A Second Letter from B. Sawin, Esq
I spose you wonder ware I be; I can't tell, fer the soul o' me,Exacly ware I be myself,--meanin' by thet the holl o' me.Wen I left hum, I hed two legs, an' they worn't bad ones neither,(The scaliest trick they ever played wuz bringin' on me hither,)Now one on 'm's I dunno ware;--they thought I wuz adyin',An' sawed it off because they said 'twuz kin' o' mortifyin';I'm willin' to believe it wuz, an' yit I don't see, nuther,Wy one should take to feelin' cheap a minnit sooner'n t' other,Sence both wuz equilly to blame; but things is ez they be;It took on so they took it off, an' thet's enough fer me:There's one good thing, though, to be said about my wooden new one,--The liquor can't git into it ez't used to in the true one;So it saves drink; an' then, besides, a feller couldn't begA gretter blessin' then to hev one ollers sober peg;It's true a chap's in want o' two fer follerin' a drum,But all the march I'm up to now is jest to Kingdom Come.
I've lost one eye, but thet's a loss it's easy to supplyOut o' the glory that I've gut, fer thet is all my eye;An' one is big enough, I guess, by diligently usin' it,To see all I shall ever git by way o' pay fer losin' it;Off'cers, I notice, who git paid fer all our thumps an' kickins,Du wal by keepin' single eyes arter the fattest pickins;So, ez the eye's put fairly out, I'll larn to go without it,An' not allow myself to be no gret put out about it.Now, le' me see, thet isn't all; I used, 'fore leavin' Jaalam,To count things on my finger-eends, but sutthin' seems to ail 'em:Ware's my left hand? O, darn it, yes, I recollect wut's come on't;I haint no left arm but my right, an' thet's gut jest a thumb on't;It aint so hendy ez it wuz to cal'late a sum on't.I've hed some ribs broke,--six (I b'lieve),--I haint kep' no accounton 'em;Wen pensions git to be the talk, I'll settle the amount on 'em.An' now I'm speakin' about ribs, it kin' o' brings to mindOne thet I couldn't never break,--the one I lef' behind;Ef you should see her, jest clear out the spout o' your inventionAn' pour the longest sweetnin' in about an annooal pension,An' kin' o' hint (in case, you know, the critter should refuse to beConsoled) I aint so 'xpensive now to keep ez wut I used to be;There's one arm less, ditto one eye, an' then the leg thet's woodenCan be took off an' sot away wenever ther's a puddin'.
I spose you think I'm comin' back ez opperlunt ez thunder,With shiploads o' gold images an' varus sorts o' plunder;Wal, 'fore I vullinteered, I thought this country wuz a sort o'Canaan, a reg'lar Promised Land flowin' with rum an' water,Ware propaty growed up like time, without no cultivation,An' gold wuz dug ez taters be among our Yankee nation,Ware nateral advantages were pufficly amazin',Ware every rock there wuz about with precious stuns wuz blazin',Ware mill-sites filled the country up ez thick ez you could cram 'em,An' desput rivers run about abeggin' folks to dam 'em;Then there were meetinhouses, tu, chockful o' gold an' silverThet you could take, an' no one couldn't hand ye in no bill fer;--Thet's wut I thought afore I went, thet's wut them fellers told usThet stayed to hum an' speechified an' to the buzzards sold us;I thought thet gold mines could be gut cheaper than Chiny asters,An' see myself a comin' back like sixty Jacob Astors;But sech idees soon melted down an' didn't leave a grease-spot;I vow my holl sheer o' the spiles wouldn't come nigh a V spot;Although, most anywares we've ben, you needn't break no locks,Nor run no kin' o' risks, to fill your pocket full o' rocks.
I guess I mentioned in my last some o' the nateral feetursO' this all-fiered buggy hole in th' way o' awfle creeturs,But I fergut to name (new things to speak on so abounded)How one day you'll most die o' thust, an' 'fore the next gitdrownded.The clymit seems to me jest like a teapot made o' pewterOur Prudence hed, thet wouldn't pour (all she could du) to suit her;Fust place the leaves 'ould choke the spout, so's not a drop 'oulddreen out,Then Prude 'ould tip an' tip an' tip, till the holl kit bust clean out,The kiver-hinge-pin bein' lost, tea-leaves an' tea an' kiver'ould all come down kerswosh! ez though the dam broke in a river.Jest so 'tis here; holl months there aint a day o' rainy weather,An' jest ez th' officers 'ould be alayin' heads togetherEz t' how they'd mix their drink at sech a milingtary deepot,--'T'ould pour ez though the lid wuz off the everlastin' teapot.The cons'quence is, thet I shall take, wen I'm allowed to leave here,One piece o' propaty along,--an' thet's the shakin' fever;It's reggilar employment, though, an' thet aint thought to harm one,Nor 'taint so tiresome ez it wuz with t'other leg an' arm on;An' it's a consolation, tu, although it doosn't pay,To hev it said you're some gret shakes in any kin' o' way.'T worn't very long, I tell ye wut, I thought o' fortin-makin',--One day a reg'lar shiver-de-freeze, an' next ez good ez bakin',--One day abrilin' in the sand, then smoth'rin' in the mashes,--Git up all sound, be put to bed a mess o' hacks an' smashes.But then, thinks I, at any rate there's glory to be hed,--Thet's an investment, arter all, thet mayn't turn out so bad;But somehow, wen we'd fit an' licked, I ollers found the thanksGut kin' o' lodged afore they come ez low down ez the ranks;The Gin'rals gut the biggest sheer, the Cunnles next, an' so on,--We never gut a blasted mite o' glory ez I know on;An' spose we hed, I wonder how you're goin' to contrive itsDivision so's to give a piece to twenty thousand privits;Ef you should multiply by ten the portion o' the brav'st one,You wouldn't git more 'n half enough to speak of on a grave-stun;We git the licks,--we're jest the grist thet's put into War's hoppers;Leftenants is the lowest grade thet helps pick up the coppers.It may suit folks thet go agin a body with a soul in't,An' aint contented with a hide without a bagnet hole in't;But glory is a kin' o' thing I shan't pursue no furder,Coz thet's the off'cers parquisite,--yourn's on'y jest the murder.
Wal, arter I gin glory up, thinks I at least there's oneThing in the bills we aint hed yit, an' thet's the |GLORIOUS FUN|;Ef once we git to Mexico, we fairly may persume weAll day an' night shall revel in the halls o' Montezumy.I'll tell ye wut my revels wuz, an' see how you would like 'em;We never gut inside the hall: the nighest ever I comeWuz stan'in' sentry in the sun (an', fact, it seemed a cent'ry)A ketchin' smells o' biled an' roast thet come out thru the entry,An' hearin' ez I sweltered thru my passes an' repasses,A rat-tat-too o' knives an' forks, a clinkty-clink o' glasses:I can't tell off the bill o' fare the Gin'rals hed inside;All I know is, thet out o' doors a pair o' soles wuz fried,An' not a hunderd miles away frum ware this child wuz posted,A Massachusetts citizen wuz baked an' biled an' roasted;The on'y thing like revellin' thet ever come to meWuz bein' routed out o' sleep by thet darned revelee.
They say the quarrel's settled now; fer my part I've some doubt on't,'T 'll take more fish-skin than folks think to take the rile clean outon't;At any rate, I'm so used up I can't do no more fightin',The on'y chance thet's left to me is politics or writin';Now, ez the people's gut to hev a milingtary man,An' I aint nothin' else jest now, I've hit upon a plan;The can'idatin' line, you know, 'ould suit me to a T,An' ef I lose, 't wunt hurt my ears to lodge another flea;So I'll set up ez can'idate fer any kin' o' office,(I mean fer any thet includes good easy-cheers an' soffies;Fer ez to runnin' fer a place ware work's the time o' day,You know thet's wut I never did,--except the other way;)Ef it's the Presidential cheer fer wich I'd better run,Wut two legs anywares about could keep up with my one?There aint no kin' o' quality in can'idates, it's said,So useful ez a wooden leg,--except a wooden head;There's nothin' aint so poppylar--(wy, it's a parfect sinTo think wut Mexico hez paid fer Santy Anny's pin;)--Then I haint gut no princerples, an', sence I wuz knee-high,I never did hev any gret, ez you can testify;I'm a decided peace man, tu, an' go agin the war,--Fer now the holl on 't 's gone an' past, wut is there to go for?Ef, wile you're 'lectioneerin' round, some curus chaps should begTo know my views o' state affairs, jest answer |WOODEN LEG|!Ef they aint settisfied with thet, an' kin' o' pry an' doubtAn' ax fer sutthin' deffynit, jest say |ONE EYE PUT OUT|!Thet kin' o' talk I guess you'll find'll answer to a charm,An' wen you're druv tu nigh the wall, hol' up my missin' arm;Ef they should nose round fer a pledge, put on a vartoous lookAn' tell 'em thet's percisely wut I never gin nor--took!
Then you can call me "Timbertoes,"--thet's wut the people likes;Sutthin' combinin' morril truth with phrases sech ez strikes;Some say the people's fond o' this, or thet, or wut you please,--I tell ye wut the people want is jest correct idees;"Old Timbertoes," you see, 's a creed it's safe to be quite bold on,There's nothin' in't the other side can any ways git hold on;It's a good tangible idee, a sutthin' to embodyThet valooable class o' men who look thru brandy-toddy;It gives a Party Platform, tu, jest level with the mindOf all right-thinkin', honest folks thet mean to go it blind;Then there air other good hooraws to dror on ez you need 'em,Sech ez the |one-eyed Slarterer|, the |bloody Birdofredum|;Them's wut takes hold o' folks thet think, ez well ez o' the masses,An' makes you sartin o' the aid o' good men of all classes.
There's one thing I'm in doubt about; in order to be Presidunt,It's absolutely ne'ssary to be a Southern residunt;The Constitution settles thet, an' also thet a fellerMust own a nigger o' some sort, jet black, or brown, or yeller.Now I haint no objections agin particklar climes,Nor agin ownin' anythin' (except the truth sometimes),But, ez I haint no capital, up there among ye, maybe,You might raise funds enough fer me to buy a low-priced baby,An' then, to suit the No'thern folks, who feel obleeged to sayThey hate an' cuss the very thing they vote fer every day,Say you're assured I go full butt fer Liberty's diffusionAn' made the purchis on'y jest to spite the Institootion;--But, golly! there's the currier's hoss upon the pavement pawin'!I'll be more 'xplicit in my next.
Dr.To his share of work done in Mexico on partnership account,sundry jobs, as below.
" killing, maiming, and wounding about 5,000 Mexicans, $2.00" slaughtering one woman carrying water to wounded, .10" extra work on two different Sabbaths (one bombardmentand one assault) whereby the Mexicans were preventedfrom defiling themselves with the idolatries of high mass, 3.50"throwing an especially fortunate and Protestant bombshellinto the Cathedral at Vera Cruz, whereby several femalePapists were slain at the altar, .50"his proportion of cash paid for conquered territory, 1.75" do. do. for conquering do. 1.50"manuring do. with new superior compost called "AmericanCitizen," .50"extending the area of freedom and Protestantism, .01"glory, .01Immediate payment is requested.
N. B. Thankful for former favors, U. S. requests acontinuance of patronage. Orders executed with neatness anddespatch. Terms as low as those of any other contractor forthe same kind and style of work.
Words in this poem 37
- feller n.
- One who, or that which, fells, knocks or cuts down; a machine for felling trees.
- jest n.
- A deed; an action; a gest. [OE. jeste, geste, deed, action, story, tale, OF. geste, LL. gesta, orig., exploits, neut. pl. from L. gestus, p. p. of gerere to bear, carry, accomplish, perfor]
- shall v. i.
- To owe; to be under obligation for. [OE. shal, schal, imp. sholde, scholde, AS. scal, sceal, I am obliged, imp. scolde, sceolde, inf. sculan; akin to OS. skulan, pres. skal, imp. skolda, D. zullen,]
- fairly adv.
- In a fairmanner; clearly; openly; plainly; fully; distinctly; frankly.
- darn v. t.
- To mend as a rent or hole, with interlacing stitches of yarn or thread by means of a needle; to sew together with yarn or thread. [OE. derne, prob. of Celtic origin; cf. W. darnio to piece, break in pieces, W. & Arm. to E. tear. Cf. Tear, v. t.]
- recollect v. t.
- To recover or recall the knowledge of; to bring back to the mind or memory; to remember. [Pref. re- + collect: cf. L. recolligere, recollectum, to collect. Cf. Recollet.]
- broke v. i.
- To transact business for another. Brome. [See Broker, and cf. Brook.]
- ditto n.
- The aforesaid thing; the same (as before). Often contracted to do., or to two [It., detto, ditto, fr. L. dictum. See Dictum.]
- varus n.
- A deformity in which the foot is turned inward. See Talipes.
- folks n.
- In Anglo-Saxon times, the people of a group of townships or villages; a community; a tribe. [AS. folc; akin to D. volk, OS. & OHG. folk, G. volk, Icel. f, Sw. & Dan. folk, Lith. pulkas crowd, and perh. to E. follow.]
- afore prep.
- Before (in all its senses).
- went n.
- Course; way; path; journey; direction.
- stayed a.
- Staid; fixed; settled; sober; -- now written staid. See Staid.
- buggy a.
- Infested or abounding with bugs. [From Bug.]
- teapot n.
- A vessel with a spout, in which tea is made, and from which it is poured into teacups.
- pewter n.
- A hard, tough, but easily fusible, alloy, originally consisting of tin with a little lead, but afterwards modified by the addition of copper, antimony, or bismuth. [OE. pewtyr, OF. peutre, peautre, piautre: cf. D. peauter, piauter, It. peltro, Sp. & Pg. peltre, LL. peutreum, pestrum. Cf. Spelter.]
- fust v. i.
- To become moldy; to smell ill.
- prude n.
- A woman of affected modesty, reserve, or coyness; one who is overscrupulous or sensitive; one who affects extraordinary prudence in conduct and speech. [F., prudish, originally, discreet, modest; shortened from OF. prudefeme, preudefeme, a discreet or excellent woman; OF. preu, prou, excellent, brave + de of + f]
- somehow adv.
- In one way or another; in some way not yet known or designated; by some means; as, the thing must be done somehow; he lives somehow.
- biggest a.
- , superl. of Big.
- blasted a.
- Blighted; withered.
- grist n.
- Ground corn; that which is ground at one time; as much grain as is carried to the mill at one time, or the meal it produces. [AS. grist, fr. grindan. See Grind.]
- glorious a.
- Exhibiting attributes, qualities, or acts that are worthy of or receive glory; noble; praiseworthy; excellent; splendid; illustrious; inspiring admiration; as, glorious deeds. [OF. glorios, glorious, F. glorieux, fr. L. gloriosus. See Glory, n.]
- rile v. t.
- To render turbid or muddy; to stir up; to roil. [See Roil.]
- presidential a.
- Presiding or watching over.
- wich n.
- A variant of 1st Wick.
- testify v. i.
- To make a solemn declaration, verbal or written, to establish some fact; to give testimony for the purpose of communicating to others a knowledge of something not known to them. [OF. testifier, L. testificari; testis a witness + -ficare (in comp.) to make. See -fy, and cf. Attest, Contest, Detest, Protest, Testament.]
- wile n.
- A trick or stratagem practiced for insnaring or deception; a sly, insidious; artifice; a beguilement; an allurement. [OE. wile, AS. wil; cf. Icel. v, væl. Cf. Guile.]
- nigger n.
- A negro; -- in vulgar derision or depreciation.
- maybe adv.
- Perhaps; possibly; peradventure. [For it may be.]
- sundry a.
- Several; divers; more than one or two; various. [OE. sundry, sondry, AS. syndrig, fr. sundor asunder. See Sunder, v. t.]
- bombardment n.
- An attack upon a fortress or fortified town, with shells, hot shot, rockets, etc.; the act of throwing bombs and shot into a town or fortified place. [F. bombardement.]
- bombshell n.
- A bomb. See Bomb, n.
- manuring n.
- The act of process of applying manure; also, the manure applied.
- compost n.
- A mixture; a compound. [OF. compost, fr. L. compositus, p. p. See Composite.]
- protestantism n.
- The quality or state of being protestant, especially against the Roman Catholic Church; the principles or religion of the Protestants. [Cf. F. protestantisme.]
- thankful a.
- Obtaining or deserving thanks; thankworthy. [AS. Þancfull.]
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
A Second Letter from B. Sawin, Esq is in the public domain. This text is taken from Poems of James Russell Lowell With biographical sketch by Nathan Haskell Dole, Project Gutenberg ebook #38520; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: James Russell Lowell, A Second Letter from B. Sawin, Esq, in Poems (1844–1888), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #38520, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/lowell-james-russell-poems/a-second-letter-from-b-sawin-esq.html, id L13774.
Form and metre
A Second Letter from B. Sawin, Esq is 199 lines in 11 verse paragraphs. It is in rhyming couplets, 68% of the lines. The metre is iambic heptameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 81%). 94% of its stressed syllables fall where the metre puts the beat. The lines average 13.8 syllables. 55 lines end on an unstressed syllable, a feminine ending. 24% of the lines run on without a stop at the line end.
See other poems in rhyming couplets, other poems in iambic heptameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 AA--BBCCAADDEEFF meA · meA · neither · hither · adyinB · mortifyinB · nutherC · otherC · beA · meA · oneD · oneD · begE · pegE · drumF · comeF
- 2 AABBCCBB-DEEEEDDFFGGHH-- supplyA · eyeA · itB · itB · kickinsC · pickinsC · itB · itB · jaalam · emD · on'tE · on'tE · on'tE · accountE · emD · emD · mindF · behindF · inventionG · pensionG · beH · beH · wooden · puddin
- 3 AA--BBCCDD--EEFFGGHH thunderA · plunderA · o · water · cultivationB · nationB · amazinC · blazinC · emD · emD · silver · fer · usE · usE · astersF · astorsF · spotG · spotG · locksH · rocksH
- 4 AA----------BB----CCDDC-EE--FF--GGHHII--JJ feetursA · creetursA · abounded · git · drownded · pewter · her · ould · out · out · kiver · river · weatherB · togetherB · deepot · teapot · here · fever · oneC · onC · payD · wayD · makinC · bakin · mashesE · smashesE · hed · bad · thanksF · ranksF · on · on · itsG · privitsG · oneH · stunH · hoppersI · coppersI · in't · in't · furderJ · murderJ
- 5 AAB---CCDDEEFFB- oneA · fun|A · weB · montezumy · em · come · cent'ryC · entryC · repassesD · glassesD · insideE · friedE · postedF · roastedF · meB · revelee
- 6 ---AABBCC--DDEEFFGGHHIIJJKKLLMM on't · out · on't · fightinA · writinA · manB · planB · tC · fleaC · office · soffies · dayD · wayD · runE · oneE · saidF · headF · sinG · pinG · highH · testifyH · warI · forI · begJ · leg|J · doubtK · out|K · charmL · armL · lookM · tookM
- 7 AABBCCDDEE--FF likesA · strikesA · pleaseB · ideesB · onC · onC · embodyD · toddyD · mindE · blindE · em · birdofredum| · massesF · classesF
- 8 AABBCCDDEEFF-- presiduntA · residuntA · fellerB · yellerB · climesC · sometimesC · maybeD · babyD · sayE · dayE · diffusionF · institootionF · pawin · next
- 10 AA--A--AAA-AAA- — · — · bombardment · prevented · — · bombshell · female · — · — · — · american · — · — · — · requested
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic heptameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| I spose you wonder ware I be; I can't tell, fer the soul o' me, | 16 | ···/˘··········· |
| Exacly ware I be myself,--meanin' by thet the holl o' me. | 16 | ·······/········ |
| Wen I left hum, I hed two legs, an' they worn't bad ones neither, | 15 | ·············/˘ |
| (The scaliest trick they ever played wuz bringin' on me hither,) | 14 | ·/˘··/······/˘ |
| Now one on 'm's I dunno ware;--they thought I wuz adyin', | 14 | ·····˘/······· |
| An' sawed it off because they said 'twuz kin' o' mortifyin'; | 14 | ·············· |
| I'm willin' to believe it wuz, an' yit I don't see, nuther, | 15 | ····˘/········· |
| Wy one should take to feelin' cheap a minnit sooner'n t' other, | 16 | ·····/˘·······/˘ |
| Sence both wuz equilly to blame; but things is ez they be; | 14 | ·············· |
| It took on so they took it off, an' thet's enough fer me: | 14 | ··········˘/·· |
| There's one good thing, though, to be said about my wooden new one,-- | 15 | ···········/˘·· |
| The liquor can't git into it ez't used to in the true one; | 15 | ·/˘············ |
| So it saves drink; an' then, besides, a feller couldn't beg | 14 | ······˘/·/˘/˘· |
| A gretter blessin' then to hev one ollers sober peg; | 14 | ·········/˘/˘· |
| It's true a chap's in want o' two fer follerin' a drum, | 14 | ·············· |
| But all the march I'm up to now is jest to Kingdom Come. | 14 | ···········/˘· |
| I've lost one eye, but thet's a loss it's easy to supply | 14 | ·········/˘·˘/ |
| Out o' the glory that I've gut, fer thet is all my eye; | 14 | ···/˘········· |
| An' one is big enough, I guess, by diligently usin' it, | 14 | ····˘/···/˘··· |
| To see all I shall ever git by way o' pay fer losin' it; | 15 | ·····/········· |
| Off'cers, I notice, who git paid fer all our thumps an' kickins, | 15 | ···/˘·····/···· |
| Du wal by keepin' single eyes arter the fattest pickins; | 15 | ·····/˘·/˘·/˘/˘ |
| So, ez the eye's put fairly out, I'll larn to go without it, | 15 | ·····/˘········ |
| An' not allow myself to be no gret put out about it. | 15 | ··˘/·/········· |
| Now, le' me see, thet isn't all; I used, 'fore leavin' Jaalam, | 15 | ·····/˘········ |
| To count things on my finger-eends, but sutthin' seems to ail 'em: | 15 | ·····/˘········ |
| Ware's my left hand? O, darn it, yes, I recollect wut's come on't; | 15 | ··········˘/··· |
| I haint no left arm but my right, an' thet's gut jest a thumb on't; | 15 | ··············· |
| It aint so hendy ez it wuz to cal'late a sum on't. | 14 | ···/˘········· |
| I've hed some ribs broke,--six (I b'lieve),--I haint kep' no account | 14 | ············˘/ |
| on 'em; | 2 | ·· |
| Wen pensions git to be the talk, I'll settle the amount on 'em. | 16 | ·/˘······/˘·˘/·· |
| An' now I'm speakin' about ribs, it kin' o' brings to mind | 14 | ·············· |
| One thet I couldn't never break,--the one I lef' behind; | 13 | ···/˘/······· |
| Ef you should see her, jest clear out the spout o' your invention | 15 | ············˘/˘ |
| An' pour the longest sweetnin' in about an annooal pension, | 15 | ···/˘········/˘ |
| An' kin' o' hint (in case, you know, the critter should refuse to be | 16 | ·········/˘·˘/·· |
| Consoled) I aint so 'xpensive now to keep ez wut I used to be; | 16 | ˘/·············· |
| There's one arm less, ditto one eye, an' then the leg thet's wooden | 15 | ····/˘·······/˘ |
| Can be took off an' sot away wenever ther's a puddin'. | 15 | ······˘/······· |
| I spose you think I'm comin' back ez opperlunt ez thunder, | 15 | ·····/˘······/˘ |
| With shiploads o' gold images an' varus sorts o' plunder; | 14 | ·/···/˘·/˘··/˘ |
| Wal, 'fore I vullinteered, I thought this country wuz a sort o' | 15 | ·········/˘···· |
| Canaan, a reg'lar Promised Land flowin' with rum an' water, | 15 | /˘···/˘······/˘ |
| Ware propaty growed up like time, without no cultivation, | 15 | ············˘/˘ |
| An' gold wuz dug ez taters be among our Yankee nation, | 15 | ·····/˘···//˘/˘ |
| Ware nateral advantages were pufficly amazin', | 14 | ····˘/˘······· |
| Ware every rock there wuz about with precious stuns wuz blazin', | 15 | ·/˘······/˘···· |
| Ware mill-sites filled the country up ez thick ez you could cram 'em, | 15 | ·····/˘········ |
| An' desput rivers run about abeggin' folks to dam 'em; | 15 | ···/˘·········· |
| Then there were meetinhouses, tu, chockful o' gold an' silver | 15 | ·············/˘ |
| Thet you could take, an' no one couldn't hand ye in no bill fer;-- | 15 | ·······/˘······ |
| Thet's wut I thought afore I went, thet's wut them fellers told us | 15 | ····˘/·····/˘·· |
| Thet stayed to hum an' speechified an' to the buzzards sold us; | 14 | ··········/˘·· |
| I thought thet gold mines could be gut cheaper than Chiny asters, | 15 | ········/˘···/˘ |
| An' see myself a comin' back like sixty Jacob Astors; | 15 | ···/·/˘··/˘/˘/˘ |
| But sech idees soon melted down an' didn't leave a grease-spot; | 14 | ····/˘··/˘···· |
| I vow my holl sheer o' the spiles wouldn't come nigh a V spot; | 15 | ········/˘····· |
| Although, most anywares we've ben, you needn't break no locks, | 14 | ·········/˘··· |
| Nor run no kin' o' risks, to fill your pocket full o' rocks. | 14 | ·········/˘··· |
| I guess I mentioned in my last some o' the nateral feeturs | 16 | ···/˘··········· |
| O' this all-fiered buggy hole in th' way o' awfle creeturs, | 14 | ····/˘········ |
| But I fergut to name (new things to speak on so abounded) | 15 | ············˘/˘ |
| How one day you'll most die o' thust, an' 'fore the next git | 13 | ············· |
| drownded. | 2 | ·· |
| The clymit seems to me jest like a teapot made o' pewter | 15 | ·········/···/˘ |
| Our Prudence hed, thet wouldn't pour (all she could du) to suit her; | 15 | //˘··/˘········ |
| Fust place the leaves 'ould choke the spout, so's not a drop 'ould | 13 | ············· |
| dreen out, | 2 | ·· |
| Then Prude 'ould tip an' tip an' tip, till the holl kit bust clean out, | 15 | ··············· |
| The kiver-hinge-pin bein' lost, tea-leaves an' tea an' kiver | 15 | ·/˘··/˘······/˘ |
| 'ould all come down kerswosh! ez though the dam broke in a river. | 15 | ·············/˘ |
| Jest so 'tis here; holl months there aint a day o' rainy weather, | 15 | ···········/˘/˘ |
| An' jest ez th' officers 'ould be alayin' heads together | 13 | ···/˘·····˘/˘ |
| Ez t' how they'd mix their drink at sech a milingtary deepot,-- | 16 | ················ |
| 'T'ould pour ez though the lid wuz off the everlastin' teapot. | 15 | ·············/· |
| The cons'quence is, thet I shall take, wen I'm allowed to leave here, | 15 | ··········˘/··· |
| One piece o' propaty along,--an' thet's the shakin' fever; | 15 | ······˘/·····/˘ |
| It's reggilar employment, though, an' thet aint thought to harm one, | 15 | ····˘/˘········ |
| Nor 'taint so tiresome ez it wuz with t'other leg an' arm on; | 16 | ···/˘····˘/˘···· |
| An' it's a consolation, tu, although it doosn't pay, | 13 | ····˘/˘······ |
| To hev it said you're some gret shakes in any kin' o' way. | 14 | ·········/˘··· |
| 'T worn't very long, I tell ye wut, I thought o' fortin-makin',-- | 16 | ··/˘········/˘/˘ |
| One day a reg'lar shiver-de-freeze, an' next ez good ez bakin',-- | 16 | ·····/˘········· |
| One day abrilin' in the sand, then smoth'rin' in the mashes,-- | 15 | ·············/˘ |
| Git up all sound, be put to bed a mess o' hacks an' smashes. | 15 | ·············/˘ |
| But then, thinks I, at any rate there's glory to be hed,-- | 14 | ·····/˘··/˘··· |
| Thet's an investment, arter all, thet mayn't turn out so bad; | 14 | ··˘/˘/˘······· |
| But somehow, wen we'd fit an' licked, I ollers found the thanks | 14 | ·/·······/˘··· |
| Gut kin' o' lodged afore they come ez low down ez the ranks; | 14 | ····˘/········ |
| The Gin'rals gut the biggest sheer, the Cunnles next, an' so on,-- | 14 | ·····/˘······· |
| We never gut a blasted mite o' glory ez I know on; | 14 | ·/··/˘··/˘···· |
| An' spose we hed, I wonder how you're goin' to contrive its | 15 | ·····/˘··/˘·˘/· |
| Division so's to give a piece to twenty thousand privits; | 15 | ˘/˘······/˘/˘·· |
| Ef you should multiply by ten the portion o' the brav'st one, | 16 | ···/˘····/˘··/˘· |
| You wouldn't git more 'n half enough to speak of on a grave-stun; | 16 | ·/˘····˘/······· |
| We git the licks,--we're jest the grist thet's put into War's hoppers; | 15 | ·············/˘ |
| Leftenants is the lowest grade thet helps pick up the coppers. | 15 | ·····/˘······/˘ |
| It may suit folks thet go agin a body with a soul in't, | 15 | ······˘/·/˘···· |
| An' aint contented with a hide without a bagnet hole in't; | 15 | ··˘/˘·········· |
| But glory is a kin' o' thing I shan't pursue no furder, | 15 | ·/˘·······˘/··· |
| Coz thet's the off'cers parquisite,--yourn's on'y jest the murder. | 15 | ·········/˘··/˘ |
| Wal, arter I gin glory up, thinks I at least there's one | 14 | ·/˘··/˘······· |
| Thing in the bills we aint hed yit, an' thet's the |GLORIOUS FUN|; | 14 | ···········/˘· |
| Ef once we git to Mexico, we fairly may persume we | 15 | ·····/˘··/˘···· |
| All day an' night shall revel in the halls o' Montezumy. | 15 | ·····/˘········ |
| I'll tell ye wut my revels wuz, an' see how you would like 'em; | 15 | ·····/˘········ |
| We never gut inside the hall: the nighest ever I come | 13 | ·/·˘/···/˘/·· |
| Wuz stan'in' sentry in the sun (an', fact, it seemed a cent'ry) | 15 | ···/˘········/˘ |
| A ketchin' smells o' biled an' roast thet come out thru the entry, | 15 | ·············/˘ |
| An' hearin' ez I sweltered thru my passes an' repasses, | 15 | ·/˘··/˘··/˘·˘/˘ |
| A rat-tat-too o' knives an' forks, a clinkty-clink o' glasses: | 15 | ·············/˘ |
| I can't tell off the bill o' fare the Gin'rals hed inside; | 14 | ············˘/ |
| All I know is, thet out o' doors a pair o' soles wuz fried, | 14 | ·············· |
| An' not a hunderd miles away frum ware this child wuz posted, | 15 | ······˘/·····/˘ |
| A Massachusetts citizen wuz baked an' biled an' roasted; | 14 | ··˘/˘/˘·····/˘ |
| The on'y thing like revellin' thet ever come to me | 13 | ·/˘······/··· |
| Wuz bein' routed out o' sleep by thet darned revelee. | 14 | ·/˘/˘········· |
| They say the quarrel's settled now; fer my part I've some doubt on't, | 15 | ···/˘/˘········ |
| 'T 'll take more fish-skin than folks think to take the rile clean out | 15 | ··············· |
| on't; | 1 | · |
| At any rate, I'm so used up I can't do no more fightin', | 15 | ·/˘··········/˘ |
| The on'y chance thet's left to me is politics or writin'; | 15 | ·/˘······/˘···· |
| Now, ez the people's gut to hev a milingtary man, | 14 | ···/˘········· |
| An' I aint nothin' else jest now, I've hit upon a plan; | 14 | ···/˘········· |
| The can'idatin' line, you know, 'ould suit me to a T, | 14 | ·············· |
| An' ef I lose, 't wunt hurt my ears to lodge another flea; | 15 | ···········˘/˘· |
| So I'll set up ez can'idate fer any kin' o' office, | 15 | ·········/˘··/˘ |
| (I mean fer any thet includes good easy-cheers an' soffies; | 14 | ···/˘·˘/·/˘··· |
| Fer ez to runnin' fer a place ware work's the time o' day, | 14 | ···/˘········· |
| You know thet's wut I never did,--except the other way;) | 13 | ·····/····/˘· |
| Ef it's the Presidential cheer fer wich I'd better run, | 14 | ····˘/˘····/˘· |
| Wut two legs anywares about could keep up with my one? | 14 | ·············· |
| There aint no kin' o' quality in can'idates, it's said, | 13 | ·····/˘······ |
| So useful ez a wooden leg,--except a wooden head; | 14 | ·/˘··/˘····/˘· |
| There's nothin' aint so poppylar--(wy, it's a parfect sin | 14 | ·/˘··········· |
| To think wut Mexico hez paid fer Santy Anny's pin;)-- | 14 | ···/˘····/˘/˘· |
| Then I haint gut no princerples, an', sence I wuz knee-high, | 13 | ············· |
| I never did hev any gret, ez you can testify; | 13 | ·/··/˘····/˘· |
| I'm a decided peace man, tu, an' go agin the war,-- | 14 | ··˘/˘·····˘/·· |
| Fer now the holl on 't 's gone an' past, wut is there to go for? | 16 | ················ |
| Ef, wile you're 'lectioneerin' round, some curus chaps should beg | 14 | ·············· |
| To know my views o' state affairs, jest answer |WOODEN LEG|! | 14 | ······˘/·/˘/˘· |
| Ef they aint settisfied with thet, an' kin' o' pry an' doubt | 13 | ············· |
| An' ax fer sutthin' deffynit, jest say |ONE EYE PUT OUT|! | 14 | ·············· |
| Thet kin' o' talk I guess you'll find'll answer to a charm, | 13 | ········/˘··· |
| An' wen you're druv tu nigh the wall, hol' up my missin' arm; | 14 | ·············· |
| Ef they should nose round fer a pledge, put on a vartoous look | 14 | ·············· |
| An' tell 'em thet's percisely wut I never gin nor--took! | 14 | ··········/··· |
| Then you can call me "Timbertoes,"--thet's wut the people likes; | 13 | ··········/˘· |
| Sutthin' combinin' morril truth with phrases sech ez strikes; | 14 | ·········/˘··· |
| Some say the people's fond o' this, or thet, or wut you please,-- | 14 | ···/˘········· |
| I tell ye wut the people want is jest correct idees; | 13 | ·····/˘···˘/· |
| "Old Timbertoes," you see, 's a creed it's safe to be quite bold on, | 15 | ··············· |
| There's nothin' in't the other side can any ways git hold on; | 15 | ·/˘··/˘··/˘···· |
| It's a good tangible idee, a sutthin' to embody | 14 | ···/˘······˘/˘ |
| Thet valooable class o' men who look thru brandy-toddy; | 14 | ··········/˘/˘ |
| It gives a Party Platform, tu, jest level with the mind | 14 | ···/˘/···/˘··· |
| Of all right-thinkin', honest folks thet mean to go it blind; | 14 | ···/˘/˘······· |
| Then there air other good hooraws to dror on ez you need 'em, | 15 | ···/˘·········· |
| Sech ez the |one-eyed Slarterer|, the |bloody Birdofredum|; | 15 | ·········/˘···· |
| Them's wut takes hold o' folks thet think, ez well ez o' the masses, | 15 | ·············/˘ |
| An' makes you sartin o' the aid o' good men of all classes. | 15 | ···/˘········/˘ |
| There's one thing I'm in doubt about; in order to be Presidunt, | 16 | ·········/˘····· |
| It's absolutely ne'ssary to be a Southern residunt; | 16 | ··˘/˘······/˘··· |
| The Constitution settles thet, an' also thet a feller | 15 | ··˘/˘/˘··/˘··/˘ |
| Must own a nigger o' some sort, jet black, or brown, or yeller. | 15 | ···/˘·········· |
| Now I haint no objections agin particklar climes, | 13 | ····˘/˘˘/···· |
| Nor agin ownin' anythin' (except the truth sometimes), | 14 | ·˘/·········/· |
| But, ez I haint no capital, up there among ye, maybe, | 14 | ·····/˘·····/˘ |
| You might raise funds enough fer me to buy a low-priced baby, | 15 | ····˘/·······/˘ |
| An' then, to suit the No'thern folks, who feel obleeged to say | 14 | ·············· |
| They hate an' cuss the very thing they vote fer every day, | 14 | ·····/˘····/˘· |
| Say you're assured I go full butt fer Liberty's diffusion | 14 | ··˘/·····/˘˘/˘ |
| An' made the purchis on'y jest to spite the Institootion;-- | 15 | ·····/˘········ |
| But, golly! there's the currier's hoss upon the pavement pawin'! | 15 | ·/˘··/˘····/˘·· |
| I'll be more 'xplicit in my next. | 8 | ········ |
| Dr. | 1 | · |
| To his share of work done in Mexico on partnership account, | 16 | ·······/˘··/˘·˘/ |
| sundry jobs, as below. | 6 | /˘···· |
| " killing, maiming, and wounding about 5,000 Mexicans, $2.00 | 11 | /˘/˘·/˘··/˘ |
| " slaughtering one woman carrying water to wounded, .10 | 12 | /˘·/˘/˘/˘·/˘ |
| " extra work on two different Sabbaths (one bombardment | 13 | /˘···/˘/˘·˘/˘ |
| and one assault) whereby the Mexicans were prevented | 13 | ··˘/···/˘·˘/˘ |
| from defiling themselves with the idolatries of high mass, 3.50 | 14 | ····˘/··˘/˘··· |
| "throwing an especially fortunate and Protestant bombshell | 13 | /˘·˘/˘/˘·/˘/· |
| into the Cathedral at Vera Cruz, whereby several female | 16 | ···˘/˘·/˘···/˘/· |
| Papists were slain at the altar, .50 | 8 | ······/˘ |
| "his proportion of cash paid for conquered territory, 1.75 | 14 | ·˘/˘····/˘/˘·˘ |
| " do. do. for conquering do. 1.50 | 7 | ···/˘˘· |
| "manuring do. with new superior compost called "American | 15 | ˘/˘···˘/˘/˘·˘/˘ |
| Citizen," .50 | 3 | /˘˘ |
| "extending the area of freedom and Protestantism, .01 | 14 | ˘/˘·/˘·/˘·/˘·˘ |
| "glory, .01 | 2 | /˘ |
| Immediate payment is requested. | 10 | ˘/˘˘/˘·˘/˘ |
| N. B. Thankful for former favors, U. S. requests a | 14 | ··/˘·/˘/˘··˘/· |
| continuance of patronage. Orders executed with neatness and | 16 | ˘/˘·/˘/˘/˘·˘·/˘· |
| despatch. Terms as low as those of any other contractor for | 16 | ˘/······/˘/˘/·˘· |
| the same kind and style of work. | 7 | ······· |
The reader shows the same poem with its rhymes coloured and a stress row above each line, the notes beside their stanzas, and any word's definition on a tap; the analysis page takes the whole book apart. How every part of this site was made.