Dr. Helsham's Answer
The Doctor's first rhyme would make any Jew sick:I know it has made a fine lady in blue sick,For which she is gone in a coach to Killbrew sick,Like a hen I once had, from a fox when she flew sick:Last Monday a lady at St. Patrick's did spew sick:And made all the rest of the folks in the pew sick,The surgeon who bled her his lancet out drew sick,And stopp'd the distemper, as being but new sick.The yacht, the last storm, had all her whole crew sick;Had we two been there, it would have made me and you sick:A lady that long'd, is by eating of glue sick;Did you ever know one in a very good Q sick?I'm told that my wife is by winding a clew sick;The doctors have made her by rhyme and by rue sick.There's a gamester in town, for a throw that he threw sick,And yet the whole trade of his dice he'll pursue sick;I've known an old miser for paying his due sick;At present I'm grown by a pinch of my shoe sick,And what would you have me with verses to do sick?Send rhymes, and I'll send you some others in lieu sick.Of rhymes I have plenty,And therefore send twenty.I was at Howth to-day, and staid abroad a-visiting till just now.
"Can you match with me,Who send thirty-three?You must get fourteen more,To make up thirty-four:But, if me you can conquer,I'll own you a strong cur."
This morning I'm growing, by smelling of yew, sick;My brother's come over with gold from Peru sick;Last night I came home in a storm that then blew sick;This moment my dog at a cat I halloo sick;I hear from good hands, that my poor cousin Hugh's sick;By quaffing a bottle, and pulling a screw sick:And now there's no more I can write (you'll excuse) sick;You see that I scorn to mention word music.I'll do my best,To send the rest;Without a jest,I'll stand the test.These lines that I send you, I hope you'll peruse sick;I'll make you with writing a little more news sick;Last night I came home with drinking of booze sick;My carpenter swears that he'll hack and he'll hew sick.An officer's lady, I'm told, is tattoo sick;I'm afraid that the line thirty-four you will view sick.Lord! I could write a dozen more;You see I've mounted thirty-four.
Words in this poem
- folks n.
- In Anglo-Saxon times, the people of a group of townships or villages; a community; a tribe. [AS. folc; akin to D. volk, OS. & OHG. folk, G. volk, Icel. f, Sw. & Dan. folk, Lith. pulkas crowd, and perh. to E. follow.]
- lancet n.
- A surgical instrument of various forms, commonly sharp-pointed and two-edged, used in venesection, and in opening abscesses, etc. [F. lancette, dim. of lance lance. See Lance.]
- clew v. t.
- To direct; to guide, as by a thread. [Cf. D. kluwenen. See Clew, n.]
- gamester n.
- A merry, frolicsome person. [Game + -ster.]
- jest n.
- A deed; an action; a gest. [OE. jeste, geste, deed, action, story, tale, OF. geste, LL. gesta, orig., exploits, neut. pl. from L. gestus, p. p. of gerere to bear, carry, accomplish, perfor]
- peruse v. t.
- To observe; to examine with care. [Pref. per- + use.]
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
Dr. Helsham's Answer is in the public domain. This text is taken from The Poems of Jonathan Swift, D.D., Volume 2, Project Gutenberg ebook #13621; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Jonathan Swift, Dr. Helsham's Answer, in Cadenus and Vanessa, and Other Poems (1710–1745), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #13621, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/swift-poems/dr-helsham-s-answer.html, id L18563.
Form and metre
Dr. Helsham's Answer is 49 lines in 3 verse paragraphs. It is in rhyming couplets, 94% of the lines. The metre is iambic hexameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 70%). 96% of its stressed syllables fall where the metre puts the beat. The lines average 8.8 syllables. 25 lines end on an unstressed syllable, a feminine ending.
See other poems in rhyming couplets, other poems in iambic hexameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABB- sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · plentyB · twentyB · now
- 2 AABB-- meA · threeA · moreB · fourB · conquer · cur
- 3 AAAAAAAABBBBAAAAAACC sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · musicA · bestB · restB · jestB · testB · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · sickA · moreC · fourC
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic hexameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| The Doctor's first rhyme would make any Jew sick: | 11 | ·/˘····/˘·· |
| I know it has made a fine lady in blue sick, | 12 | ·······/˘··· |
| For which she is gone in a coach to Killbrew sick, | 12 | ············ |
| Like a hen I once had, from a fox when she flew sick: | 13 | ············· |
| Last Monday a lady at St. Patrick's did spew sick: | 13 | ·/··/˘··/˘··· |
| And made all the rest of the folks in the pew sick, | 12 | ············ |
| The surgeon who bled her his lancet out drew sick, | 12 | ·/˘····/˘··· |
| And stopp'd the distemper, as being but new sick. | 12 | ···˘/˘·/˘··· |
| The yacht, the last storm, had all her whole crew sick; | 11 | ··········· |
| Had we two been there, it would have made me and you sick: | 13 | ············· |
| A lady that long'd, is by eating of glue sick; | 12 | ·/˘····/˘··· |
| Did you ever know one in a very good Q sick? | 12 | ··/····/˘··· |
| I'm told that my wife is by winding a clew sick; | 12 | ·······/˘··· |
| The doctors have made her by rhyme and by rue sick. | 12 | ·/˘········· |
| There's a gamester in town, for a throw that he threw sick, | 13 | ··/˘········· |
| And yet the whole trade of his dice he'll pursue sick; | 12 | ·········˘/· |
| I've known an old miser for paying his due sick; | 12 | ····/˘·/˘··· |
| At present I'm grown by a pinch of my shoe sick, | 12 | ·/˘········· |
| And what would you have me with verses to do sick? | 12 | ·······/˘··· |
| Send rhymes, and I'll send you some others in lieu sick. | 12 | ·······/˘··· |
| Of rhymes I have plenty, | 6 | ····/˘ |
| And therefore send twenty. | 6 | ····/˘ |
| I was at Howth to-day, and staid abroad a-visiting till just now. | 16 | ········˘/·/˘··· |
| "Can you match with me, | 5 | ····· |
| Who send thirty-three? | 5 | ··/˘· |
| You must get fourteen more, | 6 | ····/· |
| To make up thirty-four: | 6 | ···/˘· |
| But, if me you can conquer, | 7 | ·····/˘ |
| I'll own you a strong cur." | 6 | ······ |
| This morning I'm growing, by smelling of yew, sick; | 12 | ·/˘·/˘·/˘··· |
| My brother's come over with gold from Peru sick; | 12 | ·/˘······˘/· |
| Last night I came home in a storm that then blew sick; | 12 | ············ |
| This moment my dog at a cat I halloo sick; | 12 | ·/˘······˘/· |
| I hear from good hands, that my poor cousin Hugh's sick; | 12 | ········/˘·· |
| By quaffing a bottle, and pulling a screw sick: | 12 | ····/˘·/˘··· |
| And now there's no more I can write (you'll excuse) sick; | 12 | ·········˘/· |
| You see that I scorn to mention word music. | 11 | ······/˘·/˘ |
| I'll do my best, | 4 | ···· |
| To send the rest; | 4 | ···· |
| Without a jest, | 4 | ···· |
| I'll stand the test. | 4 | ···· |
| These lines that I send you, I hope you'll peruse sick; | 12 | ·········˘/· |
| I'll make you with writing a little more news sick; | 12 | ····/˘·/˘··· |
| Last night I came home with drinking of booze sick; | 11 | ······/˘··· |
| My carpenter swears that he'll hack and he'll hew sick. | 12 | ·/˘˘········ |
| An officer's lady, I'm told, is tattoo sick; | 12 | ·/˘˘/˘···˘/· |
| I'm afraid that the line thirty-four you will view sick. | 13 | ·˘/···/˘····· |
| Lord! I could write a dozen more; | 8 | ·····/˘· |
| You see I've mounted thirty-four. | 8 | ···/˘/˘· |
Notes from the edition 2
The notes to the Poems of Jonathan Swift, Volume II (Project Gutenberg #13621).
- Stanza 1, line 14 Time.--Dublin Edition.
- Stanza 2, line 6 The lines "thus marked" were written by Dr. Swift, at the bottom of Dr. Helsham's twenty lines; and the following fourteen were afterwards added on the same paper.--N.
The reader shows the same poem with its rhymes coloured and a stress row above each line, the notes beside their stanzas, and any word's definition on a tap; the analysis page takes the whole book apart. How every part of this site was made.