An Unmerry Christmas
Christmas, you tell me, comes but once a year.One place it never comes, and that is here.Here, in these pages no good wishes spring,No well-worn greetings tediously ring--For Christmas greetings are like pots of ore:The hollower they are they ring the more.Here shall no holly cast a spiny shade,Nor mistletoe my solitude invade,No trinket-laden vegetable come,No jorum steam with Sheolate of rum.No shrilling children shall their voices rear.Hurrah for Christmas without Christmas cheer!
No presents, if you please--I know too wellWhat Herbert Spencer, if he didn't tell(I know not if he did) yet might have toldOf present-giving in the days of old,When Early Man with gifts propitiatedThe chiefs whom most he doubted, feared and hated,Or tendered them in hope to reap some rudeAdvantage from the taker's gratitude.Since thus the Gift its origin derives(How much of its first character survivesYou know as well as I) my stocking's tied,My pocket buttoned--with my soul inside.I save my money and I save my pride.
Dinner? Yes; thank you--just a human bodyDone to a nutty brown, and a tear toddyTo give me appetite; and as for drink,About a half a jug of blood, I think,Will do; for still I love the red, red wine,Coagulating well, with wrinkles fineFretting the satin surface of its flood.O tope of kings--divine Falernian--blood!
Duse take the shouting fowls upon the limb,The kneeling cattle and the rising hymn!Has not a pagan rights to be regarded--His heart assaulted and his ear bombardedWith sentiments and sounds that good old PanEven in his demonium would ban?
No, friends--no Christmas here, for I have swornTo keep my heart hard and my knees unworn.Enough you have of jester, player, priest:I as the skeleton attend your feast,In the mad revelry to make a lullWith shaken finger and with bobbing skull.However you my services may flout,Philosophy disdain and reason doubt,I mean to hold in customary state,My dismal revelry and celebrateMy yearly rite until the crack o' doom,Ignore the cheerful season's warmth and bloomAnd cultivate an oasis of gloom.
Words in this poem
- shall v. i.
- To owe; to be under obligation for. [OE. shal, schal, imp. sholde, scholde, AS. scal, sceal, I am obliged, imp. scolde, sceolde, inf. sculan; akin to OS. skulan, pres. skal, imp. skolda, D. zullen,]
- jorum n.
- A large drinking vessel; also, its contents. [Perh. corrupted fr. jorden an earthen pot.]
- hurrah interj.
- A word used as a shout of joy, triumph, applause, encouragement, or welcome. [Cf. G., Dan., & Sw. hurra. Cf. Huzza.]
- reap n.
- A bundle of grain; a handful of grain laid down by the reaper as it is cut. Wright. [Cf. AS. rip harvest. See Reap, v.]
- thank n.
- A expression of gratitude; an acknowledgment expressive of a sense of favor or kindness received; obligation, claim, or desert, or gratitude; -- now generally used in the plural. [AS. Þanc, Þonc, thanks, favor, thought; akin to OS. thank favor, pleasure, thanks, D. & G. dank thanks, Icel. Þ\'94kk, Dan. tak, Sw. tack, Goth. Þagks thanks; -]
- nutty a.
- Abounding in nuts.
- toddy n.
- A juice drawn from various kinds of palms in the East Indies; or, a spirituous liquor procured from it by fermentation. [Formed from Hind. ta the juice of the palmyra tree, popularly, toddy, fr. ta the palmyra tree, Skr. tala.]
- tope n.
- A moundlike Buddhist sepulcher, or memorial monument. often erected over a Buddhish relic. [Probably from Skr. stpa a tope, astupa, through Prakrin tppo.]
- duse n.
- A demon or spirit. See Deuce.
- lull v. t.
- To cause to rest by soothing influences; to compose; to calm; to soothe; to quiet. [Akin to OD. lullen to sing to sleep, G. lullen, Dan. lulle, Sw. lulla; all of imitative origin. Cf. Loll, Lollard.]
- dismal a.
- Fatal; ill-omened; unlucky. [Formerly a noun; e. g., "I trow it was in the dismalle." Chaucer. Of uncertain origin; but perh. (as suggested by Skeat) from OF. disme, F. dîme, tithe, the phr]
- ignore v. t.
- To be ignorant of or not acquainted with. [L. ignorare; pref. in- not + the root of gnarus knowing, noscere to become acquainted with. See Know, and cf. Narrate.]
- oasis n.
- A fertile or green spot in a waste or desert, esp. in a sandy desert.
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
An Unmerry Christmas is in the public domain. This text is taken from Shapes of Clay (1903), Project Gutenberg ebook #12658; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Ambrose Bierce, An Unmerry Christmas, in Shapes of Clay (1903), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #12658, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/bierce-shapes-of-clay/an-unmerry-christmas.html, id L28028.
Form and metre
An Unmerry Christmas is 52 lines in 5 verse paragraphs. It is in rhyming couplets, 96% of the lines: heroic couplets. The metre is iambic pentameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 90%).
See other poems in heroic couplets, other poems in iambic pentameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 AABBCCDDEEAA yearA · hereA · springB · ringB · oreC · moreC · shadeD · invadeD · comeE · rumE · rearA · cheerA
- 2 AABBCCDDEEFFF wellA · tellA · toldB · oldB · propitiatedC · hatedC · rudeD · gratitudeD · derivesE · survivesE · tiedF · insideF · prideF
- 3 AABBCCDD bodyA · toddyA · drinkB · thinkB · wineC · fineC · floodD · bloodD
- 4 AABBCC limbA · hymnA · regardedB · bombardedB · panC · banC
- 5 AABBCCDDEEFFF swornA · unwornA · priestB · feastB · lullC · skullC · floutD · doubtD · stateE · celebrateE · doomF · bloomF · gloomF
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against iambic pentameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| Christmas, you tell me, comes but once a year. | 10 | /˘········ |
| One place it never comes, and that is here. | 10 | ···/˘····· |
| Here, in these pages no good wishes spring, | 10 | ···/˘··/˘· |
| No well-worn greetings tediously ring-- | 10 | ···/˘/˘˘˘· |
| For Christmas greetings are like pots of ore: | 10 | ·/˘/˘····· |
| The hollower they are they ring the more. | 10 | ·········· |
| Here shall no holly cast a spiny shade, | 10 | ···/˘··/˘· |
| Nor mistletoe my solitude invade, | 10 | ·/˘··/˘·˘/ |
| No trinket-laden vegetable come, | 9 | ·/˘/˘/˘˘· |
| No jorum steam with Sheolate of rum. | 9 | ·/˘······ |
| No shrilling children shall their voices rear. | 10 | ·/˘/˘··/˘· |
| Hurrah for Christmas without Christmas cheer! | 10 | ˘/·/˘··/˘· |
| No presents, if you please--I know too well | 10 | ·/˘······· |
| What Herbert Spencer, if he didn't tell | 10 | ·/˘/˘··/˘· |
| (I know not if he did) yet might have told | 10 | ·········· |
| Of present-giving in the days of old, | 10 | ·/˘/˘····· |
| When Early Man with gifts propitiated | 10 | ·/˘······· |
| The chiefs whom most he doubted, feared and hated, | 11 | ·····/˘··/˘ |
| Or tendered them in hope to reap some rude | 10 | ·/˘······· |
| Advantage from the taker's gratitude. | 10 | ˘/˘··/˘/˘· |
| Since thus the Gift its origin derives | 10 | ·····/˘˘˘/ |
| (How much of its first character survives | 10 | ·····/˘˘˘/ |
| You know as well as I) my stocking's tied, | 10 | ·······/˘· |
| My pocket buttoned--with my soul inside. | 10 | ·/˘/˘···˘/ |
| I save my money and I save my pride. | 10 | ···/˘····· |
| Dinner? Yes; thank you--just a human body | 11 | /˘·····/˘/˘ |
| Done to a nutty brown, and a tear toddy | 11 | ···/˘····/˘ |
| To give me appetite; and as for drink, | 10 | ···/˘····· |
| About a half a jug of blood, I think, | 10 | ·········· |
| Will do; for still I love the red, red wine, | 10 | ·········· |
| Coagulating well, with wrinkles fine | 10 | ˘/˘·˘··/˘· |
| Fretting the satin surface of its flood. | 10 | /˘·/˘/˘··· |
| O tope of kings--divine Falernian--blood! | 11 | ····˘/˘/˘˘· |
| Duse take the shouting fowls upon the limb, | 10 | ···/˘····· |
| The kneeling cattle and the rising hymn! | 10 | ·/˘/˘··/˘· |
| Has not a pagan rights to be regarded-- | 11 | ···/˘···˘/˘ |
| His heart assaulted and his ear bombarded | 11 | ··˘/˘···˘/˘ |
| With sentiments and sounds that good old Pan | 10 | ·/˘˘······ |
| Even in his demonium would ban? | 9 | /˘······· |
| No, friends--no Christmas here, for I have sworn | 10 | ···/˘····· |
| To keep my heart hard and my knees unworn. | 10 | ·········· |
| Enough you have of jester, player, priest: | 10 | ˘/···/˘/˘· |
| I as the skeleton attend your feast, | 10 | ···/˘˘˘/·· |
| In the mad revelry to make a lull | 10 | ···/˘˘···· |
| With shaken finger and with bobbing skull. | 10 | ·/˘/˘··/˘· |
| However you my services may flout, | 10 | ·/˘··/˘˘·· |
| Philosophy disdain and reason doubt, | 10 | ˘/˘˘˘/·/˘· |
| I mean to hold in customary state, | 10 | ·····/˘·˘· |
| My dismal revelry and celebrate | 10 | ·/˘/˘˘·/˘· |
| My yearly rite until the crack o' doom, | 10 | ·/˘······· |
| Ignore the cheerful season's warmth and bloom | 10 | ˘/·/˘/˘··· |
| And cultivate an oasis of gloom. | 10 | ·/˘··˘/˘·· |
The reader shows the same poem with its rhymes coloured and a stress row above each line, the notes beside their stanzas, and any word's definition on a tap; the analysis page takes the whole book apart. How every part of this site was made.