Thanksgiving
The Superintendent of an Almshouse. A Pauper.
SUPERINTENDENT:
So you're unthankful--you'll not eat the bird?You sit about the place all day and gird.I understand you'll not attend the ballThat's to be given to-night in Pauper Hall.
PAUPER:
Why, that is true, precisely as you've heard:I have no teeth and I will eat no bird.
SUPERINTENDENT:
Ah! see how good is Providence. BecauseOf teeth He has denuded both your jawsThe fowl's made tender; you can overcome itBy suction; or at least--well, you can gum it,Attesting thus the dictum of the preachersThat Providence is good to all His creatures--Turkeys excepted. Come, ungrateful friend,If our Thanksgiving dinner you'll attendYou shall say grace--ask God to bless at leastThe soft and liquid portions of the feast.
PAUPER.
Without those teeth my speech is rather thick--He'll hardly understand Gum Arabic.No, I'll not dine to-day. As to the ball,'Tis known to you that I've no legs at all.I had the gout--hereditary; so,As it could not be cornered in my toeThey cut my legs off in the fond beliefThat shortening me would make my anguish brief.Lacking my legs I could not prosecuteWith any good advantage a pursuit;And so, because my father chose to courtHeaven's favor with his ortolans and Port(Thanksgiving every day!) the Lord suppliedSaws for my legs, an almshouse for my prideAnd, once a year, a bird for my inside.No, I'll not dance--my light fantastic toeTook to its heels some twenty years ago.Some small repairs would be required for puttingMy feelings on a saltatory footing.
(Sings)
O the legless man's an unhappy chap--Tum-hi, tum-hi, tum-he o'haddy.The favors o' fortune fall not in his lap--Tum-hi, tum-heedle-do hum.The plums of office avoid his plateNo matter how much he may stump the State--Tum-hi, ho-heeee.The grass grows never beneath his feet,But he cannot hope to make both ends meet--Tum-hi.With a gleeless eye and a somber heart,He plays the role of his mortal part:Wholly himself he can never be.O, a soleless corporation is he!Tum.
SUPERINTENDENT:
The chapel bell is calling, thankless friend,Balls you may not, but church you shall, attend.Some recognition cannot be deniedTo the great mercy that has turned asideThe sword of death from us and let it fallUpon the people's necks in Montreal;That spared our city, steeple, roof and dome,And drowned the Texans out of house and home;Blessed all our continent with peace, to floodThe Balkan with a cataclysm of blood.Compared with blessings of so high degree,Your private woes look mighty small--to me.
Words in this poem
- almshouse n.
- A house appropriated for the use of the poor; a poorhouse.
- pauper n.
- A poor person; especially, one development on private or public charity. Also used adjectively; as, pouper immigrants, pouper labor. [L. See Poor.]
- dictum n.
- An authoritative statement; a dogmatic saying; an apothegm. [L., neuter of dictus, p. p. of dicere to say. See Diction, and cf. Ditto.]
- ungrateful a.
- Not grateful; not thankful for favors; making no returns, or making ill return for kindness, attention, etc.; ingrateful. South.
- thanksgiving n.
- The act of rending thanks, or expressing gratitude for favors or mercies.
- shall v. i.
- To owe; to be under obligation for. [OE. shal, schal, imp. sholde, scholde, AS. scal, sceal, I am obliged, imp. scolde, sceolde, inf. sculan; akin to OS. skulan, pres. skal, imp. skolda, D. zullen,]
- dine v. i.
- To eat the principal regular meal of the day; to take dinner. [F. dîner, OF. disner, LL. disnare, contr. fr. an assumed disjunare; dis- + an assumed junare (OF. juner) to fast, for L. jejunare, fr. jejunus fasting. See Jeju]
- cornered p. a.
- 1 Having corners or angles.
- legless a.
- Not having a leg.
- avoid v. t.
- To empty. Wyclif. [OF. esvuidier, es (L. ex) + vuidier, voidier, to empty. See Void, a.]
- thankless a.
- Not acknowledging favors; not expressing thankfulness; unthankful; ungrateful.
- continent a.
- Serving to restrain or limit; restraining; opposing. [L. continens, -entis, prop., p. pr. of continere to hold together, to repress: cf. F. continent. See Contain.]
- cataclysm n.
- An extensive overflow or sweeping flood of water; a deluge. [L. cataclysmos, Gr. cataclysme.]
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
Thanksgiving is in the public domain. This text is taken from Shapes of Clay (1903), Project Gutenberg ebook #12658; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Ambrose Bierce, Thanksgiving, in Shapes of Clay (1903), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #12658, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/bierce-shapes-of-clay/thanksgiving.html, id L28098.
Form and metre
Thanksgiving is 69 lines in 13 verse paragraphs. It is in rhyming couplets, 70% of the lines: heroic couplets. The metre is iambic pentameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 87%).
See other poems in heroic couplets, other poems in iambic pentameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 3 AABB birdA · girdA · ballB · hallB
- 5 AA heardA · birdA
- 7 AABBCCDDEE becauseA · jawsA · itB · itB · preachersC · creaturesC · friendD · attendD · leastE · feastE
- 9 AABBCCDDEEFFGGGCCHH thickA · arabicA · ballB · allB · soC · toeC · beliefD · briefD · prosecuteE · pursuitE · courtF · portF · suppliedG · prideG · insideG · toeC · agoC · puttingH · footingH
- 11 A-A-BB-CCDEEDD- chapA · o'haddy · lapA · hum · plateB · stateB · heeee · feetC · meetC · hiD · heartE · partE · beD · heD · tum
- 13 AABBCCDDEEFF friendA · attendA · deniedB · asideB · fallC · montrealC · domeD · homeD · floodE · bloodE · degreeF · meF
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic pentameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| The Superintendent of an Almshouse. A Pauper. | 12 | ··˘/˘··/˘·/˘ |
| SUPERINTENDENT: | 5 | ·˘˘/˘ |
| So you're unthankful--you'll not eat the bird? | 10 | ·········· |
| You sit about the place all day and gird. | 10 | ·········· |
| I understand you'll not attend the ball | 10 | ··˘/··˘/·· |
| That's to be given to-night in Pauper Hall. | 10 | ···/···/˘· |
| PAUPER: | 2 | /˘ |
| Why, that is true, precisely as you've heard: | 10 | ····˘/˘··· |
| I have no teeth and I will eat no bird. | 10 | ·········· |
| SUPERINTENDENT: | 5 | ·˘˘/˘ |
| Ah! see how good is Providence. Because | 10 | ·····/˘˘·· |
| Of teeth He has denuded both your jaws | 10 | ····˘/˘··· |
| The fowl's made tender; you can overcome it | 11 | ···/˘··/˘·· |
| By suction; or at least--well, you can gum it, | 11 | ·/˘········ |
| Attesting thus the dictum of the preachers | 11 | ˘/˘··/˘··/˘ |
| That Providence is good to all His creatures-- | 11 | ·/˘˘·····/˘ |
| Turkeys excepted. Come, ungrateful friend, | 10 | /˘˘/˘·˘/˘· |
| If our Thanksgiving dinner you'll attend | 10 | ·/·/˘/˘·˘/ |
| You shall say grace--ask God to bless at least | 10 | ·········· |
| The soft and liquid portions of the feast. | 10 | ···/˘/˘··· |
| PAUPER. | 2 | /˘ |
| Without those teeth my speech is rather thick-- | 10 | ·······/˘· |
| He'll hardly understand Gum Arabic. | 10 | ·/˘·˘/·/˘˘ |
| No, I'll not dine to-day. As to the ball, | 10 | ·········· |
| 'Tis known to you that I've no legs at all. | 10 | ·········· |
| I had the gout--hereditary; so, | 10 | ····˘/˘·˘· |
| As it could not be cornered in my toe | 10 | ·····/˘··· |
| They cut my legs off in the fond belief | 10 | ········˘/ |
| That shortening me would make my anguish brief. | 10 | ·/˘····/˘· |
| Lacking my legs I could not prosecute | 10 | /˘·····/˘· |
| With any good advantage a pursuit; | 10 | ·/˘·˘/˘·˘/ |
| And so, because my father chose to court | 10 | ·····/˘··· |
| Heaven's favor with his ortolans and Port | 11 | /˘/˘······· |
| (Thanksgiving every day!) the Lord supplied | 10 | ·/˘/˘···˘/ |
| Saws for my legs, an almshouse for my pride | 10 | ·····/˘··· |
| And, once a year, a bird for my inside. | 10 | ········˘/ |
| No, I'll not dance--my light fantastic toe | 10 | ······˘/˘· |
| Took to its heels some twenty years ago. | 10 | ·····/˘·˘/ |
| Some small repairs would be required for putting | 11 | ··˘/··˘/·/˘ |
| My feelings on a saltatory footing. | 11 | ·/˘··/˘˘˘/˘ |
| (Sings) | 1 | · |
| O the legless man's an unhappy chap-- | 10 | ··/˘··˘/˘· |
| Tum-hi, tum-hi, tum-he o'haddy. | 9 | ········· |
| The favors o' fortune fall not in his lap-- | 11 | ·/˘·/˘····· |
| Tum-hi, tum-heedle-do hum. | 7 | ······· |
| The plums of office avoid his plate | 9 | ···/˘˘/·· |
| No matter how much he may stump the State-- | 10 | ·/˘······· |
| Tum-hi, ho-heeee. | 4 | ···· |
| The grass grows never beneath his feet, | 9 | ···/˘···· |
| But he cannot hope to make both ends meet-- | 10 | ··/˘······ |
| Tum-hi. | 2 | ·· |
| With a gleeless eye and a somber heart, | 10 | ·······/˘· |
| He plays the role of his mortal part: | 9 | ······/˘· |
| Wholly himself he can never be. | 9 | /˘˘/··/˘· |
| O, a soleless corporation is he! | 11 | ······˘/˘·· |
| Tum. | 1 | · |
| SUPERINTENDENT: | 5 | ·˘˘/˘ |
| The chapel bell is calling, thankless friend, | 10 | ·/˘··/˘/˘· |
| Balls you may not, but church you shall, attend. | 10 | ········˘/ |
| Some recognition cannot be denied | 10 | ··˘/˘/˘·˘/ |
| To the great mercy that has turned aside | 10 | ···/˘···˘/ |
| The sword of death from us and let it fall | 10 | ·········· |
| Upon the people's necks in Montreal; | 10 | ···/˘···˘/ |
| That spared our city, steeple, roof and dome, | 10 | ··//˘/˘··· |
| And drowned the Texans out of house and home; | 10 | ···/˘····· |
| Blessed all our continent with peace, to flood | 10 | ··//˘˘···· |
| The Balkan with a cataclysm of blood. | 11 | ·/˘··/˘·˘·· |
| Compared with blessings of so high degree, | 10 | ˘/·/˘···˘/ |
| Your private woes look mighty small--to me. | 10 | ·/˘··/˘··· |
The reader shows the same poem with its rhymes coloured and a stress row above each line, the notes beside their stanzas, and any word's definition on a tap; the analysis page takes the whole book apart. How every part of this site was made.