An Offer of Marriage
Once I "dipt into the future far as human eye could see,"And saw--it was not Sandow, nor John Sullivan, but she--The Emancipated Woman, who was weeping as she ranHere and there for the discovery of Expurgated Man.But the sun of Evolution ever rose and ever set,And that tardiest of mortals hadn't evoluted yet.Hence the tears that she cascaded, hence the sighs that tore apartAll the tendinous connections of her indurated heart.Cried Emancipated Woman, as she wearied of the search:"In Advancing I have left myself distinctly in the lurch!Seeking still a worthy partner, from the land of brutes and dudesI have penetrated rashly into manless solitudes.Now without a mate of any kind where am I?--that's to say,Where shall I be to-morrow?--where exert my rightful swayAnd the purifying strength of my emancipated mind?Can solitude be lifted up, vacuity refined?Calling, calling from the shadows in the rear of my Advance--From the Region of Unprogress in the Dark Domain of Chance--Long I heard the Unevolvable beseeching my returnTo share the degradation he's reluctant to unlearn.But I fancy I detected--though I pray it wasn't that--A low reverberation, like an echo in a hat.So I've held my way regardless, evoluting year by year,Till I'm what you now behold me--or would if you were here--A condensed Emancipation and a Purifier proudAn Independent Entity appropriately loud!Independent? Yes, in spirit, but (O, woful, woful state!)Doomed to premature extinction by privation of a mate--To extinction or reversion, for Unexpurgated ManStill awaits me in the backward if I sicken of the van.O the horrible dilemma!--to be odiously linkedWith an Undeveloped Species, or become a Type Extinct!"
As Emancipated Woman wailed her sorrow to the air,Stalking out of desolation came a being strange and rare--Plato's Man!--bipedal, featherless from mandible to rump,Its wings two quilless flippers and its tail a plumeless stump.First it scratched and then it clucked, as if in hospitable termsIt invited her to banquet on imaginary worms.Then it strutted up before her with a lifting of the head,And in accents of affection and of sympathy it said:"My estate is some 'at 'umble, but I'm qualified to drawNear the hymeneal altar and whack up my heart and clawTo Emancipated Anything as walks upon the earth;And them things is at your service for whatever they are worth.I'm sure to be congenial, marm, nor e'er deserve a scowl--I'm Emancipated Rooster, I am Expurgated Fowl!"
From the future and its wonders I withdrew my gaze, and thenWrote this wild unfestive prophecy about the Coming Hen.
Words in this poem 24
- tore n.
- The dead grass that remains on mowing land in winter and spring. Mortimer. [Probably from the root of tear; cf. W. tór a break, cut, tóri to break, cut.]
- tendinous a.
- Pertaining to a tendon; of the nature of tendon. [Cf. F. tendineux.]
- lurch v. t.
- To leave in the lurch; to cheat.
- manless a.
- Destitute of men. Bakon.
- shall v. i.
- To owe; to be under obligation for. [OE. shal, schal, imp. sholde, scholde, AS. scal, sceal, I am obliged, imp. scolde, sceolde, inf. sculan; akin to OS. skulan, pres. skal, imp. skolda, D. zullen,]
- exert v. t.
- To thrust forth; to emit; to push out. [L. exertus, exsertus, p.p. of exerere, exserere, to thrust out; ex out + serere to join or bind together. See Series, and cf. Exsert.]
- rightful a.
- Righteous; upright; just; good; -- said of persons.
- vacuity n.
- The quality or state of being vacuous, or not filled; emptiness; vacancy; as, vacuity of mind; vacuity of countenance. [L. vacuitas. See Vacuous.]
- unlearn v. t.
- To forget, as what has been learned; to lose from memory; also, to learn the contrary of. [1st pref. un- + learn.]
- purifier n.
- One who, or that which, purifies or cleanses; a cleanser; a refiner.
- appropriately adv.
- In an appropriate or proper manner; fitly; properly.
- woful a.
- Full of woe; sorrowful; distressed with grief or calamity; afflicted; wretched; unhappy; sad.
- reversion n.
- The act of returning, or coming back; return. [F. réversion, L. reversio a turning back. See Revert.]
- sicken v. t.
- To make sick; to disease.
- dilemma n.
- An argument which presents an antagonist with two or more alternatives, but is equally conclusive against him, whichever alternative he chooses. [L. dilemma, Gr. Lemma.]
- desolation n.
- The act of desolating or laying waste; destruction of inhabitants; depopulation. [F. désolation, L. desolatio.]
- bipedal a.
- Having two feet; biped. [L. bipedalis: cf. F. bipédal. See Biped, n.]
- featherless a.
- Destitute of feathers.
- plumeless a.
- Without plumes.
- hymeneal a.
- Of or pertaining to marriage; as, hymeneal rites. [L. hymeneius, a., also Hymenaeus, n., Hymen, Gr. hyménéal, hyménéen.]
- whack v. t.
- To strike; to beat; to give a heavy or resounding blow to; to thrash; to make with whacks. [Cf. Thwack.]
- scowl v. i.
- To wrinkle the brows, as in frowning or displeasure; to put on a frowning look; to look sour, sullen, severe, or angry. [Akin to Dan. skule; cf. Icel. skolla to skulk, LG. schulen to hide one's self, D. schuilen, G. schielen to squint, Dan. skele, Sw. skela, AS. sceolh squinting. ]
- rooster n.
- The male of the domestic fowl; a cock. [U.S.]
- wrote v. i.
- To root with the snout. See 1st Root. [OE. wroten. See 1st Root.]
Definitions and etymologies from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, 1913.
About this text
An Offer of Marriage is in the public domain. This text is taken from Shapes of Clay (1903), Project Gutenberg ebook #12658; the transcription's header, footer and licence were removed and nothing else was changed. You may copy, print and reuse it freely.
Cite as: Ambrose Bierce, An Offer of Marriage, in Shapes of Clay (1903), text of Project Gutenberg ebook #12658, Laurel, https://laurelpoetry.com/poem/bierce-shapes-of-clay/an-offer-of-marriage.html, id L27989.
Form and metre
An Offer of Marriage is 48 lines in 3 verse paragraphs. It is in rhyming couplets. The metre is trochaic octameter, measured from the stress the words themselves fix (confidence 84%).
See other poems in rhyming couplets, other poems in trochaic octameter.
Measured by Laurel's pipeline, not copied from a handbook: how stress and metre are counted, how rhyme is lettered, how a drifted rhyme is found. Where the dictionary cannot confirm a rhyme the letter is withheld, not guessed.
Rhyme words, stanza by stanza
The word that ends each line, lettered by the rhyme it makes; a dash is a line whose rhyme the dictionary could not confirm.
- 1 AABBCCDDEEFFGGHHIIJJKKLLMMNNOOPP seeA · sheA · ranB · manB · setC · yetC · apartD · heartD · searchE · lurchE · dudesF · solitudesF · sayG · swayG · mindH · refinedH · advanceI · chanceI · returnJ · unlearnJ · thatK · hatK · yearL · hereL · proudM · loudM · stateN · mateN · manO · vanO · linkedP · extinctP
- 2 AABBCCDDEEFFGG airA · rareA · rumpB · stumpB · termsC · wormsC · headD · saidD · drawE · clawE · earthF · worthF · scowlG · fowlG
- 3 AA thenA · henA
Scansion, line by line
Each line with its syllable count and the stresses the words themselves fix: / stressed, ˘ unstressed, · a syllable the word leaves free and the metre decides. Read against trochaic octameter. How this is done.
| Line | Syl. | Stress |
|---|---|---|
| Once I "dipt into the future far as human eye could see," | 15 | ······/˘··/˘··· |
| And saw--it was not Sandow, nor John Sullivan, but she-- | 14 | ·····/˘··/˘˘·· |
| The Emancipated Woman, who was weeping as she ran | 15 | ·˘/˘·˘/˘··/˘··· |
| Here and there for the discovery of Expurgated Man. | 15 | ·····˘/˘˘······ |
| But the sun of Evolution ever rose and ever set, | 15 | ·····˘/˘/˘··/˘· |
| And that tardiest of mortals hadn't evoluted yet. | 14 | ·····/˘/˘····· |
| Hence the tears that she cascaded, hence the sighs that tore apart | 15 | ·····˘/˘·····˘/ |
| All the tendinous connections of her indurated heart. | 14 | ··/˘˘˘/˘··/˘˘· |
| Cried Emancipated Woman, as she wearied of the search: | 15 | ·˘/˘·˘/˘··/˘··· |
| "In Advancing I have left myself distinctly in the lurch! | 15 | ·˘/˘····/˘/˘··· |
| Seeking still a worthy partner, from the land of brutes and dudes | 15 | /˘··/˘/˘······· |
| I have penetrated rashly into manless solitudes. | 15 | ··/˘·˘/˘··/˘/˘· |
| Now without a mate of any kind where am I?--that's to say, | 15 | ······/˘······· |
| Where shall I be to-morrow?--where exert my rightful sway | 14 | ·····/˘·˘/·/˘· |
| And the purifying strength of my emancipated mind? | 15 | ··/˘·˘···˘/˘·˘· |
| Can solitude be lifted up, vacuity refined? | 15 | ·/˘··/˘·˘/˘˘˘/˘ |
| Calling, calling from the shadows in the rear of my Advance-- | 15 | /˘/˘··/······˘/ |
| From the Region of Unprogress in the Dark Domain of Chance-- | 15 | ··/˘·······˘/·· |
| Long I heard the Unevolvable beseeching my return | 15 | ·········˘/˘·˘/ |
| To share the degradation he's reluctant to unlearn. | 14 | ····˘/˘·˘/˘·˘/ |
| But I fancy I detected--though I pray it wasn't that-- | 15 | ··/˘·˘/˘····/˘· |
| A low reverberation, like an echo in a hat. | 14 | ··˘·˘/˘··/˘··· |
| So I've held my way regardless, evoluting year by year, | 15 | ·····˘/˘······· |
| Till I'm what you now behold me--or would if you were here-- | 14 | ·····˘/······· |
| A condensed Emancipation and a Purifier proud | 15 | ·˘/˘·˘/˘··/˘·˘· |
| An Independent Entity appropriately loud! | 14 | ··˘/˘/˘˘˘/˘˘˘· |
| Independent? Yes, in spirit, but (O, woful, woful state!) | 15 | ·˘/˘··/˘······· |
| Doomed to premature extinction by privation of a mate-- | 15 | ···˘/˘/˘·˘/˘··· |
| To extinction or reversion, for Unexpurgated Man | 15 | ·˘/˘·˘/˘······· |
| Still awaits me in the backward if I sicken of the van. | 15 | ·˘/···/˘··/˘··· |
| O the horrible dilemma!--to be odiously linked | 15 | ··/˘˘˘/˘······˘ |
| With an Undeveloped Species, or become a Type Extinct!" | 15 | ···˘/˘/˘·˘/··˘/ |
| As Emancipated Woman wailed her sorrow to the air, | 15 | ·˘/˘·˘/˘··/˘··· |
| Stalking out of desolation came a being strange and rare-- | 15 | /˘···˘/˘··/˘··· |
| Plato's Man!--bipedal, featherless from mandible to rump, | 15 | /˘·/˘˘/˘˘·/˘˘·· |
| Its wings two quilless flippers and its tail a plumeless stump. | 14 | ·····/˘····/˘· |
| First it scratched and then it clucked, as if in hospitable terms | 15 | ··········//˘˘· |
| It invited her to banquet on imaginary worms. | 15 | ·˘/˘··/˘·˘/˘·˘· |
| Then it strutted up before her with a lifting of the head, | 15 | ··/˘······/˘··· |
| And in accents of affection and of sympathy it said: | 15 | ··/˘·˘/˘··/˘˘·· |
| "My estate is some 'at 'umble, but I'm qualified to draw | 15 | ·˘/···/˘··/˘··· |
| Near the hymeneal altar and whack up my heart and claw | 14 | ·····/˘······· |
| To Emancipated Anything as walks upon the earth; | 15 | ·˘/˘·˘/˘······· |
| And them things is at your service for whatever they are worth. | 15 | ······/˘··/˘··· |
| I'm sure to be congenial, marm, nor e'er deserve a scowl-- | 14 | ····˘/˘···˘/·· |
| I'm Emancipated Rooster, I am Expurgated Fowl!" | 15 | ·˘/˘·˘/˘······· |
| From the future and its wonders I withdrew my gaze, and then | 15 | ··/˘··/˘·˘/···· |
| Wrote this wild unfestive prophecy about the Coming Hen. | 15 | ······/˘˘···/˘· |
The reader shows the same poem with its rhymes coloured and a stress row above each line, the notes beside their stanzas, and any word's definition on a tap; the analysis page takes the whole book apart. How every part of this site was made.