Metaphysics
Why and Wherefore set one dayTo hunt for a wild Negation.They agreed to meet at a cool retreatOn the Point of Interrogation.
But the night was dark and they missed their mark,And, driven well-nigh to distraction,They lost their ways in a murky mazeOf utter abstruse abstraction.
Then they took a boat and were soon afloatOn a sea of Speculation,But the sea grew rough, and their boat, though tough,Was split into an Equation.
As they floundered about in the waves of doubtRose a fearful Hypothesis,Who gibbered with glee as they sank in the sea,And the last they saw was this:
On a rock-bound reef of UnbeliefThere sat the wild Negation;Then they sank once more and were washed ashoreAt the Point of Interrogation.
In a very lonely tower,So the legend goes to tell,Pines a Princess in the powerOf a dreadful Dragon’s spell.
There she sits in silent state,Always watching--always dumb,While the Dragon at the gateEats her suitors as they come--
King and Prince of every nationPoet, Page, and Troubadour,Of whatever rank or station--Eats them up and waits for more.
Every Knight that hears the legendThinks he’ll see what he can do,Gives his sword a lovely edge, and--Like the rest is eaten too!
All of which is very pretty,And romantic, too, forsooth;But, somehow, it seems a pityThat they should n’t know the truth.
If they only knew that reallyThere is no Princess to gain--That she’s an invention merelyOf the crafty Dragon’s brain.
Once it chanced he’d missed his dinnerFor perhaps a day or two;Felt that he was getting thinner,Wondered what he’d better do.
Then it was that he bethought himHow in this romantic age(Reading fairy tales had taught him)Rescuing ladies was the rage.
So a lonely tower he rented,For a trifling sum per year,And this thrilling tale invented,Which was carried far and near;
Far and near throughout the nations,And the Dragon ever since,Has relied for daily rations,On some jolly Knight or Prince.
And while his romantic fictionTo a chivalrous age appeals,It’s a very safe prediction:He will never want for meals.
Words in this poem
- wherefore adv.
- For which reason; so; -- used relatively. [Where + for.]
- distraction n.
- The act of distracting; a drawing apart; separation. [L. distractio: cf. F. distraction.]
- maze n.
- A wild fancy; a confused notion. [OE. mase; cf. OE. masen to confuse, puzzle, Norweg. masast to fall into a slumber, masa to be continually busy, prate, chatter, Icel. masa to chatter, dial. Sw.]
- abstruse a.
- Concealed or hidden out of the way. [L. abstrusus, p. p. of abstrudere to thrust away, conceal; ab, abs + trudere to thrust; cf. F. abstrus. See Threat.]
- afloat adv.
- Borne on the water; floating; on board ship. [Pref. a- + float.]
- speculation n.
- The act of speculating. Specifically: -- (a) Examination by the eye; view. [L. speculatio a spying out, observation: cf. F. spéculation.]
- glee n.
- Music; minstrelsy; entertainment.
- unbelief n.
- The withholding of belief; doubt; incredulity; skepticism. [Pref. un- not + belief: cf. AS. ungeleáfa.]
- princess n.
- A female prince; a woman having sovereign power, or the rank of a prince. [F. princesse. See Prince, and cf. Princesse.]
- dreadful a.
- Full of dread or terror; fearful.
- forsooth v. t.
- To address respectfully with the term forsooth.
- somehow adv.
- In one way or another; in some way not yet known or designated; by some means; as, the thing must be done somehow; he lives somehow.
- wondered a.
- Having performed wonders; able to perform wonderful things.
- thrilling a.
- Causing a thrill; causing tremulous excitement; deeply moving; as, a thrilling romance.
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
Metaphysics is in the public domain. This text is taken from The Bashful Earthquake, & Other Fables and Verses, Project Gutenberg ebook #56765; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Oliver Herford, Metaphysics, in The Bashful Earthquake, and Other Fables and Verses (1898), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #56765, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/herford-bashful-earthquake/metaphysics.html, id L22122.
Form and metre
Metaphysics is 64 lines in 16 stanzas of 4 lines each. The rhyme scheme is ABAB, complete in 8 of its 16 stanzas. The metre is trochaic tetrameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 87%).
See other poems in trochaic tetrameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 -A-A day · negationA · retreat · interrogationA
- 2 -A-A mark · distractionA · maze · abstractionA
- 4 -A-A doubt · hypothesisA · sea · thisA
- 5 -A-A unbelief · negationA · ashore · interrogationA
- 6 ABAB towerA · tellB · powerA · spellB
- 7 ABAB stateA · dumbB · gateA · comeB
- 8 ABAB nationA · troubadourB · stationA · moreB
- 9 -A-A legend · doA · and · tooA
- 10 ABAB prettyA · forsoothB · pityA · truthB
- 11 -A-A really · gainA · merely · brainA
- 12 ABAB dinnerA · twoB · thinnerA · doB
- 13 ABAB himA · ageB · himA · rageB
- 14 ABAB rentedA · yearB · inventedA · nearB
- 15 -A-A nations · sinceA · rations · princeA
- 16 ABAB fictionA · appealsB · predictionA · mealsB
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against trochaic tetrameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| Why and Wherefore set one day | 7 | ··/˘··· |
| To hunt for a wild Negation. | 8 | ·····˘/˘ |
| They agreed to meet at a cool retreat | 10 | ·˘/·····˘/ |
| On the Point of Interrogation. | 9 | ····˘·˘/˘ |
| But the night was dark and they missed their mark, | 10 | ·········· |
| And, driven well-nigh to distraction, | 9 | ·/˘···˘/˘ |
| They lost their ways in a murky maze | 9 | ······/˘· |
| Of utter abstruse abstraction. | 8 | ·/˘˘/˘/˘ |
| Then they took a boat and were soon afloat | 10 | ········˘/ |
| On a sea of Speculation, | 8 | ·····˘/˘ |
| But the sea grew rough, and their boat, though tough, | 10 | ·········· |
| Was split into an Equation. | 8 | ·····˘/˘ |
| As they floundered about in the waves of doubt | 10 | ··/······· |
| Rose a fearful Hypothesis, | 8 | ··/˘˘/˘˘ |
| Who gibbered with glee as they sank in the sea, | 11 | ··········· |
| And the last they saw was this: | 7 | ······· |
| On a rock-bound reef of Unbelief | 9 | ········· |
| There sat the wild Negation; | 7 | ····˘/˘ |
| Then they sank once more and were washed ashore | 10 | ········˘/ |
| At the Point of Interrogation. | 9 | ····˘·˘/˘ |
| In a very lonely tower, | 8 | ··/˘/˘/˘ |
| So the legend goes to tell, | 7 | ··/˘··· |
| Pines a Princess in the power | 8 | ··/˘··/˘ |
| Of a dreadful Dragon’s spell. | 7 | ··/˘/˘· |
| There she sits in silent state, | 7 | ····/˘· |
| Always watching--always dumb, | 7 | /·/˘/·· |
| While the Dragon at the gate | 7 | ··/˘··· |
| Eats her suitors as they come-- | 7 | ··/˘··· |
| King and Prince of every nation | 9 | ····/˘˘/˘ |
| Poet, Page, and Troubadour, | 7 | /˘··/˘· |
| Of whatever rank or station-- | 8 | ··/˘··/˘ |
| Eats them up and waits for more. | 7 | ······· |
| Every Knight that hears the legend | 9 | /˘˘····/˘ |
| Thinks he’ll see what he can do, | 7 | ······· |
| Gives his sword a lovely edge, and-- | 8 | ····/˘·· |
| Like the rest is eaten too! | 7 | ····/˘· |
| All of which is very pretty, | 8 | ····/˘/˘ |
| And romantic, too, forsooth; | 7 | ·˘/˘·˘/ |
| But, somehow, it seems a pity | 8 | ·/····/˘ |
| That they should n’t know the truth. | 7 | ······· |
| If they only knew that really | 8 | ··/˘··/˘ |
| There is no Princess to gain-- | 7 | ···/˘·· |
| That she’s an invention merely | 8 | ···˘/˘/˘ |
| Of the crafty Dragon’s brain. | 7 | ··/˘/˘· |
| Once it chanced he’d missed his dinner | 8 | ······/˘ |
| For perhaps a day or two; | 7 | ·˘/···· |
| Felt that he was getting thinner, | 8 | ····/˘/˘ |
| Wondered what he’d better do. | 8 | /˘˘··/˘· |
| Then it was that he bethought him | 8 | ·····˘/· |
| How in this romantic age | 7 | ···˘/˘· |
| (Reading fairy tales had taught him) | 8 | /˘/˘···· |
| Rescuing ladies was the rage. | 8 | /˘˘/˘··· |
| So a lonely tower he rented, | 9 | ··/˘/˘·/˘ |
| For a trifling sum per year, | 7 | ··/˘··· |
| And this thrilling tale invented, | 8 | ··/˘·˘/˘ |
| Which was carried far and near; | 7 | ··/˘··· |
| Far and near throughout the nations, | 8 | ······/˘ |
| And the Dragon ever since, | 7 | ··/˘/˘· |
| Has relied for daily rations, | 8 | ·˘/·/˘/˘ |
| On some jolly Knight or Prince. | 7 | ··/˘··· |
| And while his romantic fiction | 8 | ···˘/˘/˘ |
| To a chivalrous age appeals, | 8 | ··/˘˘·˘/ |
| It’s a very safe prediction: | 8 | ··/˘·˘/˘ |
| He will never want for meals. | 7 | ··/˘··· |
The reader shows the same poem with its rhymes coloured and a stress row above each line, the notes beside their stanzas, and any word's definition on a tap; the analysis page takes the whole book apart. How every part of this site was made.