The Self-Tormentor: Act the Third: Scene II

MENE. (to himself). Sure I'm by nature form'd for miseryBeyond the rest of humankind, or else'Tis a false saying, though a common one,"That time assuages grief." For ev'ry dayMy sorrow for the absence of my sonGrows on my mind: the longer he's away,The more impatiently I wish to see him,The more pine after him.

CHREM. But he's come forth. (Seeing MENEDEMUS.)Yonder he stands. I'll go and speak with him.Good-morrow, neighbor! I have news for you;Such news as you'll be overjoy'd to hear.

MENE. Of my son, Chremes?

CHREM. He's alive and well.

CHREM. At my house.

MENE. My dear boy come? my Clinia?

MENE. Away then! prithee, bring me to him.

CHREM. Hold!He cares not you should know of his return,And dreads your sight because of his late trespass.He fears, besides, your old severityIs now augmented.

MENE. Did not you inform himThe bent of my affections?

CHREM. Because 'twould injure both yourself and himTo seem of such a poor and broken spirit.

MENE. I can not help it. Too long, much too long,I've been a cruel father.

CHREM. Ah, my friend,You run into extremes; too niggardly,Or, too profuse; imprudent either way.First, rather than permit him entertainA mistress, who was then content with little,And glad of any thing, you drove him hence:Whereon the girl was forc'd against her will,To grow a common gamester for her bread:And now she can't be kept without much cost,You'd squander thousands. For to let you knowHow admirably madam's train'd to mischief,How finely form'd to ruin her admirers,She came to my house yesternight with moreThan half a score of women at her tail,Laden with clothes and jewels.--If she hadA Prince to her gallant, he could not bearSuch wild extravagance: much less can you.MENE. Is she within too?

CHREM. She within! Aye, truly.I've found it to my cost: for I have givenTo her and her companions but one supper;And to give such another would undo me.For, not to dwell on other circumstances,Merely to taste, and smack, and spirt about.What quantities of wine has she consum'd!This is too rough, she cries; some softer, pray!I have pierc'd every vessel, ev'ry cask;Kept ev'ry servant running to and fro:All this ado, and all in one short night!What, Menedemus, must become of you,Whom they will prey upon continually?Now, afore Heaven, thinking upon this,I pitied you.

MENE. Why let him have his will;Waste, consume, squander; I'll endure it all,So I but have him with me.

CHREM. If resolv'dTo take that course, I hold it of great momentThat he perceive not you allow of this.

MENE. What shall I do then?

CHREM. Any thing much ratherThan what you mean to do: at second-handSupply him; or permit his slave to trick you;Though I perceive they're on that scent already,And privately contriving how to do't.There's Syrus, and that little slave of yoursIn an eternal whisper: the young menConsulting too together: and it wereBetter to lose a talent by these means,Than on your plan a mina: for at presentMoney is not the question, but the meansTo gratify the youth the safest way.For if he once perceives your turn of mind,And that you'd rather hazard life, and wealth,Than part from him; ah, Menedemus, whatA window to debauchery you'll open!Nay, life itself will grow a burden to you;For too much liberty corrupts us all.Whatever comes into his head, he'll have;Nor think if his demand be right or wrong.You, on your part, to see your wealth and sonBoth wreck'd, will not be able to endure.You'll not comply with his demands; whereonHe falls to his old fence immediately,And knowing where your weak part lies, will threatenTo leave you instantly.MENE. 'Tis very like.

CHREM. Now on my life I have not clos'd my eyes,Nor had a single wink of sleep this night,For thinking how I might restore your son.

MENE. Give me your hand: and let me beg you, Chremes,Continue to assist me!

MENE. D'ye know what I would have you do at present?

MENE. Since you have found out they meditateSome practice on me, prithee, urge them onTo execute it quickly: for I longTo grant his wishes, long to see him straight.

CHREM. Let me alone. I must lay hold of Syrus,And give him some encouragement.--But see!Some one, I know not who, comes forth: In, in,Lest they perceive that we consult together!I have a little business too in hand.Simus and Crito, our two neighbors here,Have a dispute about their boundaries;And they've referr'd it to my arbitration,I'll go and tell them, 'tis not in my powerTo wait on them, as I propos'd to-day.I will be with you presently.

MENE. Pray do. (Exit CHREMES.Gods! that the nature of mankind is such,To see and judge of the affairs of othersMuch better than their own! Is't therefore so,Because that, in our own concerns, we feelToo much the influence of joy or sorrow?How much more wisely does my neighbor here,Consult for me, than I do for myself!

CHREM. (returning.) I've disengag'd myself! that I might beAt leisure to attend on your affairs. (Exit MENEDEMUS.

HarperSo I but have him with me.Colman 1768So I but keep him with me.

HarperAnd that you'd rather hazard life, and wealth,Than part from him; ah, Menedemus, whatA window to debauchery you'll open!Nay, life itself will grow a burden to you;Colman 1768That you had rather throw away your life,And waste your whole estate, than part with him,Ah, what a window to debaucheryYou'll open, Menedemus! Such a one,As will embitter even life itself;

HarperToo much the influence of joy or sorrow?Colman 1768