Hamlet

Well!----Monsieur Brunel,How prospers now thy mighty undertaking,To join by a hollow way the Bankside friendsOf Rotherhithe, and Wapping,--Never be stopping,But poking, groping, in the dark keep makingAn archway, underneath the Dabs and Gudgeons,For Collier men and pitchy old Curmudgeons,To cross the water in inverse proportion,Walk under steam-boats under the keel’s ridge,To keep down all extortion,And without sculls to diddle London Bridge!In a fresh hunt, a new Great Bore to worry,Thou didst to earth thy human terriers follow,Hopeful at last from Middlesex to Surrey,To give us the “View hollow.”In short it was thy aim, right north and south,To put a pipe into old Thames’s mouth;Alas! half-way thou hadst proceeded, whenOld Thames, through roof, not water-proof,Came, like “a tide in the affairs of men;”And with a mighty stormy kind of roar,Reproachful of thy wrong,Burst out in that old songOf Incledon’s, beginning “Cease, rude Bore”--Sad is it, worthy of one’s tears,Just when one seems the most successful,To find one’s self o’er head and earsIn difficulties most distressful!Other great speculations have been nursed,Till want of proceeds laid them on a shelf;But thy concern was at the worst,When it began to liquidate itself!But now Dame Fortune has her false face hidden,And languishes thy Tunnel,--so to paint,Under a slow incurable complaint,Bed-ridden!

Why, when thus Thames--bed-bother’d--why repine!Do try a spare bed at the Serpentine!Yet let none think thee daz’d, or craz’d, or stupid;And sunk beneath thy own and Thames’s craft;Let them not style thee some Mechanic CupidPining and pouting o’er a broken shaft!I’ll tell thee with thy tunnel what to do;Light up thy boxes, build a bin or two,The wine does better than such water trades:Stick up a sign--the sign of the Bore’s Head;I’ve drawn it ready for thee in black lead,And make thy cellar subterrane,--Thy Shades?