The Married Man (Reservist of the Line)

The bachelor ’e fights for oneAs joyful as can be;But the married man don’t call it fun,Because ’e fights for three--For ’Im an’ ’Er an’ It(An’ Two an’ One makes Three)’E wants to finish ’is little bit,An’ ’e wants to go ’ome to ’is tea!

The bachelor pokes up ’is ’eadTo see if you are gone;But the married man lies down instead,An’ waits till the sights come on.For ’Im an’ ’Er an’ a hit(Direct or ricochee)’E wants to finish ’is little bit,An’ ’e wants to go ’ome to ’is tea.

The bachelor will miss you clearTo fight another day;But the married man, ’e says ’No fear!’’E wants you out of the wayOf ’Im an’ ’Er an’ It(An’ ’is road to ’is farm or the sea),’E wants to finish ’is little bit,An’ ’e wants to go ’ome to ’is tea.

The bachelor ’e fights ’is fightAn’ stretches out an’ snores;But the married man sits up all night--For ’e don’t like out o’ doors:’E’ll strain an’ listen an’ peerAn’ give the first alarm--For the sake o’ the breathin’ ’e’s used to ’earAn’ the ’ead on the thick of ’is arm.

The bachelor may risk ’is ’ideTo ’elp you when you’re downed;But the married man will wait besideTill the ambulance comes round.’E’ll take your ’ome addressAn’ all you’ve time to say,Or if ’e sees there’s ’ope, ’e’ll pressYour art’ry ’alf the day--

For ’Im an’ ’Er an’ It(An’ One from Three leaves Two),For ’e knows you wanted to finish your bit,An’ ’e knows ’oo’s wantin’ you.Yes, ’Im an’ ’Er an’ It(Our ’oly One in Three),We’re all of us anxious to finish our bit,An’ we want to get ’ome to our tea!

Yes, It an’ ’Er an’ ’Im,Which often makes me thinkThe married man must sink or swimAn’--’e can’t afford to sink!Oh ’Im an’ It an’ ’ErSince Adam an’ Eve began,So I’d rather fight with the bachelerAn’ be nursed by the married man!