Farmer Downs Changes His Opinion of Nature
"No," said old Farmer Downs to me,"I ain't the facts denyin',That all young folks in love must be,As birds must be a-flyin'.Don't go agin sech facts, becauseI'm one as re-specks Natur's laws.
"No, sir! Old Natur knows a thingOr two, I'm calculatin',She don't make cat-fish dance and sing,Or sparrow-hawks go skatin';She knows her business ev'ry time,You bet your last an' lonely dime!
"I guess, I'm posted pooty fairOn that old gal's capers;She allers acts upon the squareSpite o' skyentific papers.(I borrows one most ev'ry weekFrom Jonses down to "Pincher's Creek.")
"It sorter freshens up a manTo read the newest notions,Tho' I don't freeze much tew that thar plan,About the crops ratotions;You jest leave Natur do her work,She'll do it! she ain't one tew shirk!
"I'm all fur lettin Natur goThe way she's sot on choosin'.Ain't that the figger of a beauThat's talkin' thar tew Susan?Down by the orchard snake-fence? Yes.All right, it's Squire Sims, I guess.
"He's jest the one I want tew seeCome sparkin'; guess they're lyin',That say that of old age he beMost sartinly a-dyin'--He's no sech thing! Good sakes alive,The man is only seventy-five!
"An' she's sixteen. I'm not the manTew act sort of inhuman,An' meanly spile old Natur's planTo jine a man and womanIn wedlock's bonds. Sirree, she makes,This grand old Natur, no mistakes.
"They're standin' pooty clus; the leavesIs round 'em like a bower,The Squire's like the yaller sheavesAn' she's the Corn Flower,Natur's the binder, allus true,Tew make one heart of them thar two.
"Yas--as I was a-sayin', friend,I'm all for Natur's teachins;She ain't one in the bitter endTew practice over-reachins.You trust her, and she'll treat you well,Don't doubt her by the leastest spell.
"I'm not quite clar but subsoil looksJest kinder not quite pious;I sorter think them farmin' books,Will in the long run sky us,Right in the mud; the way they balkOld Natur with thar darn fool talk!
"When Susie marries Squire Sims,I'll lease his upland farm;I'll get it cheap enough from him--Jest see his long right armAbout her waist--looks orful big!Why, gosh! he's bought a new brown wig!
"Wal, that's the way old Natur actsWhen bald folks go a-sparkin';The skyentists can't alter factsWith all their hard work larkin',A sparkin man will look his best--That's Natur--tain't no silly jest!
"Old Natur, you and me is twins;I never will git snarlyWith you, old gal. Why, darn my shins!That's only Jonses Charlie.She's cuddlin' right agin his vest!Eh? What? "Old Natur knows what's best!"
"Oh, does she? Wal, p'raps 'tis so;Jest see the rascal's armAbout her waist! You've got tew goYoung man, right off this farm;Old Natur knows a pile, no doubt,But you an' her hed best get out!
"You, Susie, git right hum. I'm madEs enny bilin' crater!In futur, sick or well or sadI'll take no stock in Natur.I'm that disgusted with her capersI'll run the farm by skyence papers."
Words in this poem
- folks n.
- In Anglo-Saxon times, the people of a group of townships or villages; a community; a tribe. [AS. folc; akin to D. volk, OS. & OHG. folk, G. volk, Icel. f, Sw. & Dan. folk, Lith. pulkas crowd, and perh. to E. follow.]
- dime n.
- A silver coin of the United States, of the value of ten cents; the tenth of a dollar. Dime novel, a novel, commonly sensational and trashy, which is sold for a dime, or ten cents. [F. dîme tithe, OF. disme, fr. L. decimus the tenth, fr. decem ten. See Decimal.]
- sorter n.
- One who, or that which, sorts.
- thar v.
- It needs; need. Piers Plowman. [OE. thar, Þarf, AS. Þearf, infin. Þurfan to need; akin to OHG. durfan, G. dürfen to be allowed, Icel. Þurfa to need, Goth. Þaúrban.]
- jest n.
- A deed; an action; a gest. [OE. jeste, geste, deed, action, story, tale, OF. geste, LL. gesta, orig., exploits, neut. pl. from L. gestus, p. p. of gerere to bear, carry, accomplish, perfor]
- spile n.
- A small plug or wooden pin, used to stop a vent, as in a cask. [Cf. LG. spile, dial. G. speil, speiler, D. spijl. *170.]
- binder n.
- One who binds; as, a binder of sheaves; one whose trade is to bind; as, a binder of books.
- darn v. t.
- To mend as a rent or hole, with interlacing stitches of yarn or thread by means of a needle; to sew together with yarn or thread. [OE. derne, prob. of Celtic origin; cf. W. darnio to piece, break in pieces, W. & Arm. to E. tear. Cf. Tear, v. t.]
- charlie n.
- A familiar nickname or substitute for Charles.
- vest n.
- An article of clothing covering the person; an outer garment; a vestment; a dress; a vesture; a robe. [L. vestis a garment, vesture; akin to Goth. wasti, and E. wear: cf. F. veste. See Wear to carry on the person, and cf. Divest, Invest, Travesty.]
- crater n.
- The basinlike opening or mouth of a volcano, through which the chief eruption comes; similarly, the mouth of a gevser, about which a cone of silica is often built up. [L. crater, cratera, a mixing vessel, the mouth of a volcano, Gr. ir to cook, Crail, in Holy Grail.]
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
Farmer Downs Changes His Opinion of Nature is in the public domain. This text is taken from Old Spookses' Pass, Malcolm's Katie, and other poems, Project Gutenberg ebook #6815; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Isabella Valancy Crawford, Farmer Downs Changes His Opinion of Nature, in Old Spookses' Pass, Malcolm's Katie and Other Poems (1884), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #6815, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/crawford-poems/farmer-downs-changes-his-opinion-of-nature.html, id L11162.
Form and metre
Farmer Downs Changes His Opinion of Nature is 90 lines in 15 stanzas of 6 lines each. The rhyme scheme is ABABCC, complete in 12 of its 15 stanzas. The metre is iambic tetrameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 88%). 100% of its stressed syllables fall where the metre puts the beat. The lines average 7.5 syllables. 14 lines end on an unstressed syllable, a feminine ending. 30% of the lines run on without a stop at the line end.
See other poems in iambic tetrameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 ABABCC meA · denyinB · beA · flyinB · becauseC · lawsC
- 2 ABABCC thingA · calculatinB · singA · skatinB · timeC · dimeC
- 3 ABABCC fairA · capersB · squareA · papersB · weekC · creekC
- 4 ABABCC manA · notionsB · planA · ratotionsB · workC · shirkC
- 5 A-A-BB goA · choosin · beauA · susan · yesB · guessB
- 6 ABABCC seeA · lyinB · beA · dyinB · aliveC · fiveC
- 7 AAAABB manA · inhumanA · planA · womanA · makesB · mistakesB
- 8 ABABCC leavesA · bowerB · sheavesA · flowerB · trueC · twoC
- 9 ABABCC friendA · teachinsB · endA · reachinsB · wellC · spellC
- 10 ABABCC looksA · piousB · booksA · usB · balkC · talkC
- 11 -A-ABB sims · farmA · him · armA · bigB · wigB
- 12 ABABCC actsA · sparkinB · factsA · larkinB · bestC · jestC
- 13 ABABCC twinsA · snarlyB · shinsA · charlieB · vestC · bestC
- 14 ABABCC soA · armB · goA · farmB · doubtC · outC
- 15 ABABCC madA · craterB · sadA · naturB · capersC · papersC
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic tetrameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| "No," said old Farmer Downs to me, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| "I ain't the facts denyin', | 6 | ······ |
| That all young folks in love must be, | 8 | ········ |
| As birds must be a-flyin'. | 6 | ······ |
| Don't go agin sech facts, because | 8 | ··˘/···· |
| I'm one as re-specks Natur's laws. | 8 | ········ |
| "No, sir! Old Natur knows a thing | 8 | ········ |
| Or two, I'm calculatin', | 7 | ······· |
| She don't make cat-fish dance and sing, | 8 | ········ |
| Or sparrow-hawks go skatin'; | 7 | ·/˘···· |
| She knows her business ev'ry time, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| You bet your last an' lonely dime! | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| "I guess, I'm posted pooty fair | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| On that old gal's capers; | 6 | ····/˘ |
| She allers acts upon the square | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| Spite o' skyentific papers. | 7 | ·····/˘ |
| (I borrows one most ev'ry week | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| From Jonses down to "Pincher's Creek.") | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| "It sorter freshens up a man | 8 | ·/˘/˘··· |
| To read the newest notions, | 7 | ···/˘/˘ |
| Tho' I don't freeze much tew that thar plan, | 9 | ········· |
| About the crops ratotions; | 7 | ······· |
| You jest leave Natur do her work, | 8 | ········ |
| She'll do it! she ain't one tew shirk! | 8 | ········ |
| "I'm all fur lettin Natur go | 8 | ········ |
| The way she's sot on choosin'. | 7 | ······· |
| Ain't that the figger of a beau | 8 | ········ |
| That's talkin' thar tew Susan? | 7 | ·/˘··/˘ |
| Down by the orchard snake-fence? Yes. | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| All right, it's Squire Sims, I guess. | 7 | ······· |
| "He's jest the one I want tew see | 8 | ········ |
| Come sparkin'; guess they're lyin', | 6 | ······ |
| That say that of old age he be | 8 | ········ |
| Most sartinly a-dyin'-- | 6 | ······ |
| He's no sech thing! Good sakes alive, | 8 | ······˘/ |
| The man is only seventy-five! | 8 | ···/˘/˘· |
| "An' she's sixteen. I'm not the man | 8 | ··˘/···· |
| Tew act sort of inhuman, | 7 | ····˘/˘ |
| An' meanly spile old Natur's plan | 9 | ·/˘······ |
| To jine a man and woman | 7 | ·····/˘ |
| In wedlock's bonds. Sirree, she makes, | 8 | ·/······ |
| This grand old Natur, no mistakes. | 8 | ······˘/ |
| "They're standin' pooty clus; the leaves | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| Is round 'em like a bower, | 7 | ·····/˘ |
| The Squire's like the yaller sheaves | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| An' she's the Corn Flower, | 6 | ····/˘ |
| Natur's the binder, allus true, | 8 | ···/˘··· |
| Tew make one heart of them thar two. | 8 | ········ |
| "Yas--as I was a-sayin', friend, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| I'm all for Natur's teachins; | 7 | ······· |
| She ain't one in the bitter end | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| Tew practice over-reachins. | 7 | ·/˘···· |
| You trust her, and she'll treat you well, | 8 | ········ |
| Don't doubt her by the leastest spell. | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| "I'm not quite clar but subsoil looks | 8 | ·····/·· |
| Jest kinder not quite pious; | 7 | ·/˘··/˘ |
| I sorter think them farmin' books, | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| Will in the long run sky us, | 7 | ······· |
| Right in the mud; the way they balk | 8 | ········ |
| Old Natur with thar darn fool talk! | 8 | ········ |
| "When Susie marries Squire Sims, | 7 | ·/˘/˘·· |
| I'll lease his upland farm; | 6 | ···/˘· |
| I'll get it cheap enough from him-- | 8 | ····˘/·· |
| Jest see his long right arm | 6 | ······ |
| About her waist--looks orful big! | 8 | ········ |
| Why, gosh! he's bought a new brown wig! | 8 | ········ |
| "Wal, that's the way old Natur acts | 8 | ········ |
| When bald folks go a-sparkin'; | 7 | ······· |
| The skyentists can't alter facts | 7 | ····/˘· |
| With all their hard work larkin', | 7 | ·····/˘ |
| A sparkin man will look his best-- | 8 | ········ |
| That's Natur--tain't no silly jest! | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| "Old Natur, you and me is twins; | 8 | ········ |
| I never will git snarly | 7 | ·/˘···· |
| With you, old gal. Why, darn my shins! | 8 | ········ |
| That's only Jonses Charlie. | 7 | ·/˘··/˘ |
| She's cuddlin' right agin his vest! | 8 | ····˘/·· |
| Eh? What? "Old Natur knows what's best!" | 8 | ········ |
| "Oh, does she? Wal, p'raps 'tis so; | 7 | ······· |
| Jest see the rascal's arm | 6 | ···/˘· |
| About her waist! You've got tew go | 8 | ········ |
| Young man, right off this farm; | 6 | ······ |
| Old Natur knows a pile, no doubt, | 8 | ········ |
| But you an' her hed best get out! | 8 | ········ |
| "You, Susie, git right hum. I'm mad | 8 | ·/˘····· |
| Es enny bilin' crater! | 7 | ···/˘/˘ |
| In futur, sick or well or sad | 8 | ········ |
| I'll take no stock in Natur. | 7 | ······· |
| I'm that disgusted with her capers | 9 | ··˘/˘··/˘ |
| I'll run the farm by skyence papers." | 8 | ······/˘ |
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