The Assistant Drapers' Petition
Pity the sorrows of a class of men,Who, though they bow to fashion and frivolity,No fancied claims or woes fictitious pen,But wrongs ell-wide, and of a lasting quality.
Oppress'd and discontented with our lot,Amongst the clamorous we take our station;A host of Ribbon Men--yet is there notOne piece of Irish in our agitation.
We do revere Her Majesty the Queen,We venerate our Glorious Constitution;We joy King William's advent should have been,And only want a Counter Revolution.
'Tis not Lord Russell and his final measure,'Tis not Lord Melbourne's counsel to the throne,'Tis not this Bill, or that, gives us displeasure,The measures we dislike are all our own.
The Cash Law the "Great Western" loves to name;The tone our foreign policy pervading;The Corn Laws--none of these we care to blame,Our evils we refer to over-trading.
By Tax or Tithe our murmurs are not drawn;We reverence the Church--but hang the cloth!We love her ministers--but curse the lawn!We have, alas! too much to do with both!
We love the sex:--to serve them is a bliss!We trust they find us civil, never surly;All that we hope of female friends is this,That their last linen may be wanted early.
Ah! who can tell the miseries of menThat serve the very cheapest shops in town?Till faint and weary, they leave off at ten,Knock'd up by ladies beating of 'em down!
But has not Hamlet his opinion given--O Hamlet had a heart for Drapers' servants!"That custom is"--say custom after seven--"More honor'd in the breach than the observance."
O come then, gentle ladies, come in time,O'erwhelm our counters, and unload our shelves;Torment us all until the seventh chime,But let us have the remnant to ourselves!
We wish of knowledge to lay in a stock,And not remain in ignorance incurable;--To study Shakspeare, Milton, Dryden, Locke,And other fabrics that have proved so durable.
We long for thoughts of intellectual kind,And not to go bewilder'd to our beds;With stuff and fustian taking up the mind,And pins and needles running in our heads!
For oh! the brain gets very dull and dry,Selling from morn till night for cash or credit;Or with a vacant face and vacant eye,Watching cheap prints that Knight did never edit.
Till sick with toil, and lassitude extreme,We often think, when we are dull and vapoury,The bliss of Paradise was so supreme,Because that Adam did not deal in drapery.
Words in this poem
- frivolity n.
- The condition or quality of being frivolous; also, acts or habits of trifling; unbecoming levity of disposition. [Cg. F. frivolité. See Frivolous.]
- amongst prep.
- Mixed or mingled; surrounded by. [OE. amongist, amonges, amonge, among, AS. onmang, ongemang, gemang, in a crowd or mixture. For the ending -st see Amidst. See Mingle.]
- revere v. t.
- To regard with reverence, or profound respect and affection, mingled with awe or fear; to venerate; to reverence; to honor in estimation. [L. revereri; pref. re- re- + vereri to fear, perh. akin to E. wary: cf. F. révérer.]
- venerate v. t.
- To regard with reverential respect; to honor with mingled respect and awe; to reverence; to revere; as, we venerate parents and elders. [L. veneratus, p. p. of venerari to venerate; akin to Venus Venus, Skr. van to like, to wish, and E. winsome. See Winsome.]
- glorious a.
- Exhibiting attributes, qualities, or acts that are worthy of or receive glory; noble; praiseworthy; excellent; splendid; illustrious; inspiring admiration; as, glorious deeds. [OF. glorios, glorious, F. glorieux, fr. L. gloriosus. See Glory, n.]
- surly a.
- Arrogant; haughty. Cotgrave. [Probably from sir, and originally meaning, sirlike, i.e., proud. See Sir, and Like, a.]
- chime n.
- The harmonious sound of bells, or of musical instruments. [OE. chimbe, prop., cymbal, OF. cymbe, cymble, in a dialectic form, chymble, F. cymbale, L. cymbalum, fr. Gr. Cymbal.]
- morn n.
- The first part of the day; the morning; -- used chiefly in poetry. [OE. morwen, morgen, AS. morgen; akin to D. morgen, OS. morgan, G. morgen, Icel. morginn, morgunn, Sw. morgon, Dan. morgen, Goth. maúrgins. Cf. Morrow, Morning.]
- edit v. t.
- To superintend the publication of; to revise and prepare for publication; to select, correct, arrange, etc., the matter of, for publication; as, to edit a newspaper. [F. éditer, or L. editus, p. p. of edere to give out, put forth, publish; e out + dare to give. See Date a point of time.]
- lassitude n.
- A condition of the body, or mind, when its voluntary functions are performed with difficulty, and only by a strong exertion of the will; languor; debility; weariness. [L. lassitudo, fr. lassus faint, weary; akin to E. late: cf. F. lassitude. See Late.]
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
The Assistant Drapers' Petition is in the public domain. This text is taken from The Poetical Works of Thomas Hood, Project Gutenberg ebook #15652; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Thomas Hood, The Assistant Drapers' Petition, in The Song of the Shirt, and Other Poems (1826–1845), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #15652, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/hood-poetical-works/the-assistant-drapers-petition.html, id L20188.
Form and metre
The Assistant Drapers' Petition is 56 lines in 14 stanzas of 4 lines each. The rhyme scheme is ABAB, complete in 10 of its 14 stanzas. The metre is iambic pentameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 84%).
See other poems in iambic pentameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 ABAB menA · frivolityB · penA · qualityB
- 2 ABAB lotA · stationB · notA · agitationB
- 3 AAAA queenA · constitutionA · beenA · revolutionA
- 4 ABAB measureA · throneB · displeasureA · ownB
- 5 ABAB nameA · pervadingB · blameA · tradingB
- 6 A-A- drawnA · cloth · lawnA · both
- 7 ABAB blissA · surlyB · thisA · earlyB
- 8 ABAB menA · townB · tenA · downB
- 10 ABAB timeA · shelvesB · chimeA · ourselvesB
- 11 ABAB stockA · incurableB · lockeA · durableB
- 12 ABAB kindA · bedsB · mindA · headsB
- 13 ABAB dryA · creditB · eyeA · editB
- 14 A-A- extremeA · vapoury · supremeA · drapery
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic pentameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| Pity the sorrows of a class of men, | 10 | /˘·/˘····· |
| Who, though they bow to fashion and frivolity, | 11 | ·····/˘·˘/˘ |
| No fancied claims or woes fictitious pen, | 10 | ·/˘···˘/˘· |
| But wrongs ell-wide, and of a lasting quality. | 11 | ·······/˘/˘ |
| Oppress'd and discontented with our lot, | 10 | ˘/··˘/˘·/· |
| Amongst the clamorous we take our station; | 11 | ···/˘˘··//˘ |
| A host of Ribbon Men--yet is there not | 10 | ···/˘····· |
| One piece of Irish in our agitation. | 11 | ···/˘·/·˘/˘ |
| We do revere Her Majesty the Queen, | 10 | ··˘/·/˘˘·· |
| We venerate our Glorious Constitution; | 11 | ·/˘·//˘·˘/˘ |
| We joy King William's advent should have been, | 10 | ···/˘/···· |
| And only want a Counter Revolution. | 11 | ·/˘··/˘·˘/˘ |
| 'Tis not Lord Russell and his final measure, | 11 | ···/˘··/˘/˘ |
| 'Tis not Lord Melbourne's counsel to the throne, | 10 | ···/˘/˘··· |
| 'Tis not this Bill, or that, gives us displeasure, | 11 | ········˘/˘ |
| The measures we dislike are all our own. | 10 | ·/˘·˘/··/· |
| The Cash Law the "Great Western" loves to name; | 10 | ·····/˘··· |
| The tone our foreign policy pervading; | 11 | ··//˘/˘˘˘/˘ |
| The Corn Laws--none of these we care to blame, | 10 | ·········· |
| Our evils we refer to over-trading. | 11 | //˘·˘/···/˘ |
| By Tax or Tithe our murmurs are not drawn; | 10 | ····//˘··· |
| We reverence the Church--but hang the cloth! | 10 | ·/˘˘······ |
| We love her ministers--but curse the lawn! | 10 | ···/˘˘···· |
| We have, alas! too much to do with both! | 10 | ··˘/······ |
| We love the sex:--to serve them is a bliss! | 10 | ·········· |
| We trust they find us civil, never surly; | 11 | ·····/˘/˘/˘ |
| All that we hope of female friends is this, | 10 | ·····/···· |
| That their last linen may be wanted early. | 11 | ···/˘··/˘/˘ |
| Ah! who can tell the miseries of men | 10 | ·····/˘˘·· |
| That serve the very cheapest shops in town? | 10 | ···/˘/˘··· |
| Till faint and weary, they leave off at ten, | 10 | ···/˘····· |
| Knock'd up by ladies beating of 'em down! | 10 | ···/˘/˘··· |
| But has not Hamlet his opinion given-- | 11 | ···/˘·˘/˘/˘ |
| O Hamlet had a heart for Drapers' servants! | 11 | ·/˘······/˘ |
| "That custom is"--say custom after seven-- | 11 | ·/˘··/˘··/˘ |
| "More honor'd in the breach than the observance." | 11 | ·/˘·····˘/˘ |
| O come then, gentle ladies, come in time, | 10 | ···/˘/˘··· |
| O'erwhelm our counters, and unload our shelves; | 10 | ··//·˘//˘· |
| Torment us all until the seventh chime, | 10 | ˘/·····/˘· |
| But let us have the remnant to ourselves! | 10 | ·····/˘·˘/ |
| We wish of knowledge to lay in a stock, | 10 | ···/˘····· |
| And not remain in ignorance incurable;-- | 11 | ··˘/·/˘˘/˘˘ |
| To study Shakspeare, Milton, Dryden, Locke, | 10 | ·/˘··/˘/˘· |
| And other fabrics that have proved so durable. | 11 | ·/˘/˘····/˘ |
| We long for thoughts of intellectual kind, | 10 | ······˘/˘· |
| And not to go bewilder'd to our beds; | 10 | ····˘/˘·/· |
| With stuff and fustian taking up the mind, | 10 | ···/˘/˘··· |
| And pins and needles running in our heads! | 10 | ···/˘/˘·/· |
| For oh! the brain gets very dull and dry, | 10 | ·····/˘··· |
| Selling from morn till night for cash or credit; | 11 | /˘·······/˘ |
| Or with a vacant face and vacant eye, | 10 | ···/˘··/˘· |
| Watching cheap prints that Knight did never edit. | 11 | /˘·····/˘/˘ |
| Till sick with toil, and lassitude extreme, | 10 | ·····/˘˘˘/ |
| We often think, when we are dull and vapoury, | 12 | ·/˘········· |
| The bliss of Paradise was so supreme, | 10 | ···/˘···˘/ |
| Because that Adam did not deal in drapery. | 11 | ···/˘····/˘ |
The reader shows the same poem with its rhymes coloured and a stress row above each line, the notes beside their stanzas, and any word's definition on a tap; the analysis page takes the whole book apart. How every part of this site was made.