Or, John Jones's Kit-Cat-Astrophe
"He left his body to the sea,And made a shark his legatee."
"Oh! what is that comes gliding in,And quite in middling haste?It is the picture of my Jones,And painted to the waist.
"It is not painted to the life,For where's the trowsers blue?Oh Jones, my dear!--Oh dear! my Jones,What is become of you?"
"Oh! Sally dear, it is too true,--The half that you remarkIs come to say my other halfIs bit off by a shark!
"Oh! Sally, sharks do things by halves,Yet most completely do!A bite in one place soems enough,But I've been bit in two.
"You know I once was all your own,But now a shark must share!But let that pass--for now, to youI'm neither here nor there."
"Alas! death has a strange divorceEffected in the sea,It has divided me from you,And even me from me!
"Don't fear my ghost will walk o' nightsTo haunt, as people say;My ghost can't walk, for, oh! my legsAre many leagues away!
"Lord! think when I am swimming round,And looking where the boat is,A shark just snaps away a half,Without a 'quarter's notice.'
"One half is here, the other halfIs near Columbia placed;Oh! Sally, I have got the wholeAtlantic for my waist.
"But now, adieu--a long adieu!I've solved death's awful riddle,And would say more, but I am doomedTo break off in the middle!"
Words in this poem
- legatee n.
- One to whom a legacy is bequeathed. [See Legacy.]
- middling a.
- Of middle rank, state, size, or quality; about equally distant from the extremes; medium; moderate; mediocre; ordinary.
- ghost n.
- The spirit; the soul of man. [OE. gast, gost, soul, spirit, AS. gast breath, spirit, soul; akin to OS. g spirit, soul, D. geest, G. geist, and prob. to E. gaze, ghastly.]
- columbia n.
- America; the United States; -- a poetical appellation given in honor of Columbus, the discoverer. Dr. T. Dwight.
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
Or, John Jones's Kit-Cat-Astrophe is in the public domain. This text is taken from The Poetical Works of Thomas Hood, Project Gutenberg ebook #15652; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Thomas Hood, Or, John Jones's Kit-Cat-Astrophe, in The Song of the Shirt, and Other Poems (1826–1845), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #15652, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/hood-poetical-works/or-john-jones-s-kit-cat-astrophe.html, id L20161.
Form and metre
Or, John Jones's Kit-Cat-Astrophe is 42 lines in 11 stanzas. The metre is common measure, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 91%).
See other poems in common measure.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 AA seaA · legateeA
- 2 -A-A in · hasteA · jones · waistA
- 3 -A-A life · blueA · jones · youA
- 4 -A-A true · remarkA · half · sharkA
- 5 -A-A halves · doA · enough · twoA
- 6 -A-A own · shareA · you · thereA
- 7 -A-A divorce · seaA · you · meA
- 8 -A-A nights · sayA · legs · awayA
- 10 -A-A half · placedA · whole · waistA
- 11 -A-A adieu · riddleA · doomed · middleA
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against common measure. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| "He left his body to the sea, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| And made a shark his legatee." | 8 | ········ |
| "Oh! what is that comes gliding in, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| And quite in middling haste? | 7 | ···/˘˘· |
| It is the picture of my Jones, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| And painted to the waist. | 6 | ·/˘··· |
| "It is not painted to the life, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| For where's the trowsers blue? | 6 | ···/˘· |
| Oh Jones, my dear!--Oh dear! my Jones, | 8 | ········ |
| What is become of you?" | 6 | ··˘/·· |
| "Oh! Sally dear, it is too true,-- | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| The half that you remark | 6 | ····˘/ |
| Is come to say my other half | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| Is bit off by a shark! | 6 | ······ |
| "Oh! Sally, sharks do things by halves, | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| Yet most completely do! | 6 | ··˘/˘· |
| A bite in one place soems enough, | 8 | ······˘/ |
| But I've been bit in two. | 6 | ······ |
| "You know I once was all your own, | 8 | ········ |
| But now a shark must share! | 6 | ······ |
| But let that pass--for now, to you | 8 | ········ |
| I'm neither here nor there." | 6 | ·/˘··· |
| "Alas! death has a strange divorce | 8 | ˘/····˘/ |
| Effected in the sea, | 6 | ˘/˘··· |
| It has divided me from you, | 8 | ··˘/˘··· |
| And even me from me! | 6 | ·/˘··· |
| "Don't fear my ghost will walk o' nights | 8 | ········ |
| To haunt, as people say; | 6 | ···/˘· |
| My ghost can't walk, for, oh! my legs | 8 | ········ |
| Are many leagues away! | 6 | ·/˘·˘/ |
| "Lord! think when I am swimming round, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| And looking where the boat is, | 7 | ·/˘···· |
| A shark just snaps away a half, | 8 | ····˘/·· |
| Without a 'quarter's notice.' | 7 | ···/˘/˘ |
| "One half is here, the other half | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| Is near Columbia placed; | 7 | ··˘/˘˘· |
| Oh! Sally, I have got the whole | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| Atlantic for my waist. | 6 | ˘/˘··· |
| "But now, adieu--a long adieu! | 8 | ··˘/··˘/ |
| I've solved death's awful riddle, | 7 | ···/˘/˘ |
| And would say more, but I am doomed | 8 | ········ |
| To break off in the middle!" | 7 | ·····/˘ |
The reader shows the same poem with its rhymes coloured and a stress row above each line, the notes beside their stanzas, and any word's definition on a tap; the analysis page takes the whole book apart. How every part of this site was made.