Holland
This country is extremely flat,Just like your father's head, and wereIt not for dykes and things like thatThere would not be much country there,For, if these banks should broken be,What now is land would soon be sea.
So, any child who glory seeks,And in a dyke observes a hole,Must hold his finger there for weeks,And keep the water from its goal,Until the local plumbers come,Or other persons who can plumb.
The Hollanders have somehow gotThe name of Dutch (why, goodness knows!),But Mrs. Hollander is notA 'duchess' as you might suppose;Mynheer Von Vanderpump is muchMore used to style her his 'Old Dutch.'
Their cities' names are somewhat odd,But much in vogue with golfing menWho miss a 'put' or slice a sod,(Whose thoughts I would not dare to pen),'Oh, Rotterdam!' they can exclaim,And blamelessly resume the game.
The Dutchman's dress is very neat;He minds his little flock of goatsIn cotton blouse, and on his feetHe dons a pair of wooden boats.(He evidently does not trustThose dykes I mentioned not to bust).
He has the reputation tooOf being what is known as 'slim,'Which merely means he does to youWhat you had hoped to do to him;He has a business head, that's all,And takes some beating, does Oom Paul.
Words in this poem
- somehow adv.
- In one way or another; in some way not yet known or designated; by some means; as, the thing must be done somehow; he lives somehow.
- hollander n.
- A native or one of the people of Holland; a Dutchman.
- mynheer n.
- The Dutch equivalent of Mr. or Sir; hence, a Dutchman. [D. mijnheer.]
- vogue n.
- The way or fashion of people at any particular time; temporary mode, custom, or practice; popular reception for the time; -- used now generally in the phrase in vogue. [F. vogue a rowing, vogue, fashion, It. voga, fr. vogare to row, to sail; probably fr. OHG. wag to move, akin to E. way. Cf. Way.]
- blamelessly adv.
- In a blameless manner.
- resume n.
- A summing up; a condensed statement; an abridgment or brief recapitulation. [F. See Resume.]
- blouse n.
- A light, loose over-garment, like a smock frock, worn especially by workingmen in France; also, a loose coat of any material, as the undress uniform coat of the United States army. [F. blouse. Of unknown origin.]
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
Holland is in the public domain. This text is taken from Verse and Worse, Project Gutenberg ebook #36702; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Harry Graham, Holland, in Verse and Worse (1905), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #36702, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/graham-verse-and-worse/holland.html, id L23303.
Form and metre
Holland is 36 lines in 6 stanzas of 6 lines each. The rhyme scheme is ABABCC, complete in 5 of its 6 stanzas. The metre is iambic tetrameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 91%).
See other poems in iambic tetrameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 A-A-BB flatA · were · thatA · there · beB · seaB
- 2 ABABCC seeksA · holeB · weeksA · goalB · comeC · plumbC
- 3 ABABCC gotA · knowsB · notA · supposeB · muchC · dutchC
- 4 ABABCC oddA · menB · sodA · penB · exclaimC · gameC
- 5 ABABCC neatA · goatsB · feetA · boatsB · trustC · bustC
- 6 ABABCC tooA · slimB · youA · himB · allC · paulC
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic tetrameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| This country is extremely flat, | 8 | ·/˘·˘/˘· |
| Just like your father's head, and were | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| It not for dykes and things like that | 8 | ········ |
| There would not be much country there, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| For, if these banks should broken be, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| What now is land would soon be sea. | 8 | ········ |
| So, any child who glory seeks, | 8 | ·/˘··/˘· |
| And in a dyke observes a hole, | 8 | ····˘/·· |
| Must hold his finger there for weeks, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| And keep the water from its goal, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| Until the local plumbers come, | 8 | ···/˘/˘· |
| Or other persons who can plumb. | 8 | ·/˘/˘··· |
| The Hollanders have somehow got | 8 | ·/˘˘·/·· |
| The name of Dutch (why, goodness knows!), | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| But Mrs. Hollander is not | 8 | ·/˘/˘˘·· |
| A 'duchess' as you might suppose; | 8 | ·/˘···˘/ |
| Mynheer Von Vanderpump is much | 8 | ˘/······ |
| More used to style her his 'Old Dutch.' | 8 | ········ |
| Their cities' names are somewhat odd, | 8 | ·/˘··//· |
| But much in vogue with golfing men | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| Who miss a 'put' or slice a sod, | 8 | ········ |
| (Whose thoughts I would not dare to pen), | 8 | ········ |
| 'Oh, Rotterdam!' they can exclaim, | 8 | ·/˘···˘/ |
| And blamelessly resume the game. | 8 | ·/˘˘˘/·· |
| The Dutchman's dress is very neat; | 8 | ·/˘··/˘· |
| He minds his little flock of goats | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| In cotton blouse, and on his feet | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| He dons a pair of wooden boats. | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| (He evidently does not trust | 8 | ·/˘˘˘··· |
| Those dykes I mentioned not to bust). | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| He has the reputation too | 8 | ····˘/˘· |
| Of being what is known as 'slim,' | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| Which merely means he does to you | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| What you had hoped to do to him; | 8 | ········ |
| He has a business head, that's all, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| And takes some beating, does Oom Paul. | 8 | ···/˘··· |
The reader shows the same poem with its rhymes coloured and a stress row above each line, the notes beside their stanzas, and any word's definition on a tap; the analysis page takes the whole book apart. How every part of this site was made.