Bob Polter
BOB POLTER was a navvy, andHis hands were coarse, and dirty too,His homely face was rough and tanned,His time of life was thirty-two.
He lived among a working clan(A wife he hadn’t got at all),A decent, steady, sober man—No saint, however—not at all.
He smoked, but in a modest way,Because he thought he needed it;He drank a pot of beer a day,And sometimes he exceeded it.
At times he’d pass with other menA loud convivial night or two,With, very likely, now and then,On Saturdays, a fight or two.
But still he was a sober soul,A labour-never-shirking man,Who paid his way—upon the wholeA decent English working man.
One day, when at the Nelson’s Head(For which he may be blamed of you),A holy man appeared, and said,“Oh, ROBERT, I’m ashamed of you.”
He laid his hand on ROBERT’S beerBefore he could drink up any,And on the floor, with sigh and tear,He poured the pot of “thruppenny.”
“Oh, ROBERT, at this very barA truth you’ll be discovering,A good and evil genius areAround your noddle hovering.
“They both are here to bid you shunThe other one’s society,For Total Abstinence is one,The other, Inebriety.”
He waved his hand—a vapour came—A wizard POLTER reckoned him;A bogy rose and called his name,And with his finger beckoned him.
The monster’s salient points to sum,—His heavy breath was portery:His glowing nose suggested rum:His eyes were gin-and-wortery.
His dress was torn—for dregs of aleAnd slops of gin had rusted it;His pimpled face was wan and pale,Where filth had not encrusted it.
“Come, POLTER,” said the fiend, “begin,And keep the bowl a-flowing on—A working man needs pints of ginTo keep his clockwork going on.”
BOB shuddered: “Ah, you’ve made a missIf you take me for one of you:You filthy beast, get out of this—BOB POLTER don’t wan’t none of you.”
The demon gave a drunken shriek,And crept away in stealthiness,And lo! instead, a person sleek,Who seemed to burst with healthiness.
“In me, as your adviser hints,Of Abstinence you’ve got a type—Of MR. TWEEDIE’S pretty printsI am the happy prototype.
“If you abjure the social toast,And pipes, and such frivolities,You possibly some day may boastMy prepossessing qualities!”
BOB rubbed his eyes, and made ’em blink:“You almost make me tremble, you!If I abjure fermented drink,Shall I, indeed, resemble you?
“And will my whiskers curl so tight?My cheeks grow smug and muttony?My face become so red and white?My coat so blue and buttony?
“Will trousers, such as yours, arrayExtremities inferior?Will chubbiness assert its swayAll over my exterior?
“In this, my unenlightened state,To work in heavy boots I comes;Will pumps henceforward decorateMy tiddle toddle tootsicums?
“And shall I get so plump and fresh,And look no longer seedily?My skin will henceforth fit my fleshSo tightly and so TWEEDIE-ly?”
The phantom said, “You’ll have all this,You’ll know no kind of huffiness,Your life will be one chubby bliss,One long unruffled puffiness!”
“Be off!” said irritated BOB.“Why come you here to bother one?You pharisaical old snob,You’re wuss almost than t’other one!
“I takes my pipe—I takes my pot,And drunk I’m never seen to be:I’m no teetotaller or sot,And as I am I mean to be!”
Words in this poem 29
- navvy n.
- Originally, a laborer on canals for internal navigation; hence, a laborer on other public works, as in building railroads, embankments, etc. [Eng.] [Abbreviated fr. navigator.]
- homely a.
- Belonging to, or having the characteristics of, home; domestic; familiar; intimate. [From Home, n.]
- drank n.
- Wild oats, or darnel grass. See Drake a plant. [Cf. 3d Drake.]
- noddle n.
- The head; -- used jocosely or contemptuously. [OE. nodil, nodle; perh. fr. nod, because the head is the nodding part of the body, or perh. akin to E. knot; cf. Prov. E. nod the nape of the neck.]
- inebriety n.
- Drunkenness; inebriation. E. Darwin. [See Inebriate, Ebriety.]
- vapour n.
- Any substance in the gaseous, or aëriform, state, the condition of which is ordinarily that of a liquid or solid. [OE. vapour, OF. vapour, vapor, vapeur, F. vapeur, L. vapor; probably for cvapor, and akin to Gr. kvepti to breathe, smell, Russ. kopote fine soot. Cf. Vapid.]
- bogy n.
- A specter; a hobgoblin; a bugbear. [See Bogle.]
- pimpled a.
- Having pimples. Johnson.
- needs adv.
- Of necessity; necessarily; indispensably; -- often with must, and equivalent to of need. [Orig. gen. of need, used as an adverb. Cf. - wards.]
- stealthiness n.
- The state, quality, or character of being stealthy; stealth.
- healthiness n.
- The state of being healthy or healthful; freedom from disease.
- prototype n.
- An original or model after which anything is copied; the pattern of anything to be engraved, or otherwise copied, cast, or the like; a primary form; exemplar; archetype. [F., from L. prototypus original, primitive, Gr. Proto-, and Type]
- abjure v. t.
- To renounce upon oath; to forswear; to disavow; as, to abjure allegiance to a prince. To abjure the realm, is to swear to abandon it forever. [L. abjurare to deny upon oath; ab + jurare to swear, fr. jus, juris, right, law; cf. F. abjurer. See Jury.]
- prepossessing a.
- Tending to invite favor; attracting confidence, favor, esteem, or love; attractive; as, a prepossessing manner.
- blink v. i.
- To wink; to twinkle with, or as with, the eye. [OE. blenken; akin to dan. blinke, Sw. blinka, G. blinken to shine, glance, wink, twinkle, D. blinken to shine; and prob. to D. blikken to glance, twinkle, G. bl]
- shall v. i.
- To owe; to be under obligation for. [OE. shal, schal, imp. sholde, scholde, AS. scal, sceal, I am obliged, imp. scolde, sceolde, inf. sculan; akin to OS. skulan, pres. skal, imp. skolda, D. zullen,]
- smug v. t.
- To make smug, or spruce.
- muttony a.
- Like mutton; having a flavor of mutton.
- buttony a.
- Ornamented with a large number of buttons.
- henceforward adv.
- From this time forward; henceforth.
- tiddle v. t.
- To use with tenderness; to fondle. [Cf. AS. tyderian to grow tender. See Tid.]
- toddle v. i.
- To walk with short, tottering steps, as a child. [Akin to tottle, totter.]
- henceforth adv.
- From this time forward; henceforward.
- huffiness n.
- The state of being huffish; petulance; bad temper. Ld. Lytton.
- chubby a.
- Like a chub; plump, short, and thick.
- unruffled a.
- Not ruffled or agitated; smooth; calm; tranquil; quiet. [Pref. un- not + ruffled.]
- puffiness n.
- The quality or state of being puffy.
- pharisaical a.
- Of or pertaining to the Pharisees; resembling the Pharisees. [L. Pharisaicus, Gr. pharisaïque. See Pharisee.]
- snob n.
- A vulgar person who affects to be better, richer, or more fashionable, than he really is; a vulgar upstart; one who apes his superiors. Thackeray. [Icel. snapr a dolt, impostor, charlatan. Cf. Snub.]
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
Bob Polter is in the public domain. This text is taken from The Bab Ballads, Project Gutenberg ebook #931; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: W. S. Gilbert, Bob Polter, in The Bab Ballads (1869), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #931, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/gilbert-bab-ballads/bob-polter.html, id L02399.
Form and metre
Bob Polter is 100 lines in 25 stanzas of 4 lines each. The rhyme scheme is ABAB, complete in 23 of its 25 stanzas. The metre is iambic tetrameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 90%). 95% of its stressed syllables fall where the metre puts the beat. The lines average 8.0 syllables. 13 lines end on an unstressed syllable, a feminine ending. 18% of the lines run on without a stop at the line end.
See other poems in iambic tetrameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 ABAB andA · tooB · tannedA · twoB
- 2 ABAB clanA · allB · manA · allB
- 3 ABAB wayA · itB · dayA · itB
- 4 ABAB menA · twoB · thenA · twoB
- 5 ABAB soulA · manB · wholeA · manB
- 6 ABAB headA · youB · saidA · youB
- 7 ABAB beerA · anyB · tearA · thruppennyB
- 8 ABAB barA · discoveringB · areA · hoveringB
- 9 ABAB shunA · societyB · oneA · inebrietyB
- 10 ABAB cameA · himB · nameA · himB
- 11 ABAB sumA · porteryB · rumA · worteryB
- 12 ABAB aleA · itB · paleA · itB
- 13 ABAB beginA · onB · ginA · onB
- 14 ABAB missA · youB · thisA · youB
- 15 ABAB shriekA · stealthinessB · sleekA · healthinessB
- 16 ABAB hintsA · typeB · printsA · prototypeB
- 17 ABAB toastA · frivolitiesB · boastA · qualitiesB
- 18 ABAB blinkA · youB · drinkA · youB
- 19 ABAB tightA · muttonyB · whiteA · buttonyB
- 20 ABAB arrayA · inferiorB · swayA · exteriorB
- 21 ABAB stateA · comesB · decorateA · tootsicumsB
- 22 A-A- freshA · seedily · fleshA · ly
- 23 ABAB thisA · huffinessB · blissA · puffinessB
- 24 ABAB bobA · oneB · snobA · oneB
- 25 -A-A pot · beA · sot · beA
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic tetrameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| BOB POLTER was a navvy, and | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| His hands were coarse, and dirty too, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| His homely face was rough and tanned, | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| His time of life was thirty-two. | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| He lived among a working clan | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| (A wife he hadn’t got at all), | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| A decent, steady, sober man— | 8 | ·/˘/˘/˘· |
| No saint, however—not at all. | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| He smoked, but in a modest way, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| Because he thought he needed it; | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| He drank a pot of beer a day, | 8 | ········ |
| And sometimes he exceeded it. | 8 | ·/··˘/˘· |
| At times he’d pass with other men | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| A loud convivial night or two, | 8 | ··˘/˘··· |
| With, very likely, now and then, | 8 | ·/˘/˘··· |
| On Saturdays, a fight or two. | 8 | ·/˘˘···· |
| But still he was a sober soul, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| A labour-never-shirking man, | 8 | ·/·/˘/˘· |
| Who paid his way—upon the whole | 8 | ········ |
| A decent English working man. | 8 | ·/˘/˘/˘· |
| One day, when at the Nelson’s Head | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| (For which he may be blamed of you), | 8 | ········ |
| A holy man appeared, and said, | 8 | ·/˘·˘/·· |
| “Oh, ROBERT, I’m ashamed of you.” | 8 | ·/˘·˘/·· |
| He laid his hand on ROBERT’S beer | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| Before he could drink up any, | 8 | ······/˘ |
| And on the floor, with sigh and tear, | 8 | ········ |
| He poured the pot of “thruppenny.” | 8 | ········ |
| “Oh, ROBERT, at this very bar | 8 | ·/˘··/˘· |
| A truth you’ll be discovering, | 8 | ····˘/˘˘ |
| A good and evil genius are | 8 | ···/˘/˘· |
| Around your noddle hovering. | 8 | ···/˘/˘˘ |
| “They both are here to bid you shun | 8 | ········ |
| The other one’s society, | 8 | ·/˘·˘/˘˘ |
| For Total Abstinence is one, | 8 | ·/˘/˘˘·· |
| The other, Inebriety.” | 7 | ·/˘···· |
| He waved his hand—a vapour came— | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| A wizard POLTER reckoned him; | 8 | ·/˘··/˘· |
| A bogy rose and called his name, | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| And with his finger beckoned him. | 8 | ···/˘/˘· |
| The monster’s salient points to sum,— | 8 | ·/˘/˘··· |
| His heavy breath was portery: | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| His glowing nose suggested rum: | 8 | ·/˘·˘/˘· |
| His eyes were gin-and-wortery. | 8 | ········ |
| His dress was torn—for dregs of ale | 8 | ········ |
| And slops of gin had rusted it; | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| His pimpled face was wan and pale, | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| Where filth had not encrusted it. | 8 | ····˘/˘· |
| “Come, POLTER,” said the fiend, “begin, | 8 | ······˘/ |
| And keep the bowl a-flowing on— | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| A working man needs pints of gin | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| To keep his clockwork going on.” | 8 | ···/·/˘· |
| BOB shuddered: “Ah, you’ve made a miss | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| If you take me for one of you: | 8 | ········ |
| You filthy beast, get out of this— | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| BOB POLTER don’t wan’t none of you.” | 8 | ········ |
| The demon gave a drunken shriek, | 8 | ·/˘··/˘· |
| And crept away in stealthiness, | 8 | ··˘/·/˘˘ |
| And lo! instead, a person sleek, | 8 | ··˘/·/˘· |
| Who seemed to burst with healthiness. | 8 | ·····/˘˘ |
| “In me, as your adviser hints, | 8 | ····˘/˘· |
| Of Abstinence you’ve got a type— | 8 | ·/˘˘···· |
| Of MR. TWEEDIE’S pretty prints | 8 | ·/˘/˘/˘· |
| I am the happy prototype. | 8 | ···/˘/˘· |
| “If you abjure the social toast, | 8 | ··˘/·/˘· |
| And pipes, and such frivolities, | 8 | ····˘/˘˘ |
| You possibly some day may boast | 8 | ·/˘˘···· |
| My prepossessing qualities!” | 8 | ·····/˘˘ |
| BOB rubbed his eyes, and made ’em blink: | 8 | ········ |
| “You almost make me tremble, you! | 8 | ·/···/˘· |
| If I abjure fermented drink, | 8 | ··˘/˘/˘· |
| Shall I, indeed, resemble you? | 8 | ··˘/˘/˘· |
| “And will my whiskers curl so tight? | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| My cheeks grow smug and muttony? | 8 | ·····/˘˘ |
| My face become so red and white? | 8 | ··˘/···· |
| My coat so blue and buttony? | 8 | ·····/˘˘ |
| “Will trousers, such as yours, array | 8 | ·/˘···˘/ |
| Extremities inferior? | 8 | ˘/˘˘˘/˘˘ |
| Will chubbiness assert its sway | 8 | ····˘/·· |
| All over my exterior? | 8 | ····˘/˘˘ |
| “In this, my unenlightened state, | 8 | ····˘/˘· |
| To work in heavy boots I comes; | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| Will pumps henceforward decorate | 9 | ······/˘· |
| My tiddle toddle tootsicums? | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| “And shall I get so plump and fresh, | 8 | ········ |
| And look no longer seedily? | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| My skin will henceforth fit my flesh | 8 | ···//··· |
| So tightly and so TWEEDIE-ly?” | 8 | ·/˘··/˘· |
| The phantom said, “You’ll have all this, | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| You’ll know no kind of huffiness, | 7 | ·····/· |
| Your life will be one chubby bliss, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| One long unruffled puffiness!” | 8 | ··˘/˘/˘˘ |
| “Be off!” said irritated BOB. | 8 | ···/˘·˘· |
| “Why come you here to bother one? | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| You pharisaical old snob, | 7 | ······· |
| You’re wuss almost than t’other one! | 9 | ··/··˘/˘· |
| “I takes my pipe—I takes my pot, | 8 | ········ |
| And drunk I’m never seen to be: | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| I’m no teetotaller or sot, | 8 | ········ |
| And as I am I mean to be!” | 8 | ········ |
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