Killing Time

The air was full of shouts and cries,Of shrill “Ha-ha’s,” and “Ho’s,” and “Hi’s,”And every kind of whistle,And the sky was dark with flying things--Golf-sticks, balls, engagement-rings,Novels, rackets, and billiard-cues,Cameras, fishing-rods, and shoes,And every sort of missile.

The ground was black with a seething massOf people of every kind and class--Matrons, men, and misses,Ladies and gentlemen, old and new,Lads and lasses, and children too,Elderly men with elderly wives--Hustling and bustling for their lives.“I wonder what all this is?”

Said I: “I fear that it may beAnother case for the S. P. C.’T will bear investigation.”I dropped my book and joined the race,And struggling into the foremost place,Behold, the object of the chaseWas an aged man with wrinkled face!I was filled with indignation.

His frame was bent and his knees aknock,His head was bald but for one lock,And I cried with anger thrilling,“This thing must stop; ’t is a disgraceAn aged gentleman to chase.”Then everybody laughed in my face.“This,” they cried, “is a different case;It’s only ‘Time’ we’re killing.”

Then it was I observed two thingsThat grew from his shoulders--two big wings!And I joined in the people’s laughter.Tho’ killing is often out of place,A circumstance may alter a case.So I took my pad and pencil-case,And for want of a missile, in its placeI tossed these verses after.

| The Mermaid Culture Club request || That you will kindly be || On such and such a day their guest || At something after three. |

I wrote at once that “I should beMost charmed,” and donn’d my bestDress diving-suit,--a joy to see,--And at their club-house ’neath the seaArrived at “something after three”Promptly (unpunctualityIs something I detest).The President, a mermaid fair,Sat by a coral table,And read an essay with an airIntelligent and ableUpon--but you will never guessThe subject--it was nothing lessThan sunshades and umbrellas.I really did my very bestTo keep from laughing--as their guest.That it was hard must be confessedWhen next the meeting was addressedOn shoes, and which would wear the best--Tan slippers or prunellas.Then came (it did look like a joke)Essays on bonnet, hat, and toque:Said I, “They must be mocking.”And when at length a mermaid rose,And read a thesis to exposeThe latest novelty in hose,I felt my reason rocking.But when at last the thing was o’er,And I was back again on shore,I fell to moralizing.And as remembrance came to meOf other clubs not in the sea,Of essays read by ladies fairUpon the “why” and “whence” and “where,”Said I, “It’s not surprising.”