the spout. | 6 | ˘/˘··· |
| And all that night he lay there, | 7 | ······· |
| A prey to hopes and fears. | 6 | ······ |
| "I think that's him a-coming now," | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| (Anxiety bedewed his brow.) | 7 | ˘/˘···· |
| "He'll bring one present, anyhow— | 8 | ···/˘/˘· |
| The first I've had for years." | 6 | ······ |
| "Forget about the crackers, | 7 | ˘/···/˘ |
| And forget about the candy; | 8 | ·˘/···/˘ |
| I'm sure a box of chocolates | 7 | ·····/˘ |
| Would never come in handy; | 7 | ·/˘··/˘ |
| I don't like oranges, | 6 | ···/˘˘ |
| I don't want nuts, | 4 | ···· |
| And I HAVE got a pocket-knife | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| That almost cuts. | 4 | ·/·· |
| But, oh! Father Christmas, if you love me at all, | 12 | ··/˘/˘······ |
| Bring me a big, red india-rubber ball!" | 10 | ·····/˘/˘· |
| King John was not a good man— | 7 | ······· |
| Next morning when the sun | 6 | ·/˘··· |
| Rose up to tell a waiting world | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| That Christmas had begun, | 6 | ·/˘·˘/ |
| And people seized their stockings, | 7 | ·/˘··/˘ |
| And opened them with glee, | 6 | ·/˘··· |
| And crackers, toys and games appeared, | 8 | ·/˘···˘/ |
| And lips with sticky sweets were smeared, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| King John said grimly: "As I feared, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| Nothing again for me!" | 6 | /˘˘/·· |
| "I did want crackers, | 5 | ···/˘ |
| And I did want candy; | 6 | ····/˘ |
| I know a box of chocolates | 7 | ·····/˘ |
| Would come in handy; | 5 | ···/˘ |
| I do love oranges, | 6 | ···/˘˘ |
| I did want nuts. | 4 | ···· |
| I haven't got a pocket-knife— | 8 | ·/˘··/˘· |
| Not one that cuts. | 4 | ···· |
| And, oh! if Father Christmas had loved me at all, | 12 | ···/˘/˘····· |
| He would have brought a big, red india-rubber ball!" | 12 | ·······/˘/˘· |
| King John stood by the window, | 7 | ·····/˘ |
| And frowned to see below | 6 | ······ |
| The happy bands of boys and girls | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| All playing in the snow. | 6 | ·/˘··· |
| A while he stood there watching, | 7 | ·····/˘ |
| And envying them all... | 6 | ·/˘˘·· |
| When through the window big and red | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| There hurtled by his royal head, | 8 | ·/˘··/˘· |
| And bounced and fell upon the bed, | 8 | ········ |
| An india-rubber ball! | 6 | ·/˘/˘· |
| AND OH, FATHER CHRISTMAS, | 6 | ··/˘/˘ |
| MY BLESSINGS ON YOU FALL | 6 | ·/˘··· |
| FOR BRINGING HIM | 4 | ·/˘· |
| A BIG, RED, | 3 | ··· |
| INDIA-RUBBER | 5 | /˘˘/˘ |
| BALL! | 1 | · |
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