To the Dean of St. Patrick's in Answer to His Left-Handed Letter
Since your poetic prancer is turn'd into Cancer,I'll tell you at once, sir, I'm now not your man, sir;For pray, sir, what pleasure in fighting is foundWith a coward, who studies to traverse his ground?When I drew forth my pen, with your pen you ran back;But I found out the way to your den by its track:From thence the black monster I drew, o' my conscience,And so brought to light what before was stark nonsense.When I with my right hand did stoutly pursue,You turn'd to your left, and you writ like a Jew;Which, good Mister Dean, I can't think so fair,Therefore turn about to the right, as you were;Then if with true courage your ground you maintain,My fame is immortal, when Jonathan's slain:Who's greater by far than great Alexander,As much as a teal surpasses a gander;As much as a game-cock’s excell'd by a sparrow;As much as a coach is below a wheelbarrow:As much and much more as the most handsome manOf all the whole world is exceeded by Dan.
Oft have I been by poets told,That, poor Jonathan, thou grow'st old.Alas, thy numbers failing all,Poor Jonathan, how they do fall!Thy rhymes, which whilom made thy pride swell,Now jingle like a rusty bridle:Thy verse, which ran both smooth and sweet,Now limp upon their gouty feet:Thy thoughts, which were the true sublime,Are humbled by the tyrant, Time:Alas! what cannot Time subdue?Time has reduced my wine and you;Emptied my casks, and clipp'd your wings,Disabled both in our main springs;So that of late we two are grownThe jest and scorn of all the town.But yet, if my advice be ta'en,We two may be as great again;I'll send you wings, you send me wine;Then you will fly, and I shall shine.
How does Melpy like this? I think I have vex'd her;Little did she know, I was ambidexter.
Words in this poem
- prancer n.
- A horse which prances.
- conscience n.
- Knowledge of one's own thoughts or actions; consciousness. [F. conscience, fr. L. conscientia, fr. consciens, p.pr. of conscire to know, to be conscious; con- + scire to know. See Science.]
- stark adv.
- Wholly; entirely; absolutely; quite; as, stark mind.
- stoutly adv.
- In a stout manner; lustily; boldly; obstinately; as, he stoutly defended himself.
- mister n.
- A trade, art, or occupation. [OF. mistier trade, office, ministry, need, F. métier trade, fr. L. ministerium service, office, ministry. See Ministry, Mystery trade.]
- teal n.
- Any one of several species of small fresh-water ducks of the genus Anas and the subgenera Querquedula and Nettion. The male is handsomely colored, and has a bright green or blue speculum on the wings. [OE. tele; akin to D. teling a generation, production, teal, telen to breed, produce, and E. till to cultivate. The English word probably once meant, a brood or ]
- gander n.
- The male of any species of goose. [AS. gandra, ganra, akin to Prov. G. gander, ganter, and E. goose, gannet. See Goose.]
- wheelbarrow n.
- A light vehicle for conveying small loads. It has two handles and one wheel, and is rolled by a single person.
- whilom adv.
- Formerly; once; of old; erewhile; at times. [AS. hwilum, properly, at times, dative pl. of hwil; akin to G. weiland formerly, OHG. hwilm, See While, n.]
- jingle v. i.
- To sound with a fine, sharp, rattling, clinking, or tinkling sound; as, sleigh bells jingle. [OE. gingelen, ginglen; prob. akin to E. chink; cf. also E. jangle.]
- jest n.
- A deed; an action; a gest. [OE. jeste, geste, deed, action, story, tale, OF. geste, LL. gesta, orig., exploits, neut. pl. from L. gestus, p. p. of gerere to bear, carry, accomplish, perfor]
- shall v. i.
- To owe; to be under obligation for. [OE. shal, schal, imp. sholde, scholde, AS. scal, sceal, I am obliged, imp. scolde, sceolde, inf. sculan; akin to OS. skulan, pres. skal, imp. skolda, D. zullen,]
- ambidexter a.
- Using both hands with equal ease. Smollett. [LL., fr. L. ambo both + dexter right, dextra (sc. manus) the right hand.]
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
To the Dean of St. Patrick's in Answer to His Left-Handed Letter is in the public domain. This text is taken from The Poems of Jonathan Swift, D.D., Volume 2, Project Gutenberg ebook #13621; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Jonathan Swift, To the Dean of St. Patrick's in Answer to His Left-Handed Letter, in Poems, Volume II (1710–1745), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #13621, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/swift-poems/to-the-dean-of-st-patrick-s-in-answer-to-his-left-handed-let.html, id L09386.
Form and metre
To the Dean of St. Patrick's in Answer to His Left-Handed Letter is 42 lines in 3 verse paragraphs. It is in rhyming couplets, 67% of the lines. 91% of its stressed syllables fall where the metre puts the beat. The lines average 9.8 syllables. 9 lines end on an unstressed syllable, a feminine ending. 7% of the lines run on without a stop at the line end.
See other poems in rhyming couplets.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 -ABBCC--DD-AEEFFGGHH cancer · sirA · foundB · groundB · backC · trackC · conscience · nonsense · pursueD · jewD · fair · wereA · maintainE · slainE · alexanderF · ganderF · sparrowG · wheelbarrowG · manH · danH
- 2 AABB-BCCDDEEFF----GG toldA · oldA · allB · fallB · swell · bridleB · sweetC · feetC · sublimeD · timeD · subdueE · youE · wingsF · springsF · grown · town · ta'en · again · wineG · shineG
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| Since your poetic prancer is turn'd into Cancer, | 13 | ··˘/˘/˘····/˘ |
| I'll tell you at once, sir, I'm now not your man, sir; | 12 | ············ |
| For pray, sir, what pleasure in fighting is found | 11 | ····/˘·/˘·· |
| With a coward, who studies to traverse his ground? | 11 | ··/·/˘·˘/·· |
| When I drew forth my pen, with your pen you ran back; | 12 | ············ |
| But I found out the way to your den by its track: | 12 | ············ |
| From thence the black monster I drew, o' my conscience, | 12 | ····/˘····/˘ |
| And so brought to light what before was stark nonsense. | 12 | ··········/˘ |
| When I with my right hand did stoutly pursue, | 11 | ·······/˘˘/ |
| You turn'd to your left, and you writ like a Jew; | 11 | ··········· |
| Which, good Mister Dean, I can't think so fair, | 10 | ··/˘······ |
| Therefore turn about to the right, as you were; | 11 | ··········· |
| Then if with true courage your ground you maintain, | 11 | ····/˘···˘/ |
| My fame is immortal, when Jonathan's slain: | 10 | ···˘/˘·/˘· |
| Who's greater by far than great Alexander, | 11 | ·/˘·····˘/˘ |
| As much as a teal surpasses a gander; | 11 | ·····˘/˘·/˘ |
| As much as a game-cock’s excell'd by a sparrow; | 12 | ······˘/··/˘ |
| As much as a coach is below a wheelbarrow: | 12 | ·········/·˘ |
| As much and much more as the most handsome man | 11 | ········/˘· |
| Of all the whole world is exceeded by Dan. | 11 | ······˘/˘·· |
| Oft have I been by poets told, | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| That, poor Jonathan, thou grow'st old. | 8 | ··/˘˘··· |
| Alas, thy numbers failing all, | 8 | ˘/·/˘/˘· |
| Poor Jonathan, how they do fall! | 8 | ·/˘˘···· |
| Thy rhymes, which whilom made thy pride swell, | 9 | ···/˘···· |
| Now jingle like a rusty bridle: | 9 | ·/˘··/˘/˘ |
| Thy verse, which ran both smooth and sweet, | 8 | ········ |
| Now limp upon their gouty feet: | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| Thy thoughts, which were the true sublime, | 8 | ······˘/ |
| Are humbled by the tyrant, Time: | 8 | ·/˘··/˘· |
| Alas! what cannot Time subdue? | 8 | ˘/·/˘·˘/ |
| Time has reduced my wine and you; | 8 | ··˘/···· |
| Emptied my casks, and clipp'd your wings, | 8 | /˘······ |
| Disabled both in our main springs; | 8 | ˘/˘··/·· |
| So that of late we two are grown | 8 | ········ |
| The jest and scorn of all the town. | 8 | ········ |
| But yet, if my advice be ta'en, | 8 | ····˘/·· |
| We two may be as great again; | 8 | ······˘/ |
| I'll send you wings, you send me wine; | 8 | ········ |
| Then you will fly, and I shall shine. | 8 | ········ |
| How does Melpy like this? I think I have vex'd her; | 12 | ············ |
| Little did she know, I was ambidexter. | 11 | /˘·····/˘˘˘ |
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