Versified from the Prose of a Young Lady

Thomas Hood (1799–1845) · 1827–1845

iambic tetrameter · 80 lines · from Poems

It’s very hard!--and so it is,To live in such a row,And witness this that every MissBut me, has got a Beau.For Love goes calling up and down,But here he seems to shun;I’m sure he has been asked enoughTo call at Number One!

I’m sick of all the double knocksThat come to Number Four!At Number Three, I often seeA Lover at the door:And one in blue, at Number Two,Calls daily like a dun,--It’s very hard they come so near,And not to Number One!

Miss Bell I hear has got a dearExactly to her mind,By sitting at the window paneWithout a bit of blind;But I go in the balcony,Which she has never done,Yet arts that thrive at Number FiveDon’t take at Number One!

’Tis hard with plenty in the street,And plenty passing by,--There’s nice young men at Number Ten,But only rather shy;And Mrs. Smith across the wayHas got a grown-up son,But la! he hardly seems to knowThere is a Number One!

There’s Mr. Wick at Number Nine,But he’s intent on pelf,And though he’s pious, will not loveHis neighbour as himself.At Number Seven there was a sale--The goods had quite a run!And here I’ve got my single lotOn hand at Number One!

My mother often sits at workAnd talks of props and stays,And what a comfort I shall beIn her declining days.The very maids about the houseHave set me down a nun;The sweethearts all belong to themThat call at Number One!

Once only when the flue took fire,One Friday afternoon,Young Mr. Long came kindly inAnd told me not to swoon:Why can’t he come again withoutThe Phœnix and the Sun!We cannot always have a flueOn fire at Number One!

I am not old! I am not plain!Nor awkward in my gait--I am not crooked, like the brideThat went from Number Eight:I’m sure white satin made her lookAs brown as any bun--But even beauty has no chance,I think, at Number One!

At Number Six they say Miss RoseHas slain a score of hearts,And Cupid, for her sake, has beenQuite prodigal of darts.The Imp they show with bended bow,I wish he had a gun!But if he had, he’d never deignTo shoot with Number One.

It’s very hard, and so it is,To live in such a row!And here’s a ballad singer comeTo aggravate my woe.Oh take away your foolish songAnd tones enough to stun--There is “Nae luck about the house,”I know, at Number One!

Words in this poem

pane n.
The narrow edge of a hammer head. See Peen. [F. panne.]
pelf n.
Money; riches; lucre; gain; -- generally conveying the idea of something ill-gotten or worthless. It has no plural. [OE. pelfir booty, OF. pelfre, akin to pelfrer to plunder, and perh. to E. pillage. Cf. Pilfer.]
neighbour v. i.
To dwell in the vicinity; to be a neighbor, or in the neighborhood; to be near.
props n.
A game of chance, in which four sea shells, each called a prop, are used instead of dice.
shall v. i.
To owe; to be under obligation for. [OE. shal, schal, imp. sholde, scholde, AS. scal, sceal, I am obliged, imp. scolde, sceolde, inf. sculan; akin to OS. skulan, pres. skal, imp. skolda, D. zullen,]
afternoon n.
The part of the day which follows noon, between noon and evening.
went n.
Course; way; path; journey; direction.
cupid
The god of love, son of Venus; usually represented as a naked, winged boy with bow and arrow. [L.Cupido, fr. cupido desire, desire of love, fr. cupidus. See Cupidity.]
deign v. t.
To esteem worthy; to consider worth notice; -- opposed to disdain. [OE. deinen, deignen, OF. degner, deigner, daigner, F. daigner, fr. L. dignari to deem worthy, deign, fr. dignus worthy; akin to decere to be fitting. See Decent]
aggravate v. t.
To make heavy or heavier; to add to; to increase. [L. aggravatus, p. p. of aggravare. See Aggrieve.]

Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.

About this text

Versified from the Prose of a Young Lady is in the public domain. This text is taken from The Comic Poems of Thomas Hood A New and Complete Edition, Project Gutenberg ebook #56712; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.

Cite as: Thomas Hood, Versified from the Prose of a Young Lady, in Poems (1827–1845), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #56712, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/hood-poems/versified-from-the-prose-of-a-young-lady.html, id L06727.

Form and metre

Versified from the Prose of a Young Lady is 80 lines in 10 stanzas of 8 lines each. The metre is iambic tetrameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 94%). 99% of its stressed syllables fall where the metre puts the beat. The lines average 7.0 syllables. 2 lines end on an unstressed syllable, a feminine ending. 31% of the lines run on without a stop at the line end.

See other poems in iambic tetrameter.

Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.

Rhyme words, stanza by stanza

The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.

  1. 1 -A-A-B-B is · rowA · miss · beauA · down · shunB · enough · oneB
  2. 2 -A-A-B-B knocks · fourA · see · doorA · two · dunB · near · oneB
  3. 3 -A-A-B-B dear · mindA · pane · blindA · balcony · doneB · five · oneB
  4. 4 -A-A-B-B street · byA · ten · shyA · way · sonB · know · oneB
  5. 5 -A-A-B-B nine · pelfA · love · himselfA · sale · runB · lot · oneB
  6. 6 -A-A-B-B work · staysA · be · daysA · house · nunB · them · oneB
  7. 7 -AAA-B-B fire · afternoonA · inA · swoonA · without · sunB · flue · oneB
  8. 8 -A-A-B-B plain · gaitA · bride · eightA · look · bunB · chance · oneB
  9. 9 -ABA-B-B rose · heartsA · beenB · dartsA · bow · gunB · deign · oneB
  10. 10 -A-A-B-B is · rowA · come · woeA · song · stunB · house · oneB
Scansion, line by line

Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic tetrameter. How this is done.

LineSyl.Stress
It’s very hard!--and so it is,8·/˘·····
To live in such a row,6······
And witness this that every Miss8·/˘··/˘·
But me, has got a Beau.6······
For Love goes calling up and down,8···/˘···
But here he seems to shun;6······
I’m sure he has been asked enough8······˘/
To call at Number One!6···/˘·
I’m sick of all the double knocks8·····/˘·
That come to Number Four!6···/˘·
At Number Three, I often see8·/˘··/˘·
A Lover at the door:6·/˘···
And one in blue, at Number Two,8·····/˘·
Calls daily like a dun,--6·/˘···
It’s very hard they come so near,8·/˘·····
And not to Number One!6···/˘·
Miss Bell I hear has got a dear8········
Exactly to her mind,6˘/˘···
By sitting at the window pane8·/˘··/˘·
Without a bit of blind;6······
But I go in the balcony,8·····/˘˘
Which she has never done,6···/˘·
Yet arts that thrive at Number Five8·····/˘·
Don’t take at Number One!6···/˘·
’Tis hard with plenty in the street,8···/˘···
And plenty passing by,--6·/˘/˘·
There’s nice young men at Number Ten,8·····/˘·
But only rather shy;6·/˘/˘·
And Mrs. Smith across the way8·/˘·˘/··
Has got a grown-up son,6······
But la! he hardly seems to know8···/˘···
There is a Number One!6···/˘·
There’s Mr. Wick at Number Nine,8·/˘··/˘·
But he’s intent on pelf,6··˘/··
And though he’s pious, will not love8···/˘···
His neighbour as himself.6·/˘·˘/
At Number Seven there was a sale--8·/˘/····
The goods had quite a run!6······
And here I’ve got my single lot8·····/˘·
On hand at Number One!6···/˘·
My mother often sits at work8·/˘/˘···
And talks of props and stays,6······
And what a comfort I shall be8···/˘···
In her declining days.6··˘/˘·
The very maids about the house8·/˘·····
Have set me down a nun;6······
The sweethearts all belong to them8·/··˘/··
That call at Number One!6···/˘·
Once only when the flue took fire,9·/˘····/˘
One Friday afternoon,6·/˘·˘/
Young Mr. Long came kindly in8·/˘··/˘·
And told me not to swoon:6······
Why can’t he come again without8····˘/··
The Phœnix and the Sun!6······
We cannot always have a flue8·/˘/····
On fire at Number One!7·/˘·/˘·
I am not old! I am not plain!8········
Nor awkward in my gait--6·/˘···
I am not crooked, like the bride8···/˘···
That went from Number Eight:6···/˘·
I’m sure white satin made her look8···/˘···
As brown as any bun--6···/˘·
But even beauty has no chance,8·/˘/˘···
I think, at Number One!6···/˘·
At Number Six they say Miss Rose8·/˘·····
Has slain a score of hearts,6······
And Cupid, for her sake, has been8·/˘·····
Quite prodigal of darts.6·/˘˘··
The Imp they show with bended bow,8·····/˘·
I wish he had a gun!6······
But if he had, he’d never deign8·····/˘·
To shoot with Number One.6···/˘·
It’s very hard, and so it is,8·/˘·····
To live in such a row!6······
And here’s a ballad singer come8···/˘/˘·
To aggravate my woe.6·/˘···
Oh take away your foolish song8··˘/·/˘·
And tones enough to stun--6··˘/··
There is “Nae luck about the house,”8········
I know, at Number One!6···/˘·

The reader shows the same poem with its rhymes coloured and a stress row above each line, the notes beside their stanzas, and any word's definition on a tap; the analysis page takes the whole book apart. How every part of this site was made.

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