The Psoriad
The King of Scotland, years and years ago,Convened his courtiers in a gallant rowAnd thus addressed them:
"Gentle sirs, from youAbundant counsel I have had, and true:What laws to make to serve the public weal;What laws of Nature's making to repeal;What old religion is the only true one,And what the greater merit of some new one;What friends of yours my favor have forgot;Which of your enemies against me plot.In harvests ample to augment my treasures,Behold the fruits of your sagacious measures!The punctual planets, to their periods just,Attest your wisdom and approve my trust.Lo! the reward your shining virtues bring:The grateful placemen bless their useful king!But while you quaff the nectar of my favorI mean somewhat to modify its flavorBy just infusing a peculiar dashOf tonic bitter in the calabash.And should you, too abstemious, disdain it,Egad! I'll hold your noses till you drain it!
"You know, you dogs, your master long has feltA keen distemper in the royal pelt--A testy, superficial irritation,Brought home, I fancy, from some foreign nation.For this a thousand simples you've prescribed--Unguents external, draughts to be imbibed.You've plundered Scotland of its plants, the seasYou've ravished, and despoiled the Hebrides,To brew me remedies which, in probation,Were sovereign only in their application.In vain, and eke in pain, have I appliedYour flattering unctions to my soul and hide:Physic and hope have been my daily food--I've swallowed treacle by the holy rood!
"Your wisdom, which sufficed to guide the yearAnd tame the seasons in their mad career,When set to higher purposes has failed meAnd added anguish to the ills that ailed me.Nor that alone, but each ambitious leechHis rivals' skill has labored to impeachBy hints equivocal in secret speech.For years, to conquer our respective broils,We've plied each other with pacific oils.In vain: your turbulence is unallayed,My flame unquenched; your rioting unstayed;My life so wretched from your strife to save itThat death were welcome did I dare to brave it.With zeal inspired by your intemperate pranks,My subjects muster in contending ranks.Those fling their banners to the startled breezeTo champion some royal ointment; theseThe standard of some royal purge displayAnd 'neath that ensign wage a wasteful fray!Brave tongues are thundering from sea to sea,Torrents of sweat roll reeking o'er the lea!My people perish in their martial fear,And rival bagpipes cleave the royal ear!
"Now, caitiffs, tremble, for this very hourYour injured sovereign shall assert his power!Behold this lotion, carefully compoundOf all the poisons you for me have found--Of biting washes such as tan the skin,And drastic drinks to vex the parts within.What aggravates an ailment will produce--I mean to rub you with this dreadful juice!Divided counsels you no more shall hatch--At last you shall unanimously scratch.Kneel, villains, kneel, and doff your shirts--God bless us!They'll seem, when you resume them, robes of Nessus!"
The sovereign ceased, and, sealing what he spoke,From Arthur's Seat confirming thunders broke.The conscious culprits, to their fate resigned,Sank to their knees, all piously inclined.This act, from high Ben Lomond where she floats,The thrifty goddess, Caledonia, notes.Glibly as nimble sixpence, down she tiltsHeadlong, and ravishes away their kilts,Tears off each plaid and all their shirts discloses,Removes each shirt and their broad backs exposes.The king advanced--then cursing fled amainDashing the phial to the stony plain(Where't straight became a fountain brimming o'er,Whence Father Tweed derives his liquid store)For lo! already on each back sans stitchThe red sign manual of the Rosy Witch!
Words in this poem 36
- repeal v. t.
- To recall; to summon again, as persons. [OF. repeler to call back, F. rappeler; pref. re- re- + OF. apeler, F. appeler, to call, L. appellare. See Appeal, and. cf. Repel.]
- punctual a.
- Consisting in a point; limited to a point; unextended. [F. ponctuel (cf. Sp.puntual, It. puntuale), from L. punctum point. See Point.]
- attest v. t.
- To bear witness to; to certify; to affirm to be true or genuine; as, to attest the truth of a writing, a copy of record. [L. attestari; ad + testari to bear witness: cf. F. attester.]
- quaff v. t.
- To drink with relish; to drink copiously of; to swallow in large draughts. [For quach, fr. Gael. & Ir. cuach a drinking cup; cf. L. caucus a drinking vessel. Cf. Quaigh.]
- calabash n.
- The common gourd (plant or fruit). [Sp. calabaza, or Pg. calaba, caba (cf. F. Calebasse), lit., a dry gourd, fr. Ar. qar', fem., a kind of gourd + aibas dry.]
- abstemious a.
- Abstaining from wine. [Orig. Latin sense.] [L. abstemius; ab, abs + root of temetum intoxicating drink.]
- egad interj.
- An exclamation expressing exultation or surprise, etc. [Euphemistic corruption of the oath, "by God."]
- brew v. t.
- To boil or seethe; to cook. [OE. brewen, AS. breówan; akin to D. brouwen, OHG. priuwan, MHG. briuwen, br, G. brauen, Icel. brugga, Sw. brygga, Dan. brygge, and perh. to L. defrutum must boi]
- probation n.
- The act of proving; also, that which proves anything; proof. [L. probatio, fr. probare to try, examine, prove: cf. F. probation. See Prove.]
- rood n.
- A representation in sculpture or in painting of the cross with Christ hanging on it. [AS. rr, D. roede rod, G. ruthe, rute, OHG. ruota. CF. Rod a measure.]
- career n.
- A race course: the ground run over. [F. carrière race course, high road, street, fr. L. carrus wagon. See Car.]
- impeach v. t.
- To hinder; to impede; to prevent. [OE. empeechier to prevent, hinder, bar, F. empêcher, L. impedicare to entangle; pref. im- in + pedica fetter, fr. pes, pedis, foot. See Foot, and Appeach, Dispa]
- respective a.
- Noticing with attention; hence, careful; wary; considerate. [Cf. F. respectif, LL. respectivus. See Respect.]
- strife n.
- The act of striving; earnest endeavor. [OF. estrif. See Strive.]
- muster n.
- Something shown for imitation; a pattern. [OE. moustre, OF. mostre, moustre, F. montre, LL. monstra. See Muster, v. t.]
- wage v. i.
- To bind one's self; to engage.
- thundering a.
- Emitting thunder.
- shall v. i.
- To owe; to be under obligation for. [OE. shal, schal, imp. sholde, scholde, AS. scal, sceal, I am obliged, imp. scolde, sceolde, inf. sculan; akin to OS. skulan, pres. skal, imp. skolda, D. zullen,]
- drastic a.
- Acting rapidly and violently; efficacious; powerful; -- opposed to bland; as, drastic purgatives. [Gr. drastique. See Drama.]
- ailment n.
- Indisposition; morbid affection of the body; -- not applied ordinarily to acute diseases.
- dreadful a.
- Full of dread or terror; fearful.
- kneel v. i.
- To bend the knee; to fall or rest on the knees; -- sometimes with down. [OE. knelen, cneolien; akin to D. knielen, Dan. knæle. See Knee.]
- doff v. t.
- To put off, as dress; to divest one's self of; hence, figuratively, to put or thrust away; to rid one's self of. And made us doff our easy robes of peace. [Do + off. See Do, v. t., 7.]
- resume n.
- A summing up; a condensed statement; an abridgment or brief recapitulation. [F. See Resume.]
- spoke n.
- The radius or ray of a wheel; one of the small bars which are inserted in the hub, or nave, and which serve to support the rim or felly. [OE. spoke, spake, AS, spaca; akin to D. speek, LG. speke, OHG. speihha, G. speiche. sq. root170. Cf. Spike a nail.]
- broke v. i.
- To transact business for another. Brome. [See Broker, and cf. Brook.]
- resigned a.
- Submissive; yielding; not disposed to resist or murmur.
- piously adv.
- In a pious manner.
- caledonia n.
- The ancient Latin name of Scotland; -- still used in poetry.
- glibly adv.
- In a glib manner; as, to speak glibly.
- backs n.
- Among leather dealers, the thickest and stoutest tanned hides.
- amain adv.
- With might; with full force; vigorously; violently; exceedingly. [Pref. a- + main. See 2d Main, n.]
- phial n.
- A glass vessel or bottle, especially a small bottle for medicines; a vial. [F. fiole, L. phiala a broad, flat, shallow cup or bowl, Gr. Vial.]
- brimming a.
- Full to the brim; overflowing.
- tweed n.
- A soft and flexible fabric for men's wear, made wholly of wool except in some inferior kinds, the wool being dyed, usually in two colors, before weaving. [Probably a corruption of twills. See Twill.]
- sans prep.
- Without; deprived or destitute of. Rarely used as an English word. [F., from L. sine without.]
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
The Psoriad is in the public domain. This text is taken from Shapes of Clay (1903), Project Gutenberg ebook #12658; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Ambrose Bierce, The Psoriad, in Shapes of Clay (1903), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #12658, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/bierce-shapes-of-clay/the-psoriad.html, id L28095.
Form and metre
The Psoriad is 88 lines in 6 verse paragraphs. It is in rhyming couplets, 93% of the lines: heroic couplets. The metre is iambic pentameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 90%).
See other poems in heroic couplets, other poems in iambic pentameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 AA- agoA · rowA · them
- 2 AABBCCDDEEFFGGHHIIJJ youA · trueA · wealB · repealB · oneC · oneC · forgotD · plotD · treasuresE · measuresE · justF · trustF · bringG · kingG · favorH · flavorH · dashI · calabashI · itJ · itJ
- 3 AABBCCDDBBEEFF feltA · peltA · irritationB · nationB · prescribedC · imbibedC · seasD · hebridesD · probationB · applicationB · appliedE · hideE · foodF · roodF
- 4 AABBCCCDDEEFFGGHHIIBBAA yearA · careerA · meB · meB · leechC · impeachC · speechC · broilsD · oilsD · unallayedE · unstayedE · itF · itF · pranksG · ranksG · breezeH · theseH · displayI · frayI · seaB · leaB · fearA · earA
- 5 AABBCCDDEEFF hourA · powerA · compoundB · foundB · skinC · withinC · produceD · juiceD · hatchE · scratchE · usF · nessusF
- 6 AABBCCDDEEFFGGHH spokeA · brokeA · resignedB · inclinedB · floatsC · notesC · tiltsD · kiltsD · disclosesE · exposesE · amainF · plainF · o'erG · storeG · stitchH · witchH
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic pentameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| The King of Scotland, years and years ago, | 10 | ···/˘···˘/ |
| Convened his courtiers in a gallant row | 10 | ˘/·/˘··/˘· |
| And thus addressed them: | 5 | ··˘/· |
| "Gentle sirs, from you | 5 | /˘··· |
| Abundant counsel I have had, and true: | 10 | ˘/˘/˘····· |
| What laws to make to serve the public weal; | 10 | ·······/˘· |
| What laws of Nature's making to repeal; | 10 | ···/˘/˘·˘/ |
| What old religion is the only true one, | 11 | ··˘/˘··/˘·· |
| And what the greater merit of some new one; | 11 | ···/˘/˘···· |
| What friends of yours my favor have forgot; | 10 | ·····/˘·˘/ |
| Which of your enemies against me plot. | 10 | ···/˘˘···· |
| In harvests ample to augment my treasures, | 11 | ·/˘/˘·˘/·/˘ |
| Behold the fruits of your sagacious measures! | 11 | ˘/····˘/˘/˘ |
| The punctual planets, to their periods just, | 10 | ·/˘/˘··/˘· |
| Attest your wisdom and approve my trust. | 10 | ˘/·/˘·˘/·· |
| Lo! the reward your shining virtues bring: | 10 | ··˘/·/˘/˘· |
| The grateful placemen bless their useful king! | 11 | ·/˘·····/˘· |
| But while you quaff the nectar of my favor | 11 | ·····/˘··/˘ |
| I mean somewhat to modify its flavor | 11 | ··//·/˘··/˘ |
| By just infusing a peculiar dash | 10 | ··˘/˘·˘/˘· |
| Of tonic bitter in the calabash. | 10 | ·/˘/˘··/˘˘ |
| And should you, too abstemious, disdain it, | 11 | ····˘/˘˘˘/· |
| Egad! I'll hold your noses till you drain it! | 11 | ˘/···/˘···· |
| "You know, you dogs, your master long has felt | 10 | ·····/˘··· |
| A keen distemper in the royal pelt-- | 10 | ··˘/˘··/˘· |
| A testy, superficial irritation, | 11 | ·/˘·˘/˘·˘/˘ |
| Brought home, I fancy, from some foreign nation. | 11 | ···/˘··/˘/˘ |
| For this a thousand simples you've prescribed-- | 10 | ···/˘/˘·˘/ |
| Unguents external, draughts to be imbibed. | 10 | ··˘/˘···˘/ |
| You've plundered Scotland of its plants, the seas | 10 | ·/˘/˘····· |
| You've ravished, and despoiled the Hebrides, | 10 | ·······/˘˘ |
| To brew me remedies which, in probation, | 11 | ···/˘˘··˘/˘ |
| Were sovereign only in their application. | 11 | ·/˘/˘···˘/˘ |
| In vain, and eke in pain, have I applied | 10 | ········˘/ |
| Your flattering unctions to my soul and hide: | 10 | ·/˘······· |
| Physic and hope have been my daily food-- | 10 | /˘·····/˘· |
| I've swallowed treacle by the holy rood! | 10 | ·/˘/˘··/˘· |
| "Your wisdom, which sufficed to guide the year | 10 | ·/˘·˘/···· |
| And tame the seasons in their mad career, | 10 | ···/˘···˘/ |
| When set to higher purposes has failed me | 10 | ···//˘˘··· |
| And added anguish to the ills that ailed me. | 11 | ·/˘/˘······ |
| Nor that alone, but each ambitious leech | 10 | ··˘/··˘/˘· |
| His rivals' skill has labored to impeach | 10 | ·/˘··/˘·˘/ |
| By hints equivocal in secret speech. | 10 | ··˘/˘˘·/˘· |
| For years, to conquer our respective broils, | 10 | ···/˘/˘/˘· |
| We've plied each other with pacific oils. | 10 | ···/˘·˘/˘· |
| In vain: your turbulence is unallayed, | 10 | ···/˘˘···˘ |
| My flame unquenched; your rioting unstayed; | 10 | ····˘·/˘˘· |
| My life so wretched from your strife to save it | 11 | ···/˘······ |
| That death were welcome did I dare to brave it. | 11 | ···/˘······ |
| With zeal inspired by your intemperate pranks, | 10 | ··˘/··˘/˘· |
| My subjects muster in contending ranks. | 10 | ·/˘/˘·˘/˘· |
| Those fling their banners to the startled breeze | 10 | ···/˘··/˘· |
| To champion some royal ointment; these | 10 | ·/˘˘·/˘/˘· |
| The standard of some royal purge display | 10 | ·/˘··/˘·˘/ |
| And 'neath that ensign wage a wasteful fray! | 10 | ···/˘··/˘· |
| Brave tongues are thundering from sea to sea, | 10 | ···/˘˘···· |
| Torrents of sweat roll reeking o'er the lea! | 10 | /˘···/˘··· |
| My people perish in their martial fear, | 10 | ·/˘/˘··/˘· |
| And rival bagpipes cleave the royal ear! | 10 | ·/˘/···/˘· |
| "Now, caitiffs, tremble, for this very hour | 11 | ···/˘··/˘/˘ |
| Your injured sovereign shall assert his power! | 11 | ·/˘/˘·˘/·/˘ |
| Behold this lotion, carefully compound | 10 | ˘/·/˘/˘˘˘/ |
| Of all the poisons you for me have found-- | 10 | ···/˘····· |
| Of biting washes such as tan the skin, | 10 | ·/˘/˘····· |
| And drastic drinks to vex the parts within. | 10 | ·/˘······· |
| What aggravates an ailment will produce-- | 10 | ·/˘··/˘·˘/ |
| I mean to rub you with this dreadful juice! | 10 | ·······/˘· |
| Divided counsels you no more shall hatch-- | 10 | ˘/˘/˘····· |
| At last you shall unanimously scratch. | 10 | ····˘/˘˘˘· |
| Kneel, villains, kneel, and doff your shirts--God bless us! | 11 | ·/˘········ |
| They'll seem, when you resume them, robes of Nessus!" | 11 | ····˘/····· |
| The sovereign ceased, and, sealing what he spoke, | 10 | ·/˘··/˘··· |
| From Arthur's Seat confirming thunders broke. | 10 | ·/˘·˘/˘/˘· |
| The conscious culprits, to their fate resigned, | 10 | ·/˘/˘···˘/ |
| Sank to their knees, all piously inclined. | 10 | ·····/˘˘˘/ |
| This act, from high Ben Lomond where she floats, | 10 | ·········· |
| The thrifty goddess, Caledonia, notes. | 10 | ·/˘/˘·˘/˘· |
| Glibly as nimble sixpence, down she tilts | 10 | /˘·/˘/˘··· |
| Headlong, and ravishes away their kilts, | 10 | /·····˘/·· |
| Tears off each plaid and all their shirts discloses, | 11 | ········˘/˘ |
| Removes each shirt and their broad backs exposes. | 11 | ˘/······˘/˘ |
| The king advanced--then cursing fled amain | 10 | ··˘/·/˘·˘/ |
| Dashing the phial to the stony plain | 10 | /˘·/˘··/˘· |
| (Where't straight became a fountain brimming o'er, | 11 | ···˘/·/˘/˘· |
| Whence Father Tweed derives his liquid store) | 10 | ·/˘·˘/·/˘· |
| For lo! already on each back sans stitch | 10 | ··˘/˘····· |
| The red sign manual of the Rosy Witch! | 10 | ···/˘··/˘· |
The reader shows the same poem with its rhymes coloured and a stress row above each line, the notes beside their stanzas, and any word's definition on a tap; the analysis page takes the whole book apart. How every part of this site was made.