The Humorist
"What is that, mother?""The funny man, child.His hands are black, but his heart is mild."
"May I touch him, mother?""'T were foolishly done:He is slightly touched already, my son."
"O, why does he wear such a ghastly grin?""That's the outward sign of a joke within."
"Will he crack it, mother?""Not so, my saint;'T is meant for the Saturday Livercomplaint."
"Does he suffer, mother?""God help him, yes!--A thousand and fifty kinds of distress."
"What makes him sweat so?""The demons that lurkIn the fear of having to go to work."
"Why doesn't he end, then, his life with a rope?""Abolition of Hell has deprived him of hope."
Words in this poem
- funny a.
- Droll; comical; amusing; laughable. Funny bone. See crazy bone, under Crazy. [From Fun.]
- grin n.
- A snare; a gin. [AS. grin.]
- saturday n.
- The seventh or last day of the week; the day following Friday and preceding Sunday. [OE. Saterday, AS. Sæterdæg, Sæterndæg, Sæternesdæg, literally, Saturn's day, fr. L. Saturnus Saturn + AS. dæg day; cf. L. dies Saturni.]
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
The Humorist is in the public domain. This text is taken from Shapes of Clay (1903), Project Gutenberg ebook #12658; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Ambrose Bierce, The Humorist, in Shapes of Clay (1903), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #12658, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/bierce-shapes-of-clay/the-humorist.html, id L28121.
Form and metre
The Humorist is 19 lines in 7 verse paragraphs. It is in rhyming couplets, 74% of the lines: heroic couplets. This poem did not settle on a metre of its own; the book it comes from is in iambic pentameter.
See other poems in heroic couplets, other poems in iambic pentameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 -AA mother · childA · mildA
- 2 -AA mother · doneA · sonA
- 3 AA grinA · withinA
- 4 -AA mother · saintA · livercomplaintA
- 5 -AA mother · yesA · distressA
- 6 -AA so · lurkA · workA
- 7 AA ropeA · hopeA
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic pentameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| "What is that, mother?" | 5 | ···/˘ |
| "The funny man, child. | 5 | ·/˘·· |
| His hands are black, but his heart is mild." | 9 | ········· |
| "May I touch him, mother?" | 6 | ····/˘ |
| "'T were foolishly done: | 6 | ··/˘˘· |
| He is slightly touched already, my son." | 10 | ··/˘·˘/˘·· |
| "O, why does he wear such a ghastly grin?" | 10 | ·······/˘· |
| "That's the outward sign of a joke within." | 10 | ··/˘······ |
| "Will he crack it, mother?" | 6 | ····/˘ |
| "Not so, my saint; | 4 | ···· |
| 'T is meant for the Saturday Livercomplaint." | 11 | ·····/˘···· |
| "Does he suffer, mother?" | 6 | ··/˘/˘ |
| "God help him, yes!-- | 4 | ···· |
| A thousand and fifty kinds of distress." | 10 | ·/˘·/˘··˘/ |
| "What makes him sweat so?" | 5 | ····· |
| "The demons that lurk | 5 | ·/˘·· |
| In the fear of having to go to work." | 10 | ····/˘···· |
| "Why doesn't he end, then, his life with a rope?" | 11 | ·/˘········ |
| "Abolition of Hell has deprived him of hope." | 12 | ·˘/˘···˘/··· |
The reader shows the same poem with its rhymes coloured and a stress row above each line, the notes beside their stanzas, and any word's definition on a tap; the analysis page takes the whole book apart. How every part of this site was made.